Common issues

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Jul 19, 2014
2,390
48
Madison, WI
There seem to be a lot of common issues that pop up again and again and again.

Maybe there should be a sticky. Some of you may be old enough to remember FAQs. Do we need one?

Here are a few:

Q1. Daddyball (or mommyball) issues.

A. Start looking for a new team. If the situation is bearable, suck it up for the rest of the season, then leave. If not bearable, and if your DD leaving wouldn't completely disrupt the team, maybe leave earlier if there is a good Plan B.

Q2. HS ball issues:

A. If bearable, suck it up for the rest of the season then decide if your DD should play HS ball next year.
If NOT bearable, quit. Realize there is no Plan B.

Q3. What sort of bat should my DD use?

A. Coresoftball20 has the answer.
 
Jun 19, 2013
753
28
I think the thing about Q1 and Q2 though are that when that is your issue your emotions are running high and you really just want to get it off your chest to someone who understands and a sticky doesn't really help that much with that. You can read answers to someone else with the same problem and they may all pertain to you exactly but you want to type it all out to let the world know that your coach/school/team/umpire situation sucks really bad and everyone needs to know it - NOW!!! hehe
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
I think the thing about Q1 and Q2 though are that when that is your issue your emotions are running high and you really just want to get it off your chest to someone who understands and a sticky doesn't really help that much with that. You can read answers to someone else with the same problem and they may all pertain to you exactly but you want to type it all out to let the world know that your coach/school/team/umpire situation sucks really bad and everyone needs to know it - NOW!!! hehe

I think that sums it up nicely.
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
I complain on board a fair amount, like getting it off. Example...

DD is going to play OF on new Team when she plays, her fault being able to play OF.

You are right for complaining but I like seeing I am not on my own.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
We complain because we care.

The single most important job of any society is raising the next generation.

I went to two graduations recently: DS graduated from college, DD 2 from high school. I think of all the thousands of dollars spent by relatives traveling, and meals and hotels (esp. for DS, being out of town). That is so my kids could get their 5 seconds of fame, between the time their names were announced and when the next graduate is announced. The HS graduation is kids around 18 years old, so with about 500 graduates, that means about 9000 years of parenting and 9000 years of growing and learning for our kids.

We want the best for our kids. We want them exposed to people like the teachers and coaches that inspired my DS to go into engineering, and to row in college. Or the teachers who helped DD 2 decide which colleges to apply to, and who helped teach her where her interests lie. We do NOT want them exposed to bullies, to coaches and teachers who play favorites (whether it is cliques or daddyball), and those who would crush their dreams.

Not long ago, I remembered when the previous principal of my kids' HS died -- a truly great and inspiring principal. I remember the emotion when I told a fellow I met walking my dog that the principal had died. This man told me how that principal turned his DD's life around with correction and encouragement. The current principal is the hand-picked successor to the legendary deceased principal. About a month ago I wrote to the new principal (better to tell him when he is still alive) about how a few weeks into his new principal job the new principal did something that helped turn my DD 1's life around. The principal said I made his week with that email.

And so we complain because we want the good influences, and we don't want the soul-crushing bad coaches and teachers. We truly want the best for our DDs. That is why we put in so much time and energy for each and every kid. Because they only have one life, and we want them to have the best one possible.

And it is worth it. Studies have shown that having a good relationship between father and daughter is one of the most important, perhaps THE most important, thing in a girl's growing up.

I agree with all of this. There are also a lot of studies which show that parents nowadays spend a lot more time with their kids then our parents did and our parents spent more time with us then theirs did with them. Does that make those generations worse parents? Not sure. There is a fine line, one which is difficult to decipher, between doing too much for your kids and not enough. Intervening in situations which involve physical and mental abuse from teachers,coaches, etc. are easily placed on one side of that line. Intervening in a situation where you don't think your kid is getting enough playing time on a softball field may be on the other side of that line.

As an example, this weekend my DD's coach screamed at my DD twice because she went to backhand a ball which she could have probably got in front of. He gets on her all the time for this. I didn't see much of her games this weekend but I did see this and I also saw start to tear up when he screamed at her. Thing is I have told my DD that as a MI you need to develop your backhand and now is the time to do it. There was nothing wrong with backhanding that ball but if she is going to backhand it she has to make the play. I was this close to going over to the coach during the game but I held my tongue. After the game when we eating out as a family I talked her about it. I told her that he wasn't right to scream at you and that you know from what I have taught you that it was the right play to make and you just have to make the play. If he wants to scream let him, you know what you need to do and what is the right way to do it. Next game same ball she makes the backhanded play, he doesn't say anything about it. Should I have said something during the game, or perhaps more appropriately, afterwards? I don't know. Thing is he is only hurting his team by doing this as girls are either going to be more tentative out there (which he gets on them for) or tune him out eventually. If I do say something eventually, that would be what I will say..we'll see.
 
Last edited:

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
The JJSqueeze Rule should be stickied....

If you are thinking about changing teams enough to post about it, then change teams to find out if the crazy comes with you (and you are probably the problem) or stays behind (it was probably them).


Also:

If you post about something looking for justification for a decision you have already made or just general agreement on your point of view and how right you are then this might not be the right forum for you.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I learn from others' mistakes as well as getting good advice from those with older girls. I enjoy the venting.
 

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