I think if a coach has to yell, they obviously failed to cover something prior, but think yelling and placing the blame on the player is somehow constructive. My son is 11, and I like the way his football coach does things. He will yell to motivate and congratulate players, but won't yell across the field at a player. He will take them aside and talk to them if they f'd up, but not openly call them out in front of parents and players.
Hey @##@! Coach...
- Thread starter marriard
- Start date
Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch
Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.
You're a better person than I am. I would have "no so politely" declined. Laughter might have been part of my answer.
Going into my 20th year of coaching girls softball. Luckily I had a very experienced mentor right from the beginning. He taught me that you gain zero respect by yelling at players. In fact you will become a source of ridicule and in a short time they will tune you out. He also taught me that in most cases field performance is a direct reflection of player selection and coaching. Take the player aside later on or after the game and clarify the situation. Even better see # 4 below regarding senior leadership.
We tell each player in the first ream meeting of the season that all we ask is for; 1-Be on time. 2-your attention each day, 3-your best effort in each practice and game, 4-to be a good teammate (and for the seniors be leaders). 5-Never be afraid of the coaches.
1- Being late without an acceptable excuse shows disrespect to the coaches and other players and will cause you to fall behind in learning skills needed to succeed.
2- If you pay attention to our coaching instruction you will learn the proper techniques needed to succeed. Instruction, demonstration, repetition, correction (if needed), repetition.
3- If you give your best effort we will never fault you no matter the result. Try to improve yourself not prove yourself.
4- No one wants to commit an error, strike out in a crucial situation, or fail when the game is on the line. So support your teammate because the next time it could be you.
5- We intend to be approachable and will listen to your concerns with an open mind. Respect the decision even of it not what you wanted. A further explanation it will be provided.
This is not the be all end all. We've had players who just didn't get it or refused to comply with the above. In those cases playing time was effected or they quit. But in all cases they were given every opportunity beforehand.
We tell each player in the first ream meeting of the season that all we ask is for; 1-Be on time. 2-your attention each day, 3-your best effort in each practice and game, 4-to be a good teammate (and for the seniors be leaders). 5-Never be afraid of the coaches.
1- Being late without an acceptable excuse shows disrespect to the coaches and other players and will cause you to fall behind in learning skills needed to succeed.
2- If you pay attention to our coaching instruction you will learn the proper techniques needed to succeed. Instruction, demonstration, repetition, correction (if needed), repetition.
3- If you give your best effort we will never fault you no matter the result. Try to improve yourself not prove yourself.
4- No one wants to commit an error, strike out in a crucial situation, or fail when the game is on the line. So support your teammate because the next time it could be you.
5- We intend to be approachable and will listen to your concerns with an open mind. Respect the decision even of it not what you wanted. A further explanation it will be provided.
This is not the be all end all. We've had players who just didn't get it or refused to comply with the above. In those cases playing time was effected or they quit. But in all cases they were given every opportunity beforehand.
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,975
- 83
One of the things I do is to tell the players if they make a mistake. I'm not picking on them when I explain what they did wrong to the whole team. I let them know if Susie did something wrong there's a good chance the other girls on the team are confused about something. So instead of explaining something 13 times I only have to do it once. I also do it when they do something correct that is above the normal.
Last edited:
- Dec 11, 2010
- 4,725
- 113
One of my dd’s had a very good coach that was particularly well suited for young players. He told me that when you coach the youngest kids you will have to tell them the same thing over and over and sometimes do the same thing in practice over and over. They eventually get it and then you can move on. He said some groups get it quick, some don’t. Hang in there!
- Jun 12, 2015
- 3,848
- 83
Yes, thank you! I love that you said what you did about boys, too. My older daughter played baseball with a team full of boys and I've never bought that line about girls v. boys. You build them up and give them confidence, YES, you hold them accountable. But you don't have to verbally abuse them to do it. "In my day..." is not a good argument. We know better, we do better. Or we should.
Bingo!! I have been very lucky over the years. 14 years of coaching. Much of it three sports (softball, basketball, and soccer). And over that time I experienced very little drama. Very few complaints. Very few issues. Although I'm sure some things were said behind my back... But I saw the other side of this last year in high school softball. DD's coach wasn't the best coach. But she cared about the players and did all she could to help them improve. In return, the parents did nothing but bad mouth her, attack her in the newspapers and on social media, and go to the school board on 3 separate occasions to try to have her fired. From where I sat, this was 5% a coaching problem and 95% a parent problem. I have no idea how or why she puts up with it. I know how much she makes as a high school coach, and it definitely does not make up for the garbage she deals with. Yes, there are some bad coaches out there. But some of the good coaches are leaving because of the parent BS.
- Jun 12, 2015
- 3,848
- 83
I think I mostly agree with this. No coach is going to be perfect but so many parents just seem like they're never, ever happy.
- Jul 4, 2018
- 25
- 3
We are fortunate to have a coach that does not have a kid on the team and is a very good coach. Yelling at players is a broad topic and differs from age level to age level, team to team, and has more to do with player coach relationships. You most likely yell at your kid at home, does that mean you are a bad parent? Of course not. You have a relationship with your child, hopefully they trust you and know that not long after you yell at them you will give them a hug and love on them. Our players really respect our coach and they do a lot of laughing together and they know when she yells at them she really means it, and she can launch into some hum-dingers. My wife and I have a policy that we try to never leave the house right after a scrap nor go to bed mad. Our coach seems to have a similar policy as she never lets the team leave on a negative note, she will always build them back up after tearing them up. She never berates them but is not afraid to tell them they are not giving max effort or are not performing the way they have been taught. She is very fair. I am on the coaching staff so I get to hear it all. My daughter loves her, truly, and can't wait to see her and that seems to be the case for all the girls.
