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Travel Ball Team dilemma
- Thread starter nbjohnson
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- Nov 29, 2009
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That did not sound familiar. I went on the USA web site found nothing listed in Kansas City for A, B or Regional championships.
https://www.teamusa.org/USA-Softball/Play-USA-Softball/National-Championships-and-Qualifiers/2018-USA-Softball-National-Championships
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,975
- 83
OK... Going to play Devil's Advocate here. Take a moment and listen to what is said, not how it is delivered. Does he berate players on a personal level IE: "You're lazy. You stink. I don't know why I have you on this team." type of yelling. Or is it more like "That was not your best effort. You know better than to do what you did on that play. Did you not listen to the catcher when she yelled out the situation?" That type of stuff.
My DD played four years for a coach who everyone thought was an A$$hole. He put a player on the first Olympic Team, had a WCWS MVP and many very successful players in college at all levels. He pitched men's fastpitch and never had a DD on any team he coached back to the late 70's. One of the other things people did not like about him is he told them the way it was. He never sugar coated it and there was no filter. You got the raw thoughts when you asked him a question about a player or softball.
He was loud and VERY direct with the players about their play. And it always came with correction. There was very little positive interaction. Success was expected. He never attacked them on a personal level. He would pull players for missed signs in the middle of an at bat. If a pitcher walked two hitters back to back a new one was trotted out. Pull a bonehead play on the field and they were pulled out of the game. The players all understood it was about performance. There were never any tears. They always got back into another game. Once it was over, it was over and not mentioned again.
DD played her last year of 18U for a similar type of coach with a very similar resume. Again, people only heard the volume, not the words. And again, it was always directed at the play and performance on the field, never at the player personally.
By the time my DD got to college there was nothing a coach, teammate, fan or an opposing player could say or do to her that would rattle her. She'd seen and heard it all before. The only time I remember seeing my DD cry was her senior year in college when she pitched her team to the "IF" game during the conference tournament and wasn't able to win. She had run out of gas and was physically unable to continue.
- Jun 29, 2013
- 589
- 18
Just one man's opinion, but run, don't walk away, run. Dealing with an Ahole coach who is responsible for your scholarship (maybe one day we'll say paycheck) is one thing, paying the Ahole coach who praises the worst teammate on the field at other player's expense isn't worth it. Even if this is the only team in your area, I'd get out as soon as I could.
Realy appreciate all of the responses, it is apparent that there is not a clear cut answer. My DW and i go back and forth quite a bit but agree to stick it out until the fall and reevaluate. Hopefully something changes for the better.
I would add two things;
1). Age seems to be large factor. Being 12 makes it challenging for her to understand her emotions and the bigger picture. Her emotional intelligence at this age simply leads her to just react rather than to contemplate, understand, and adjust her reaction accordingly. I feel if she was older/more mature she should be able to understand and handle the situation better.
2). There seems to be some scrutiny over the caliber of her team and understandibly so. If this was a middle of the road team, the decision would be a no brainer. We are from california and achieved the berth to kansas city by winning a qualifing tournament and have been invited to large tournaments in michigan and south carolina. If this sounds like nothing special, please chime in, no hurt feelings here.
I would add two things;
1). Age seems to be large factor. Being 12 makes it challenging for her to understand her emotions and the bigger picture. Her emotional intelligence at this age simply leads her to just react rather than to contemplate, understand, and adjust her reaction accordingly. I feel if she was older/more mature she should be able to understand and handle the situation better.
2). There seems to be some scrutiny over the caliber of her team and understandibly so. If this was a middle of the road team, the decision would be a no brainer. We are from california and achieved the berth to kansas city by winning a qualifing tournament and have been invited to large tournaments in michigan and south carolina. If this sounds like nothing special, please chime in, no hurt feelings here.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha... Yeah... that is what happens. Sure.... Teenagers are well known for handling things without emotion and reactions... --Sarcasm off---
Truthfully - maybe. I know some nice level headed teenagers but relying on what may be going on in a teenagers head. Well good luck with that
The thinking is that if you are in California, then there are plenty of big national tournaments in California so why go half way across the country to play one? It just seems unusual. The USA Elite in Kansas City is a fantastic event with lots of great teams but you also have PGF Nationals in your state which is where I would expect to see all the really good west coast teams in all age groups. I am sure your team is very good for 12U - qualifying for USA Elite is awesome - but then how good you are in 12U really doesn't matter long term. And in California there are LOTS of teams that are of his level so while they might not be close to you - unless you live out in the middle of nowhere I am sure there are some other options that would work.
Lastly - and I will be honest here - what is the 'bigger picture'? If you are thinking 'softball scholarship' at 12U is that YOUR goal or is it hers? She may tell you it is her goal because you are her parent, but there are very few 12 year olds who really understand what that is all about. Locally we had a team a few years ago that over 12U/14U won 2 ASA Nationals. 4 years on and only 3 of those girls still play - 2 are still awesome, 1 is clearly being forced to her parents.... The rest - 10 other really talented players - all gone from the sport. All burnt out by their coaches and parents.
