What are your thoughts on High school coach talking negatively about one of the players to some third party?
When the parents complain about the coach, we are hoping that the HS program can be improved, somehow. Often the complaining among parents is a way to figure out how to convince the coach to do what is best for the team, or how to convince the AD to do what is best for the team.
The rules ARE different.
The HS coach is being paid to coach the team. The HC is being paid to run the program. The parents are, through taxes and fees, paying a portion of the coach's salaries.
Also, a coach is supposedly responsible for keeping the team together, and keeping the team as a cohesive unit. We all know there are plenty of HS coaches who play favorites. That can hurt the morale of the team. If the coach is openly talking crap about players, that will certainly cause divisions within the team. Meaning the HS coach is doing things that make his/her job more difficult.
If a player is making the coach's life miserable, the coach has certain avenues to attack the issue, such as benching the player or not putting that player on varsity, etc. Publicly talking crap about the player is overkill.
If the coach is making the player's life miserable, we are talking about someone with a lot of power going against someone with no power. In that sort of situation, it may not only be permissible, but even proper, for the parents to bad mouth the coach. What recourse does the player or the parent have? Go to the AD who may not care? Also, there is always the possibility that going to the AD might lead to retaliation. For example, my DD 3 doesn't want me to tell the AD what I think about the HC at her HS, because my DD 3 might want to try out next year, and doesn't want the relationship permanently poisoned.
I will be completely honest. If I thought I could write a letter to the AD and get the HC for my local HS fired, I would do so. However, I really don't think one letter would do any good. The parent of another girl whose experience was even worse than my DD 3 wants me to write a letter to the AD, hoping that if many parents do so, the coach might get fired. But I am just one of many parents in that school. Other parents don't want to rock the boat, and I completely understand.
Sometimes parents need to vent, somehow. The coaches can vent among themselves, behind closed doors. To do so in public is a betrayal of the job for which they are paid.
When the parents complain about the coach, we are hoping that the HS program can be improved, somehow. Often the complaining among parents is a way to figure out how to convince the coach to do what is best for the team, or how to convince the AD to do what is best for the team.
Other times, it is just venting, which may or may not be appropriate. But it is NOT a betrayal of a paid job.