DD feeling discouraged

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Apr 26, 2015
704
43
DD joined a new team back in July. It has seriously been the absolute best move she could have made. The coaches are amazing, the girls are wonderful and the parents and great. The environment on this team is completely opposite from her last team. I almost feel like it's too good to be true! LOL! This coach has only had 3 girls leave his 2 teams in the 5 years he has been coaching - so for DD to get a spot on his team was a pretty big feat.

HC is so supportive of DD - she is the first slapper he has had that he claims he is learning from. DD has gotten pretty good at telling him where she wants to place the ball and then she can follow thru. She can bunt, slap and hit away. She has the highest on base percentage of any player on either team. So offensively she is doing good. He has even asked her to play up with his older team a couple of times.

However, for some reason she is acting hesitant on the bases. She used to be a very aggressive baserunner, but this year she is holding back. Defensively she has started to discover what she wasn't taught over the past 4 years. She is so discouraged and feels like she fell behind especially over the past 2 years. Her old coach was a nice guy, but not a good teacher and not a great coach. He ran the exact same practice for the last 2 years. I could have run it! She said in the first 6 practices with her new team she learned more than she had over the past 2 years.

Obviously since DD is the new player on the team the rest of the girls know some things DD doesn't. Over the past 4 years she was the primary catcher for her team, playing OF when not catching. On the new team her primary is OF and secondary is catching. She is a quick, little lefty so OF is a great place for her. She is having problems knowing exactly how to track a fast ground ball, and then knowing where to throw. She is also struggling with all the different bunt plays (whether playing catcher or OF). I told her she just needs to ask to talk to the coach. Sometimes because she hangs with the rest of the team I think he forgets that she doesn't know all his plays. I know he would respect her if she came to talk to him - he is very kind and patient. She is just such a perfectionist and I think she is afraid of showing weakness...ugh. She was almost in tears last night after practice.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
Is she doing private catching lessons? They can work on the situational knowledge during those. There are private coaches for base running and outfield too. Or maybe seek out a clinic. You didn't mention age; how old is she? I think that most coaches would prefer her to be aggressive with base running and get out from time to time than to fail to take advantage of potential steals.
 
Oct 1, 2014
2,218
113
USA
K - you guys have a great team, great players and great coaches and you will be playing a lot of games and going deep in many tourneys I am sure! Seems like you already have the answer to this issue...have her talk to the coach and ask for some extra time/help. The rest of the players on the team didn't get there without coaching and practicing those aspects of the game and the Coach would probably welcome the chance to reinforce those skills for everyone. Good luck this year!
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
It is WAY better to talk to the coach about her struggles, and ask for help, than it is to continue making mistakes in games because she doesn't yet understand the plays the team uses. If she's a valuable hitter, she's an asset to the team. Coaches tend to want players who are valuable on both sides of the ball, and will help them get there.
 
Apr 26, 2015
704
43
What’s really crazy is - from - yes a parent’s - perspective...but trying to be objective here. She is really good. The pitchers on this team all want her to catch - both the younger team coaches and older team coaches ask her to show how to block when catching. She just has a knack for it. She can track a fly ball really well and always seems to know where to throw back in. I think she is nit picking and doubting herself. She is a perfectionist in everything she does and it’s hard for her to make a mistake.

I have reminded her that when other girls on the team have gotten out by being aggressive the coach never yells at them. I told her he would much rather have her get thrown out while being aggressive than watch her be conservative. She is definitely in the top 9 on this team as well. She works hard in and out of practice. And she rarely sits. I think she went from being *the* best on a team to being *one* of the best and it is uncharted territory.

I just found it interesting that she all of a sudden has realized what was missing the past couple of years.

We are looking to find some fielding coaching - just to give her some confidence. She has a catching coach that she can work with from time to time and we should probably find some more time...


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jjr

Jun 13, 2017
69
8
What’s really crazy is - from - yes a parent’s - perspective...but trying to be objective here. She is really good. The pitchers on this team all want her to catch - both the younger team coaches and older team coaches ask her to show how to block when catching. She just has a knack for it. She can track a fly ball really well and always seems to know where to throw back in. I think she is nit picking and doubting herself. She is a perfectionist in everything she does and it’s hard for her to make a mistake.

I have reminded her that when other girls on the team have gotten out by being aggressive the coach never yells at them. I told her he would much rather have her get thrown out while being aggressive than watch her be conservative. She is definitely in the top 9 on this team as well. She works hard in and out of practice. And she rarely sits. I think she went from being *the* best on a team to being *one* of the best and it is uncharted territory.

I just found it interesting that she all of a sudden has realized what was missing the past couple of years.

We are looking to find some fielding coaching - just to give her some confidence. She has a catching coach that she can work with from time to time and we should probably find some more time...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Was that an issue with her previous coach?

When we left our last team, that was one of the bigger reasons why we left. Then on her current team, she was hesitant with a couple things until I sat her down and asked her what was up. She finally told me that she was afraid her coach was going to yell at her for messing up. I then proceeded to tell her about the errors she made both base running AND fielding and how he hadn't yelled at her yet about any of those. It took a few more tournaments for her to realize what I was saying about her coach was true. That's when she came out of her proverbial shell and started showing him what she could really do. So it may take her a few more tournaments until she realizes what you are telling her is true.
 
Last edited:
Apr 26, 2015
704
43
Was that an issue with her previous coach?

Her old coach is not very "softball smart". At all. Which is becoming clearer by the day since joining this new team.

But yes - he would yell at the girls if they got thrown out while being aggressive and yelled at them if they were conservative because "they should have been on 3rd". The other thing about base running that she has realized is...her old coaches DRILLED the girls that they were not to watch the ball and watch the coaches ONLY for signs to run or stop. Her new coaching staff is all about the girls knowing where the ball is at all times and only using the coaches as a secondary source for knowing when to run and when to stop. This makes so much more sense...but her instinct is to look at the coaches. After all...she has only been coached by one coach for the past 4 years.

I think sometimes the coach just forgets that DD is new - she fits in perfectly and is very coachable. I know it is on her to talk to him...she is 14U and will be starting HS in the fall (and SB is a fall sport here) and I feel like this is a good opportunity for her to advocate for herself. Her HS softball coach has a reputation as being MEAN - so she might as well start with her kind TB coach!
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
I will tell you this from a coaches perspective. I tell all of my players to ask questions if they are not completely sure about something. I make sure they know I will not yell at them for not understanding something. I let them know it is MUCH easier to answer a question, even if they think it's stupid, than to try and fix a mistake in a game. I make sure they know I want them to try different things in practice and make the mistakes there so we can figure what is right and wrong then work on the fix. It's part of the learning process. It does not come overnight.

One of the things I'll do at the first team practice is stand in front of the girls and speak gibberish. I'll make gestures and point at them. Then act like I'm asking one of them a question. Then I'll ask them if they understood anything I just said? All of them will say "NO." Then I'll tell them if you don't understand something ask a question, because if you don't understand chances are someone else doesn't.
 

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