Is this any of the coach's business?

GoRight said:

Kinda on topic....What if you’re kid is a solid B player trying to break on to an A level National team. What if she verbally commits to the B team. Is it poor tryout etiquette to still attend that National level team tryout? I’m thinking it is, even if your daughter is just trying to make a jump up in level.


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IMO if you COMMIT to a team, you're committed for whatever time period you agreed to, which usually is fall around here. To me it is in poor taste to commit to a team (where they now think they have a spot filled and one less player to find), then continue to try out hoping for something better. Don't accept a spot unless you're sure.

Now, he may not have worded it perfect and whatnot, but I can
see his point. If he is expecting certain players to come back, then he sounds like he wants to make sure so he knows what he needs to shop for during
tryouts to help the team. If a player says yes, yes, yes...but is shopping for the next best team and leaves late...you have just hamstrung the team now to find
players last minute, which isn't fair to the rest of the team and of course, the coach will get blamed for not having players to fill the spot and the teams performance. Now if he
were to replace a girl on the team, the parents would have a sh!t fit that he replaced their dd after she committed and said yes and its gonna be hard
to find another team. But that's NOT ok and the coach is a jerk. But its ok to say yes, and still shop for the next best team and leave his team hanging. Doesn't
seem right.

1st of all I've been pretty spoiled by my sons baseball coach. He goes as far as to tell parents to take their kids to other teams tryouts. He sees it as if you want to be there fine. And if you dont want to be there then fine. Of course Im sure there are more behind the scenes things that I'm not seeing but its also not for me to see as Im not the coach. I've watched kids leave and come back quite a bit over the years.

With that said I see both sides of the issue that many have raised here. its important (especially for younger kids) to go through the tryout process. Its less of a shock when they get to high school. I also understand that yes you are wasting a coaches time if you have 0 plans on even considering an offer and Im pretty sure most coaches would tell you "No" if you brought it up to them before hand.

Overall you never know if there is a better situation out there for your kid. I just found out my son is going to have a highly touted kid playing with him during the fall. Come to find out he hasnt been recruited much as his HS coach nor his Summer coach has done much for him in that regard. They travel to the large showcases and win way more often then they lose. They dont play fall ball so he'll come to us. Truth be told I dont think (based upon my dealings in my home town and reading some of these posts) anyone in softball would allow that to happen because for some reason we treat our girls way different than our boys.

Sparky Guy said:

Bill Conroy from the Beverly Bandits sends out an organization wide email that is worded similarly at the end of the season. All he asks is if the player is leaving the organization to let him know.

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On a similar note: Ive heard Bill Conroy and Bandits sends out an email/text during the plane flight back from PGF nationals that you're being cut from the team if they've decided to cut you. No face to face, just the cold email during the flight. I understand getting on the plane back is a very anxious time for the Bandits girls. I guess you know, but it seems cold.

Softball scholar said:

On a similar note: Ive heard Bill Conroy and Bandits sends out an email/text during the plane flight back from PGF nationals that you're being cut from the team if they've decided to cut you. No face to face, just the cold email during the flight. I understand getting on the plane back is a very anxious time for the Bandits girls. I guess you know, but it seems cold.

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That is so harsh. I don't think they should do that by email with professional players, much less young girls. It's not like there's 50 people on each team. Take the time to talk to the few you're cutting. Unless you're a chicken of course.

CMMom1740 said:

That is so harsh. I don't think they should do that by email with professional players, much less young girls. It's not like there's 50 people on each team. Take the time to talk to the few you're cutting. Unless you're a chicken of course.

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I did mean Bill Conroy's Beverly Bandits which his girls aren't professional (not the professional Chicago Bandits) to make clear. I agree with you that you should have the courtesy to say goodby face to face. But they are one of the top teams in the country and they run it like a business. You cant argue against their success.

On the flip side, my DD has been on the same team for a few years and loves the coach and likes the other girls and we haven't messed with tryouts since. Drama really isn't an issue and we have relatively low turnover. I consider my DD and even as a parents lucky to get in a situation like this. When you get to 16s and 18s, I thinks there's less turnover and drama and people seem to be on the same with similar expectations. The 12u and 14U are the years with volatility as some girls want to get on better teams to improve and some go there way on other interests. But I understand a coach's perspective and wanting to know his players intentions and that's totally fair. But again, coach's cant but unreasonable deadlines, or make demands that you cant go to tryouts and have to understand maybe their girl might land in a situation that Might be better for them. Tryout season can turn into a game of musical chairs and sometimes coaches come out on losing end. Can happen to some girls to.

I actually like the approach of the coach. He needs to know who is coming back and what holes he needs to fill for the next season. I personally would rather coach asks in person of each player what they are thinking for next season. That way he can get a list together of girls that are for sure coming back, possibly coming back, and those that are leaving for sure. It sucks for both the coaches and players during tryout time, but I would rather a coach know my DD is coming back for sure and then not be shopping for a girl for her position.

I don't miss the shopping around for teams at all. We only had to do it one year thankfully. DD had to take an entire year off due to spinal fusion surgery. Mandatory one year with no physical activity. The exactly one year date was August 1st. She got cleared by doctor and did three tryouts the same weekend. Got offers from all three teams. That is when it gets awkward to me as the dad. Again, I think honesty is the best policy for parents and like the coach above. I was completely honest with all three and told them about the other offers and that I would give it a little time for parents and dd to discuss our best options. One was pretty easy to dismiss as the coach had remembered DD pitching when she was 12. She had not pitched since she was 12, but he insisted that she try out with the pitchers. This was for a 2nd year 14U team. She was WILD as in throwing the ball all over the place. Coach called the same day and wanted her to be his "#1" pitcher because she was the fastest clocked pitcher at the entire try out....All that said to me was this team has no pitching what so ever. He was easy to turn down.

Maybe people are reading the email as if it came from their coach with his personality. If I got that email from my coach it wouldn’t bother me at all. He promotes guest playing if we aren’t playing. He wants what’s best for every girl. Our whole team knows we are having tryouts and at last count there are 16 girls trying out for 2 spots. So good communication helps everyone yesterday we had a young pitcher leave the team and it would not surprise me if our coach helped her going to a new team. We have 7 strong pitchers so no one gets a lot of pitching time. We hated to see her go because she was a good player, but with 4 pool pitchers every other tournament at most. Moving was best for her. That being said by telling coach now we need 3. I think honesty is all this coach is asking for. I hear the horror of Travel ball just glad we are not on one of those teams. And I you think it’s none of the coaches business on how serious you are about joining his team I’m glad you are not on our team.

The problem is that from a coaches position all of the "verbals" are meaningless so why even bother asking? I don't consider a player to be on the team until the initial deposit has been received.

Lobster Birch said:

Got an email from my DD's coach from last season the day before tryouts part of which read as follows:

"I am asking any family who is weighing other team options to contact me before our tryout tomorrow. As I work to establish a roster of twelve (12) it will be important to know who is evaluating other organizations as well. I do not take this position or responsibility lightly and want to do everything I can to make sure that the players who are selected are all in and not looking at or wishing that they were on a different team or questioning the situation. That does not bring success for the team or families. I will work hard for this team and believe it is important to have that effort reciprocated."

While I certainly understand his desire to know who is looking elsewhere is it really any of his business? Is it out of line for him to ask?

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Would love to see the reaction if your boss sent out and email saying "anyone considering employment elsewhere please let me know"...