Player not showing up for practice due to mom

I'm with Yocoach on this one. As talented as the player in question is, does that give her the right to be "above the team" and habitually blow off practice? It may be "only" rec ball, but I'm sure the games and playing time mean as much to all the other kids on this team as it would to teammates on a travel squad, not to mention the other dozen families who have bought into the team concept and get their kids to practice.

As a coach, teaching accountability may be more important than teaching softball skills to young people.

softballphreak said:

If you've never seen them sober how do you know they were drunk? I ask this because I once worked with a guy that I never knew was drunk until he came in sober one day.

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I need to stand away from them when talking, the smell of whiskey is overwhelming.

WAY TO GO!!!! In spite of some of the criticism you have been getting, you may be the only person actually doing something positive for the girl. You are holding her accountable for the rules. Wow. What a concept. This girl (and 99.999999% of the others talked about on this forum) is never going to make a living playing softball. But she will have rules placed on her that she needs to follow or there will be consequences. Here is an extremely simple thing to do in order to avoid punishment and she chose not to do it. So she was punished. Awesome job!

For those of you that thought this was extreme for rec ball, is there a difference when it comes to team rules? Do we consider rec players to be so useless and stupid that there is no reason to ask them to follow rules? Since they are not perfect enough to play tb, they should just do whatever they want with no consequences? Rec players may not be as physically talented or wealthy as tb players but that does not mean they are not capable of following some simple team rules.

I applaud the OP for doing something positive for this girl and the entire team. It is still more lenient than most employers so this is a perfect opportunity for these children to get used to answering to someone. Play the ones that follow the rules and punish the ones that don't.

Country Boy said:

WAY TO GO!!!! In spite of some of the criticism you have been getting, you may be the only person actually doing something positive for the girl. You are holding her accountable for the rules. Wow. What a concept. This girl (and 99.999999% of the others talked about on this forum) is never going to make a living playing softball. But she will have rules placed on her that she needs to follow or there will be consequences. Here is an extremely simple thing to do in order to avoid punishment and she chose not to do it. So she was punished. Awesome job!

For those of you that thought this was extreme for rec ball, is there a difference when it comes to team rules? Do we consider rec players to be so useless and stupid that there is no reason to ask them to follow rules? Since they are not perfect enough to play tb, they should just do whatever they want with no consequences? Rec players may not be as physically talented or wealthy as tb players but that does not mean they are not capable of following some simple team rules.

I applaud the OP for doing something positive for this girl and the entire team. It is still more lenient than most employers so this is a perfect opportunity for these children to get used to answering to someone. Play the ones that follow the rules and punish the ones that don't.

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I know that I'm going to get censored for this personal attack, but I'm going to say it anyway. You sound like someone with very little life experience outside the bubble you were bred in.

The original poster is frustrated. He hates the kid's mother, because of what she represents. Read his own words. I believe YOCOACH when he says he has made extraordinary efforts to make the player a part of the team and that he's had enough. The tone of your post, however, indicates you've never really seen firsthand the type of environment YOCOACH is talking about. I bet everything you think you know about urban environments came from television and talk radio.

Keep on patting yourself on the back, though. I know you feel you've earned those kudos for having been born into a life of privilege when compared to this young girl you've chosen to demonize for having crappy parents.

YOCOACH said:

Because she missed playing in at least half the games, she was ineligible to play for the All-Stars team in which she would have made the #1 team easily as she was one of my best players. She cried about not being able to play for All-Stars and blamed me for sitting her the necessary games and her mother (single parent) for being too lazy to bring her.

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How can a girl who misses 30 of 32 practices make an all-star team? It doesn't make sense that a team can have a rule to bench a player for missing practices while the league would take that player on an all-star team.

If it were me, in our rec league, I would not sit her out of games for missing practices. I'd just bat her last. To me, rec ball is what kids want to make of it as long as they aren't ruining the experience of their teammates. If they don't practice or put forth any effort, they won't bat as high or get the positions they want in the field. But I don't see the point in benching her.

Yocoach,It sounds like you have, are in a tough position to be in.I think you care for this girl,or you would not have started this thread.I know that she is 14yo and should call you when she can't make it.I think that she is just a product of her enviroment,if mom does,nt teach her to be responable then how will she ever learn.I think what you have to ask yourself,is this kid worth your time,and I think you allready answered that question by starting this thread.Some times it takes just one person to show someone that they matter and it could change her for life.I can't tell you what to do and nobody on this site either,you have to answer that yourself.

I am with Yocoach on this. If she wanted to go to practice , all she had to do was use her phone and call the coach.

Country Boy,just because a girl plays TB does not make her parents wealthy,or a better player or what ever else you were ranting about.I'am not wealthy,I'am a single parent and only have my dd to take care of.We spend are vaction seeing the world one field at a time , and if my dd happens to be better then a rec. player so be it,she works hard learning this game.Well you might be right about these girls never making a living playing softball,but softball could help open the doors to make a good living.Do I think this girl should be punished,yes but thats not for me to decide and it is not for you to judge all TB players or Rec players,and by the way my dd started out in rec. ball and still plays during the week in rec ball,TB was just the next step to take.

SoftScodad,

Sorry. Just got done slopping the pigs out here in redneckville. Didn't realize I lived such a life of luxury! Sweet.

As I understood the original post, the girl doesn't have to attend practice. She just has to let the coach know she won't be there a whopping 60 minutes before practice. So it doesn't matter if her mom can't sober up, get motivated and take her. She just has to call. So there is no penalty for not showing up. There is no penalty for being from a disadvantaged home. There is a penalty for not informing the coach that she won't be there. OP says Player has a phone. Player needs to make a call. Or player doesn't play. Simple enough for me. If I misunderstood any of the facts in this post, I apologize to everyone.

I did not intend to demonize the player and don't think I did. Just applauding OP for establishing rules and holding everyone accountable for following them. Really can't understand how you think that teaching a 14yr old to follow the rules is bad. This has nothing to do with her genetics, my genetics, my location, her education or anyone's environment. This is about the rules. Our country is filled with them. Our game is filled with them. 14yr olds need to get used to them.

A question: Since this girl is from a disadvantaged family, if she hits a ball and is thrown out at first, does she get to continue to run the bases or is she out? If she drops a popfly, is the other player still out because this girl comes from a bad home environment? I am betting those rules are enforced without regard to her background. So why shouldn't the others apply?

Your liberal attitude, in large part, is what is wrong with this country. Too many people making excuses for not following the rules. This girls mother was incapable or unwilling to take the girl to practice. That's too bad and, even though my silver spoon is hurting my teeth, I am sympathetic. But the girl wasn't punished for her mother. She was punished because she couldn't bother to pick up HER phone and call the coach. The OP making excuses for this girl is not going to help her. There are plenty of people like you lined up to make excuses for her. She needs someone to teach her, not enable her.

Not sure why you feel the need to attack me. But don't care. I'll just pull up my big boy panties and get back to work. Them thar chickens is needin' fed.

countryboyI think you live in a city or suburb,the closeest tree near you is in your living room at Christmas, is'nt it.Well I would talk to you more but I have to get back to chopping down more trees,so you can make yourself another wine rack in your wine cellar