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Thread: HS pitching and parenting

  1. #1
    Super Moderator sluggers's Avatar
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    Default HS pitching and parenting

    So, I go out to the ball park and I see parents struggling with their DDs in the circle. They are making themselves and their DDs a nervous wreck. This advice is for any advanced pitcher.

    Here are two things to understand:

    1) When your DD is pitching in HS and is "good", she almost certainly knows more about pitching than you, the parent, do. She is in the circle. She sees the batters. She is working with the umpire, the catcher, and the coach. She knows which pitchers are working and which are not. Therefore, any advice that you might give her is likely stupid. It would be like her walking onto your job site and telling you how to do your job.

    2) One of your DD's job is to "be a leader". News flash: Teenage girls will not respect her or follow her if Daddy is giving advice from the stands. Worse yet, if Daddy comes into the dugout, it is the kiss of death. Getting advice from Daddy in front of her friends is akin to your DD taking her teddy bear to her HS classes.

    How should you conduct yourself?

    1) Sit yourself as far away from the action as you can.,,preferably down the 3B or 1B line past the bases. Why? You are, inevitably, going to groan or sigh...you are, after all, only human. This minimizes the chance that your insane mumblings will be heard by anyone.

    2) You can make mental notes about the strategy behind pitching and discuss that with her at some later date.

    For me personally, I spent her sophomore, junior and senior years down the left field line. I did give her advice after the game. Here is the advice that was most helpful to her:

    a) If your breaking pitch isn't working, grab the backup catcher and work on it between innings.
    b) You have to throw your breaking pitch/offspeed pitch even if it isn't working. You cannot abandon a pitch simply because you couldn't get it to work in your first 10 pitches.
    c) Learn the umpire's strike zone.
    Last edited by sluggers; 04-19-2017 at 04:38 PM.
    Ray

    Every softball parent keeps a hockey mask and a butcher knife in their car...

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    JAD
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    Default

    I get that there are psycho softball parents, and pitchers parents are probably more psycho than most, but if you substituted the pitching coach for the parent in your scenarios above, would you still have a problem with some of the items on your list? While I am NOT a certified pitching instructor, I have been going to weekly private pitching lessons with my DD for 10 years, and have spent countless hours on the bucket working to perfect her mechanics. Therefore, if something is not working properly and my DD is seeking advice between innings who is the most qualified person available to help?
    "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times" ~Bruce Lee

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    Certified softball maniac corlay's Avatar
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    Default

    it sure sucks to watch DD in the circle on the days she isn't her best,
    but I decided a long time ago,
    that you work on things in practice,
    but on game day you get what you get.

    if she seeks me out and asks in-game advice, I'll give it.
    But as a general rule, I just sit and watch.
    (as long as I am not on the official coaching staff for the team)

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    Certified softball maniac GunnerShotgun's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JAD View Post
    I have been going to weekly private pitching lessons with my DD for 10 years, and have spent countless hours on the bucket working to perfect her mechanics. Therefore, if something is not working properly and my DD is seeking advice between innings who is the most qualified person available to help?
    As a coach I would say that if your daughter needs advice between innings you aren't doing it right.

    Games are exam time where you let them figure it out. Help them study in the off season and on the bucket during the week.

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    I eat, sleep and breathe softball Ken B's Avatar
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    Default

    Good thread and it could go on for pages! Sure, there are exceptions to some of this, but let them play! I feel bad when I see a kid look to the dugout or stands after every pitch expecting a comment, glare or affirmation. I love going to games and see parents letting their kid play!
    Last edited by Ken B; 04-19-2017 at 06:11 PM.
    Some of my favorite pitching sites, threads and videos: https://www.discussfastpitch.com/sof...tml#post449172 and https://fastpitchfoundations.com/

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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnerShotgun View Post
    As a coach I would say that if your daughter needs advice between innings you aren't doing it right.

    Games are exam time where you let them figure it out. Help them study in the off season and on the bucket during the week.
    Not saying she needs advice between every inning, but if DD's pitching coach was there would you have a problem with him/her providing some feedback?
    "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times" ~Bruce Lee

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    Certified softball maniac GunnerShotgun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAD View Post
    Not saying she needs advice between every inning, but if DD's pitching coach was there would you have a problem with him/her providing some feedback?
    I don't care if God almighty was there to provide infinite wisdom and compassion. Save it for after the game.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnerShotgun View Post
    I don't care if God almighty was there to provide infinite wisdom and compassion. Save it for after the game.
    Interesting perspective considering every P5 college team in the country has a pitching coach in the dugout...except for Auburn, theirs resigned.
    Last edited by JAD; 04-19-2017 at 06:58 PM.
    "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times" ~Bruce Lee

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    I eat, sleep and breathe softball Doug Romrell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAD View Post
    ....if DD's pitching coach was there would you have a problem with him/her providing some feedback?

    Odds are pretty low that a coach (HS or other) would give a fart what the pitcher's pitching coach (the person who likely knows the pitcher better than anyone) thinks or might have to say to help pitcher. Seems odd to me.

    Having said that... I have never given instruction during a game to a pitching student of mine who is playing on another team (e.g., high school ball). I've definitely HAD things I wanted to say to the pitcher, but the walls that egos build get in the way. I don't think it's proper for a pitching coach to walk up and tell the pitcher something. However, it would sure be shocking for the pitcher's coach to be humble enough to see that the pitcher needs a hint from her pitching coach. For me, the coach would have to give that pitcher permission to have a brief chat with her pitching coach.
    Last edited by Doug Romrell; 04-19-2017 at 10:22 PM.

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    Certified softball maniac GunnerShotgun's Avatar
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    It's not that I don't value other peoples (pitching coach, parent) insight it's just that I am not interested in it during the game. If I was a coach that knew little about pitching I would seek out a pitching coach, or parent to add to the staff or help out during practice.

    I don't need hitting/pitching/fielding tips from the stands during a game. Come to practice or catch me after a game.

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