Dilemma - "injured" player actually picking up with another team

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Jul 29, 2016
231
43
My daughter picked up at a tournament this weekend. We kept it quiet because her "regular" coach doesn't like the girls to play pickup. She had a few things she needed to work on, so we pulled the trigger and let her pick up. She had a good time, and we're glad we did it.

But here's the dilemma: her regular team has a relatively new player - she pitches, but she hasn't been to the last couple of tournaments because she's hurt. I saw her dad milling around at the tournament, but I didn't think much of it - so many people have more than one daughter. But on Sunday morning, my daughter's team takes the field, and there's the "injured" player on the mound, starting the game. She pitched well, and there wasn't a hint of an injury. My daughter left the pickup tournament in time to get to her regular team's Sunday afternoon practice, and the injured player isn't there, and the coach said "X is still injured."

I'm curious as to what all of you think about this. What should we do (if anything) and why?
 
Apr 24, 2017
203
28
Georgia
Ugh. What a sticky spot you are in.

Are you close to the coach? Have plans to stay with him? Do you think the "injured" player is looking for a new team? If the answer to those questions are "Yes", then I say you tell him what YOU were doing there and what you saw. But you can't tell him what you saw with the other player without outing yourself. Maybe it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission. No pick-up allowed on our team either. The WHY here is the coach may need to have a talk with the parents to see if their DD is happy with the team or if he needs to be looking for another pitcher. That can be tough this time of year and the rest of the team (and your DD) will suffer if she suddenly disappears.

Plus, this parent is a liar. That irks me. But that is another story :)
 
Nov 25, 2012
1,437
83
USA
My advice would be to say nothing....... Just move on and look at it as you accomplished what you needed for your DD. Things always play themselves out eventually.
 
Jul 29, 2016
231
43
I've known of cases where girls have been tossed from a team for that sort of thing. So if you tell the HC, you are risking that girl getting tossed. You may be risking getting your own DD tossed, or at least benched.

Honestly, I'm not very worried about this. My daughter is the #1 catcher, and he just doesn't have the personnel to bench her more than a game or two. Also, we'd leave if she ended up not getting time on the field which would probably result in the team imploding. Having said that, I have no problems telling the coach we picked up if he asks.

Are you close to the coach? Have plans to stay with him? Do you think the "injured" player is looking for a new team? If the answer to those questions are "Yes", then I say you tell him what YOU were doing there and what you saw. But you can't tell him what you saw with the other player without outing yourself. Maybe it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission. No pick-up allowed on our team either. The WHY here is the coach may need to have a talk with the parents to see if their DD is happy with the team or if he needs to be looking for another pitcher. That can be tough this time of year and the rest of the team (and your DD) will suffer if she suddenly disappears.)

I'm not close to him, but he's a solid guy and a good coach. The team is shaky with its pitching, and we need all of the pitchers we can get. I think there may be a little cognitive dissonance going on with our coach because he know we need girls in the circle who can eat up innings. I'm leaning toward telling him. Daughter is friends with one of the assistant coach's girls, and she knows, so the problem might solve itself.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
If you have to hide your DD playing from your current coach then you have a much bigger issue you need to address with your current team than some other player.

The softball world is small. Both your DD playing and Player X playing will get back to everyone. I am surprised it already hasn't.
 
Jul 29, 2016
231
43
If you have to hide your DD playing from your current coach then you have a much bigger issue you need to address with your current team than some other player.

To be clear, there wasn't any active "hiding." I strongly suspected that our current coach would demur if I asked his permission to let my daughter pick up, so I just didn't ask. I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission. We made our decision understanding that it was likely to get back to our coach. My dilemma is whether to out the other player. I think playing pickup with another team is a minor transgression. Lying about an injury and then playing pickup is a much bigger deal in my book.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
To be clear, there wasn't any active "hiding." I strongly suspected that our current coach would demur if I asked his permission to let my daughter pick up, so I just didn't ask. I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission. We made our decision understanding that it was likely to get back to our coach. My dilemma is whether to out the other player. I think playing pickup with another team is a minor transgression. Lying about an injury and then playing pickup is a much bigger deal in my book.

Yeah.. this is probably not going to end well at some point. He doesn't want you picking up (which is stupid but that is how he is) and you know that the team can't do without your DD. So if he calls you on it he can't enforce it and you will walk if he tries to. That is not a healthy situation no matter how you look at it. Seen that situation way too many times to not know how that ends.

Back to the other player. You don't need to out them - the softball world will take care of that for you. Unless you like being in the middle of drama, I'd keep out of it. It is going to be messy one way or another. I suspect coach is going to be getting a call from Player X's parents saying that she has decided to play for someone else.
 
Apr 16, 2013
1,113
83
I agree with those that said leave it be. You don't need the drama. I'm honestly surprised the father would do that with his kid, knowing that someone there would see her and know she plays for team xyz. It will get back to the coach one way or another. Instead of tossing and turning on it, just let it go and forget about it.
 
Jan 28, 2017
1,662
83
She may have been injured for awhile and dad didn't want her to practice after playing. He may have told the coach for all we know. It wouldn't surprise me if the coach knew where she was and just told everyone she was still injured because he needs pitchers. The coach will find out soon enough.
 

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