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Thread: High School Coaches

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    I can talk softball all day Phandle's Avatar
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    Default High School Coaches

    What are your thoughts on High school coach talking negatively about one of the players to some third party?

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    I can talk softball all day Comocoach's Avatar
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    I think it would depend on what was said and what was it in response to.



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    I eat, sleep and breathe softball quincy's Avatar
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    Act it self is OK, that you know about it is a problem.

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    Certified softball maniac obbay's Avatar
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    Coaches are human, but need to be careful what they say about their players and Who they say What to.

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    Certified softball maniac Sparky Guy's Avatar
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    It depends on the context of the conversation. Was it about a player's abilities? Was it about her attitude, parents, or looks? Not enough information to give an informed opinion.

    I know it happens. I've heard it, and the coach was right.
    WOC: "Only the names change."

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    I can talk softball all day murphdog's Avatar
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    Who was the coach talking to? Was it in a public place? How did other people find out about it?

    If the coach was at home talking to their spouse it’s not really any different than talking about a coworker.
    Was it in a public place and someone overheard? That’s a whole different story.

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    Certified softball maniac FP26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phandle View Post
    What are your thoughts on High school coach talking negatively about one of the players to some third party?
    It would definitely depend on what the comments actually were and to whom. Coaches need to be careful with what they say and when. There is a big difference between "Suzie seems to be struggling this year, hopefully she pulls out of it" and "Suzie sucks and shouldn't even be playing softball".

    But I'm often baffled by how many players and parents (mostly parents) openly speak negatively about their coaches and don't seem concerned about it at all. It's almost as if we expect one thing out of coaches but don't think we as parents need to follow the same rules.
    "Once you stop learning, you start dying" -- Albert Einstein.

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    Certified softball maniac BobInMadison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FP26 View Post
    It would definitely depend on what the comments actually were and to whom. Coaches need to be careful with what they say and when. There is a big difference between "Suzie seems to be struggling this year, hopefully she pulls out of it" and "Suzie sucks and shouldn't even be playing softball".

    But I'm often baffled by how many players and parents (mostly parents) openly speak negatively about their coaches and don't seem concerned about it at all. It's almost as if we expect one thing out of coaches but don't think we as parents need to follow the same rules.
    The rules ARE different.

    The HS coach is being paid to coach the team. The HC is being paid to run the program. The parents are, through taxes and fees, paying a portion of the coach's salaries.

    Also, a coach is supposedly responsible for keeping the team together, and keeping the team as a cohesive unit. We all know there are plenty of HS coaches who play favorites. That can hurt the morale of the team. If the coach is openly talking crap about players, that will certainly cause divisions within the team. Meaning the HS coach is doing things that make his/her job more difficult.

    If a player is making the coach's life miserable, the coach has certain avenues to attack the issue, such as benching the player or not putting that player on varsity, etc. Publicly talking crap about the player is overkill.

    If the coach is making the player's life miserable, we are talking about someone with a lot of power going against someone with no power. In that sort of situation, it may not only be permissible, but even proper, for the parents to bad mouth the coach. What recourse does the player or the parent have? Go to the AD who may not care? Also, there is always the possibility that going to the AD might lead to retaliation. For example, my DD 3 doesn't want me to tell the AD what I think about the HC at her HS, because my DD 3 might want to try out next year, and doesn't want the relationship permanently poisoned.

    I will be completely honest. If I thought I could write a letter to the AD and get the HC for my local HS fired, I would do so. However, I really don't think one letter would do any good. The parent of another girl whose experience was even worse than my DD 3 wants me to write a letter to the AD, hoping that if many parents do so, the coach might get fired. But I am just one of many parents in that school. Other parents don't want to rock the boat, and I completely understand.

    Sometimes parents need to vent, somehow. The coaches can vent among themselves, behind closed doors. To do so in public is a betrayal of the job for which they are paid.

    When the parents complain about the coach, we are hoping that the HS program can be improved, somehow. Often the complaining among parents is a way to figure out how to convince the coach to do what is best for the team, or how to convince the AD to do what is best for the team.

    Other times, it is just venting, which may or may not be appropriate. But it is NOT a betrayal of a paid job.

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    Checking out the clubhouse CoachJB55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BobInMadison View Post
    When the parents complain about the coach, we are hoping that the HS program can be improved, somehow. Often the complaining among parents is a way to figure out how to convince the coach to do what is best for the team, or how to convince the AD to do what is best for the team.
    First off, let me say that I agree with you, that a coach should not publicly talk about his/her players or team in a negative manner, no matter the audience.

    I have seen numerous times in my career that the parents that complain, most of the time, could care less how the HS program can be improved, and they are more worried with how their daughters situation can be improved. I had a previous team that hadn't made the playoffs in 4 years, and hadn't won a playoff series in 6 years, but my first year there, we make the playoffs, and get an upset and win the first round of the playoffs for the first time in 6 years, and parents were complaining because their daughters didn't get the playing time they wanted, even though throughout the season they were given numerous chances to help the team and just couldn't produce. This is just one example, but in my experience, most of the time parents complain, it is for the improvement of their daughters situation.

    I have even seen times where parents complained, and enough of them complained loud enough where another coach lost his/her job, and then did the same when the new coach arrived. Sometimes, its not the coaches......(although, sometimes I agree, it is).

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    Certified softball maniac FP26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BobInMadison View Post
    The rules ARE different.

    The HS coach is being paid to coach the team. The HC is being paid to run the program. The parents are, through taxes and fees, paying a portion of the coach's salaries.

    Also, a coach is supposedly responsible for keeping the team together, and keeping the team as a cohesive unit. We all know there are plenty of HS coaches who play favorites. That can hurt the morale of the team. If the coach is openly talking crap about players, that will certainly cause divisions within the team. Meaning the HS coach is doing things that make his/her job more difficult.

    If a player is making the coach's life miserable, the coach has certain avenues to attack the issue, such as benching the player or not putting that player on varsity, etc. Publicly talking crap about the player is overkill.

    If the coach is making the player's life miserable, we are talking about someone with a lot of power going against someone with no power. In that sort of situation, it may not only be permissible, but even proper, for the parents to bad mouth the coach. What recourse does the player or the parent have? Go to the AD who may not care? Also, there is always the possibility that going to the AD might lead to retaliation. For example, my DD 3 doesn't want me to tell the AD what I think about the HC at her HS, because my DD 3 might want to try out next year, and doesn't want the relationship permanently poisoned.

    I will be completely honest. If I thought I could write a letter to the AD and get the HC for my local HS fired, I would do so. However, I really don't think one letter would do any good. The parent of another girl whose experience was even worse than my DD 3 wants me to write a letter to the AD, hoping that if many parents do so, the coach might get fired. But I am just one of many parents in that school. Other parents don't want to rock the boat, and I completely understand.

    Sometimes parents need to vent, somehow. The coaches can vent among themselves, behind closed doors. To do so in public is a betrayal of the job for which they are paid.

    When the parents complain about the coach, we are hoping that the HS program can be improved, somehow. Often the complaining among parents is a way to figure out how to convince the coach to do what is best for the team, or how to convince the AD to do what is best for the team.

    Other times, it is just venting, which may or may not be appropriate. But it is NOT a betrayal of a paid job.
    If there are legitimate issues, then something needs to be done. I'm not saying otherwise. But if it is nothing but nonsense, then it doesn't matter if it is created by the coach or a parent. Nonsense is nonsense. Wrong is wrong. Just because one is a coach and one is a parent doesn't mean that one person needs to act professionally and the other doesn't. In my experience with high school sports at DD's school, 95% of the complaints and venting that I hear is nothing but nonsense. I have heard very few complaints that have any validity whatsoever. I'm sure they exist at other schools, and I am not attempting to minimize that. The issues between your DD and her coach could very well be valid. That is unfortunate and I really hope things work out for her.

    Added: I am not saying that DD's high school program is perfect. Far from it. But the coaches care and do what they can to help the players. Are they great coaches? No. Far from it. But they do what they can. In our particular case the drama is caused by a handful a players and parents involved with the program. Our unhappiness with the high school experience is a result of those people, not the coaches.
    "Once you stop learning, you start dying" -- Albert Einstein.

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