Is this any of the coach's business?

Elk Grove Hurricane said:

The issue wasn't whether they accepted, it is demanding an immediate acceptance before you left the field. I find that approach distasteful, give the family a chance to talk in private and make sure this is what they want. In our family, neither my wife nor I commit to any financial decision without at least consulting the other, and I frankly don't know what a team's dues will be before a tryout, even if a friend tells me what they were last season I want to hear it from the coach before I consider it offiical.
I personally have always ended tryout season when we accept an offer, but there are some who may not know about an opening when they accepted, and legitimately think after accepting that they should at least look at the new opening. It isn't my style, but it isn't for me to judge others either.

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We had a coach do that 2 years ago. He called the same night as the tryout and wanted an immediate answer. My husband and kids were at the Braves game at the time. I was like I am not making this decision without my husband and my daughter (the actual player) here! Are you nuts? He was not happy. We did not go with that team. The whole "desperate" vibe was overwhelming.

Are players being honest when they say they will return to their team? I think it's challenging for coaches to make an offer to two pitchers when they already have two pitchers who have said they will return, only to find out later they have decided to leave in the 11th hour. This is the stressful part of tryout week. If there is no conversation it's a chess match and poker at the same time. I think parents would appreciate an end of year conversation between the coach and player, and then with the parents about his/her intentions for the next year. The player either gets an offer to stay or she doesn't and the coach can explain his decision, whatever it is, with the player and parents. If the player gets an invite back I think it's appropriate to ask for a small non-refundable deposit, maybe $250 dollars. At this time I think it's also appropriate for the player and parents to share their agenda for the tryout week. The parents can pay the deposit to hold a roster spot but not necessarily their starting position, or pass on the deposit and take their chances. At least everyone knows the situation. It's not complicated or difficult to be upfront and honest and to deal with your choices to test the waters or not.

pattar said:

Is he making existing players tryout as well?

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Interestingly, I never got any communication that said they had to. I received one email at the end of June or so demanding we state our intention about returning by mid July. I replied we hadn't had any conversation about playing next year - because we hadn't.

Orange Socks said:

Back in the 14U days I wish our coach talked to the players before tryouts to get an indication of what they were thinking as far as coming back or not.

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So do I, but I don't think it's proper to demand to know if your DD is going to try out for other teams.

Lobster Birch said:

So do I, but I don't think it's proper to demand to know if your DD is going to try out for other teams.

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I don’t know what your experience on this team has been like, and I don’t know the coach personally. From what I read, I would not say he was demanding anything.

I look at it like the coach was being proactive and opening up conversation for the next season. Reaching out in June and asking for an answer in a few weeks about each player’s intentions is not what I’d consider a demand.

Your reaction to this tells me you are not a big fan to begin with.


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Lobster Birch said:

Got an email from my DD's coach from last season the day before tryouts part of which read as follows:

"I am asking any family who is weighing other team options to contact me before our tryout tomorrow. As I work to establish a roster of twelve (12) it will be important to know who is evaluating other organizations as well. I do not take this position or responsibility lightly and want to do everything I can to make sure that the players who are selected are all in and not looking at or wishing that they were on a different team or questioning the situation. That does not bring success for the team or families. I will work hard for this team and believe it is important to have that effort reciprocated."

While I certainly understand his desire to know who is looking elsewhere is it really any of his business? Is it out of line for him to ask?

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Bill Conroy from the Beverly Bandits sends out an organization wide email that is worded similarly at the end of the season. All he asks is if the player is leaving the organization to let him know.

Cyder517 said:

Reaching out in June and asking for an answer in a few weeks about each player’s intentions is not what I’d consider a demand.

Your reaction to this tells me you are not a big fan to begin with.


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The reaching out in June was a separate email and I didn't have any issue with it.

Sparky Guy said:

Bill Conroy from the Beverly Bandits sends out an organization wide email that is worded similarly at the end of the season. All he asks is if the player is leaving the organization to let him know.

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If people know they should be upfront. If they plan to explore other options before making a decision they may feel they're shooting themselves in the foot by revealing that.

For the record I did let the coach know we were going to look around because I didn't care too much if he held it against us.

at the end of the day you do what is best for your DD. PERIOD! I believe one should try to do it with as much honesty as possible. In other words don't ever lie. I hate liers. However, not disclosing everything if it protects you DD is not a lie. LB, sounds like you have done what you can do to do the best for DD.

Does it even matter, really? You can't believe anyone anyway til you have their money. We lost 2 just a few days ago who'd already committed. Even if they say heck yeah, coach, we're all in, they might not be. I appreciate up-front communication and wouldn't have a problem with this approach personally. But I doubt much of the info he gets will be worth anything.