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Thread: Bite your tongue, or coaches coach?

  1. #11
    Checking out the clubhouse Greatdaytobeawildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubrox View Post
    Is there a reason your coaches wouldn't coach the girls every year? Even when they move up? Sounds like you have a good thing going, take them all the way to 18's.
    We’ve definitely done really good things with these girls, but after this summer we’ve all agreed it’ll be time for them to experience non-parent coaches. For the girls who continue in our org, there is an excellent coaching pair (who they know and love) waiting for them at 12u. The competition and time commitment will ramp up, and there are some playing-time and position decisions to be made that for the sake of our friendships we don’t think we should be making going forward.

    And thanks all for the responses, sounds like silence is golden in this case, no matter how badly one wants to chime in.
    Good throws win games

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  3. #12
    I can talk softball all day Gags's Avatar
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    I’ll go the contrarian route and say it’s OK to offer advice - IF done correctly. If all you’ve done is exchange “heys” - than yes, keep quiet.

    However, if you’re in even the most casual of conversations, and you can avoid coming across as “pssst...tell me your daughter’s weakness”, I think a simple question such as “you guys working on anything, or just getting some swings in?” gives both parties multiple response options.

    But yeah, having a “tense” past relationship makes a successful exchange of information much less likely!

    Good luck with the handoff next year. If I was one of the other parents - I’d hate to lose the level of experience your staff has.


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    Certified softball maniac pattar's Avatar
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    Keep quiet. That said, reading your post, it appears like you are assuming he wasn't saying anything to his DD because
    he felt everything was fine ( "and he wasn’t exactly offering her any super helpful or insightful guidance" ). I can tell you from
    experience that just because a Dad is keeping their mouth shut when they are hitting with their DD doesn't necessarily mean they like what they are seeing...

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    Softball Junkie justanotherguy's Avatar
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    This past week I rented a cage so my DD could get some batting in before the weekend's prospect camp. (Lots of rain so our backyard cage was mush.) The father next to me was pitching to his son. Kid might have been 9, max. The kid had a mass of issues, as almost any kid that age does. But, what stood out to me was the massive disconnect he had with timing his father's pitch. I wanted to tell him through the net, SO BAD, "Load before the ball is in the air". That simple timing queue would have made a world of difference. His father never said a thing to him, and the kid kept letting the ball get by him before he started his swing. I bit my tongue so hard (figuratively) wanting to throw a little bit of help his way. Alas, not my place.

  8. #15
    I'm a fan Fort83's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eric F View Post
    Based on the situation you described, I would keep my mouth shut. If I had a friendly relationship with the other coach, I might tactfully offer my observations to him/her (not directly to the player), and let the coach take it from there how they choose.
    I am with you on this one. I would never go to the player and say anything but would say something off to the side to the coach.

  9. #16
    Ex "Expert" Cannonball's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pattar View Post
    Keep quiet. That said, reading your post, it appears like you are assuming he wasn't saying anything to his DD because
    he felt everything was fine ( "and he wasn’t exactly offering her any super helpful or insightful guidance" ). I can tell you from
    experience that just because a Dad is keeping their mouth shut when they are hitting with their DD doesn't necessarily mean they like what they are seeing...
    This can be true and often I have heard from a parent that they tell their dd the same thing I say but their dd seems to only listen to me. Therefore, some parents bite their tongues when watching their own dds hit because the get frustrated or even angry sometimes.
    My opinions here are simply that, My Opinions. I'm an ex expert. I no longer care to have to be right.

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    Certified softball maniac pattar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cannonball View Post
    This can be true and often I have heard from a parent that they tell their dd the same thing I say but their dd seems to only listen to me. Therefore, some parents bite their tongues when watching their own dds hit because the get frustrated or even angry sometimes.
    Some days DD is receptive to instruction, some days she isn't....just like the rest of us I would guess . I am getting better at reading queues such that now 90% of our hitting sessions are argue-free

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  13. #18
    I eat, sleep and breathe softball grcsftbll's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pattar View Post
    Some days DD is receptive to instruction, some days she isn't....just like the rest of us I would guess . I am getting better at reading queues such that now 90% of our hitting sessions are argue-free
    Mine too! She will listen to her pitching coach with rapt attention. Dad saying the same thing gets an eyeroll or a smart comment. 12 is fun. @@
    Softball Mom

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    Softball Junkie bucket pinata's Avatar
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    Id keep my mouth shut,If her swing is all mechanical and jacked up it likely she is already getting way to much "input"

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    Administrator Ken Krause's Avatar
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    I am also in the "bite your tongue" camp. In fact, since I spend so much time at public cages I'm surprised I have a tongue at all.

    Sometimes what I see makes me throw up a little in my mouth. But it's not my circus or my monkeys. If someone asks my opinion I am more than happy to share it. Otherwise, I just move along.
    Ken Krause
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    For help with technical problems with the Forum, email me at support@discussfastpitch.com

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