Need advice regarding school ball and my DD

My DD started a private school this year for the 1st time after being recruited to play softball there. She has been very excited about this opportunity and formed a bond with the coach. Unfortunately, we found out this coach will be leaving her school because he accepted a position at another school. She was devastated with this news and almost seems to be disinterested in anything softball now. She was going to be playing jv because rules will not allow her to play varsity because of coming from public school. It now looks like the new coach will not have a jv so my daughter will basically not play a game until travel ball starts in may. Any advice on how to keep her skills and morale up with such a long lay over before any live pitching for her.


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My DD has decided to sit out her Senior year of HS ball. Luckily, the state next door allows HS ball and TB to be played at the same time. I'm in the process of fielding a temporary team of players to go play tourneys over there. Find your state or local SB forum and see if there are any temporary teams such as mine or if that doesn't interest your DD, then look for sub opportunities.

ETA: Also, let your PC know what's going on. Many times a team coach looking for a sub will contact local PC's.

I know it's different with older girls, but we have metro ball here for younger girls which is like the HS feeder program. My DD was too young this year (she's a late bday so she plays with 2024 kids but she's a 2025), but half our team was playing so there were several months between the end of our summer ball season, and when our team could really get going. We picked up with other travel teams in the meantime. I don't know if that's an option when they're older, if maybe none of the travel teams play til May? If some do though maybe she could guest play some. My DD loves doing that, plus I think it's great to get her exposed to various coaching styles and personalities.

Legendsmom said:

My DD started a private school this year for the 1st time after being recruited to play softball there. She has been very excited about this opportunity and formed a bond with the coach. Unfortunately, we found out this coach will be leaving her school because he accepted a position at another school. She was devastated with this news and almost seems to be disinterested in anything softball now. She was going to be playing jv because rules will not allow her to play varsity because of coming from public school. It now looks like the new coach will not have a jv so my daughter will basically not play a game until travel ball starts in may. Any advice on how to keep her skills and morale up with such a long lay over before any live pitching for her.

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I am more curious than anything, are you saying she changed high schools due to softball?

AndyS said:

I am more curious than anything, are you saying she changed high schools due to softball?

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That's how I read it too. Not sure about other states, but that's against high school rules here. That doesn't mean it's not happening, but nobody advertises it and risks getting the school in trouble.

MNDad said:

That's how I read it too. Not sure about other states, but that's against high school rules here. That doesn't mean it's not happening, but nobody advertises it and risks getting the school in trouble.

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It is OK to do here for the private schools (which seems to be the case here) - they can recruit away all they want. Two of our local private schools do it every year - they try and take the best public school sophomore and junior pitcher and offer her a scholarship to come pitch for them. Lots of fun for the opposition and no fun for the school that had the best pitcher until they were recruited away. Florida doesn't make them sit out a year or force them to play JV as the OP's state clearly does.

Public schools can't do that.... supposedly. Florida has been trying to crack down on recruiting/attending the 'wrong' high school with some success, but it still goes on.

Back to the OP...

First, that doesn't seem like all that strong of a 'bond' since it sounds like this was a big surprise.

And second, unless you are allowed to go back to public school and play, it doesn't sound like there is much you can do in terms of games. As for your DD, I am sure she feels let down and rejected - she is going to have to get over it. Happens in recruiting ALL the time and I am sure will continue to happen as life moves forward. Up to her to find a way to get over it (with your support). Hopefuly she is allowed to practice with the team - otherwise it is going to be travel out of state to someplace where they are playing travel because they have already had their HS season in the Fall. Or just a break - it isn't all that long really - go find another sport to cross-train in for a few weeks. Do some cross-fit or something else.

My daughter did form a bond with this coach which is what makes this hard for her. This is a great private school with great academics and sports so I don't feel that all was lost with this coach leaving. She still has a scholarship and the academics alone makes it worth it. She can still practice with the team but state rules will not allow her to practice or play with any travel team during high school ball. I also told her that this will most likely not be the last time that something like this happens to her. She loves her travel team and I told her to focus on mechanics and just get a lot of practice in until may. Just hard to see her so sad about something that she was so excited about just a few short weeks ago. As far as the school recruiting her, it does happen all the time here with the private schools. Is it fair, probably not but it's hard to turn down a scholarship that will offer better opportunities and I'm talking academics more so then sports.


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Legendsmom said:

My daughter did form a bond with this coach which is what makes this hard for her. This is a great private school with great academics and sports so I don't feel that all was lost with this coach leaving. She still has a scholarship and the academics alone makes it worth it. She can still practice with the team but state rules will not allow her to practice or play with any travel team during high school ball. I also told her that this will most likely not be the last time that something like this happens to her. She loves her travel team and I told her to focus on mechanics and just get a lot of practice in until may. Just hard to see her so sad about something that she was so excited about just a few short weeks ago. As far as the school recruiting her, it does happen all the time here with the private schools. Is it fair, probably not but it's hard to turn down a scholarship that will offer better opportunities and I'm talking academics more so then sports.


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She isn't allowed to practice or play with a TB team during HS even if she isn't on the team? That seems odd. Our state has a rule about playing TB during HS season but only if you are on the HS team...

Legendsmom said:

M As far as the school recruiting her, it does happen all the time here with the private schools. Is it fair, probably not but it's hard to turn down a scholarship that will offer better

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If it's legal, then no need to defend the school or your decision. My guess is that this private school is a member of a smaller athletic association and not the major one in your state. Virtually every state has one major high school association that governs the large majority of schools, including all the public schools, and those major state high school associations generally have rules against recruiting or ''undue influence'' in attempts to persuade kids to transfer. But if this school is a member of a smaller association of private schools, then it would not be too surprising if recruiting and scholarships were just part of the game. And I certainly wouldn't think it strange for any family/child to choose a better and cheaper education. Sounds like a great deal.

In any event, sorry for the disappointment. The high school season is only for a short time and might make her more eager for playing real games after it's over. Hope so.

If you live near a state that plays HS ball in the Fall (like GA) see if any teams there would be interested in a TB pickup player for the Spring. We start TB practice Sunday!