High School Coaches

Phandle said:

What are your thoughts on High school coach talking negatively about one of the players to some third party?

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Not sure if you can get much more vague than this.

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Phandle said:

What are your thoughts on High school coach talking negatively about one of the players to some third party?

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My thought is that unless the coach is a moron, he probably thought he was speaking privately with a confidant and
in this case the coach needs to find more trustworthy people to have private discussions with..

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Having just had a horrible experience with a HC, I can say that it will make a kid's experience on the team extremely bad. My DD came home crying from practice multiple times.

I would say to the OP though, that the question is very vague. I have no problem with a HC discussing players with other coaches. I would have not problem with a HC discussing a player with a HC from another program if they was looking for advice on how to deal with a situation, looking to benefit the player and team, something along those lines. But, if the conversation was derogatory at all, then there is an issue.

I can think of a bunch of situations where this is no big deal and a bunch where this would be really bad.

Way too vague, and I don't think there's an absolute here.

BobInMadison said:

I am not saying that a parent badmouthing a coach is always a good thing. It is often very bad.

What I am saying is the rules for a coach are different than the rules for a parent. The coach is the paid professional, and the coach USUALLY has the power. The coach can punish a complaining player, or the DD of a complaining parent, by cutting or benching the player. It happens all the time. Very few parents have the power to knock a coach off a team. EVERY coach has the power to knock just about any player off the team the coach wants to, for reasons fair or foul.

There are things a parent can get away with that should get a coach fired. I'm not saying it's fair. That's just the way things are.

I hope most of the other parents can tell the difference between a parent with a legitimate beef vs. a parent who doesn't have a beef.

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Just to be clear. I do not condone any unprofessional actions from a coach. Never have. Never will. I just think parents should also act with a certain amount of respect and courtesy. I have coached various sports for 12 years at this point. I was asked to be the HS head coach when the position became available 4 years ago (I know some people on the school board, and they approached me about the position. I did not apply for it), but turned it down due to my work schedule. Reluctantly I agreed to be an assistant for 2 years, but have since stepped away from that (again, due to my work schedule). DD is a senior, so I am still at the games. What I can tell you from my experience at DD's school is that the coaches treat the players with respect. Some of the parents are absolute jerks and the way they treat the coaches and talk about the coaches is appalling to me. In my opinion, the way that some of these parents act should not be expected from any adult, period. I realize that the title of "coach" holds certain responsibilities with it. I'm fine with that. but I also believe the title of "adult" holds a certain level of responsibility as well.

Disclaimer: I do realize that some coaches do not act professional all the time. And again, I do not condone that. If a coach does something out of line, there should be consequences.

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BobInMadison said:

Fair points.

I'm just stating reality. The coach and the parents are NOT in an equal position, and the same rules don't apply.

In a perfect world, all coaches would do their best for the team and act professionally at all times.
In a perfect world, the parents would behave properly.

Fact is, the coaches can get away with some things parents can't, such as benching or cutting a girl just because the coach feels like it.
Fact is, parents can get away with stuff that would get a coach fired, assuming the AD actually cares.

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I think we are on the same page. The bold above is what I have an issue with. As an assistant coach, I was "paid" for my time with the team. But honestly, at less than $3/hour, the pay wasn't a factor. I coached because I enjoyed working with the players and helping out however I could. I didn't do it because of the money.

Coaches can get away with not playing their best players only if they are not held accountable for their results, that is on the AD. As an aside, coaches nowadays probably get away with a lot less than
they used to. My HS basketball coach used to chuck basketballs at our heads if we didn't do what he wanted. His HS coach, who was my father's HS baseball and basketball coach, used to do a lot worse apparently. They were also
very successful but even still I cannot see that happening in today's world (and rightly so).