HELP! - Daughter progressing, but her team SUCKS.

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Jul 29, 2016
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My daughter is a 14U catcher. Her team blew up last summer, and we were left scrambling to find a team. She played pickup with several teams toward the end of last summer, and went through try-outs late 2017.

As luck would have it, she was close, but not quite ready to land on one of the "big" A-level teams in our area (there are 4 or 5). She ended up on an A-level team with an established organization, but they were clearly restructuring. They have a fair amount of talent, but it certainly isn't consistent from position-to-position. Further, the team was pretty much brand new, with maybe three of the girls knowing each other - so they had never played together. You can certainly tell by watching them together on the field.

The coaching is outstanding, though. We have seen our daughter make remarkable steps in the four months she's been working with this team. Part of the problem, though, is that the pitching is so bad that she had gotten really really good at blocking. Not all of the players have blossomed with the coaching, however.

But in our three tournaments we've played since we formed the team, we've averaged one win per tourney. And it boils down to bone-headed plays in the field and base-running. The pitching is inconsistent, and we don't have an ace.

So after three tournaments, our daughter is starting to get discouraged with all of the losing. She understands that playing is going to make her better, but no one likes to lose all the time. My concern at this point is it will be increasingly difficult for her to get noticed by coaches or better teams simply because no one likes to watch a sloppy game. On the plus side, she's the primary catcher, and gets lots of playing time.

My loyalty runs primarily to my daughter, but I like and respect the coach. I'm concerned about the prospect of a season wasted on four and five-game outings with loss after loss. Should we start shopping with a view toward pulling up stakes? I'd be interested to hear advice on this subject.
 

WARRIORMIKE

Pro-Staff Everything
Oct 5, 2009
2,815
48
At the Jewel in San Diego
You gotta do whats best for your dd. IF shes not getting better then best to find another team that will get her better. However if she is getting a lot of playtime on a lower level team and she getting the work in, then maybe its a good thing for her development towards the sports. We have been in your shoes a few times before. Its never easy.
 
Oct 3, 2009
372
18
So just to make sure I have this right. Your DD found an 'A' level team where the coaching is "outstanding" and she has made "remarkable steps in the four months she's been working with this team". In addition she is the primary catcher and gets most of the playing time.

But despite all that she is ready to quit on this new team after only three (3??) tournaments together?
 
Last edited:
Jul 29, 2016
231
43
So just to make sure I have this right. Your DD found an 'A' level team where the coaching is "outstanding" and she has made "remarkable steps in the four months she's been working with this team". In addition she is the primary catcher and gets most of the playing time.

But despite all that she is ready to quit on the team after three (3??) tournaments?
[MENTION=1407]AndyS[/MENTION], your summary mischaracterizes my post and my underlying concerns.

I said she was getting discourage, not "ready to quit the team." We like the team, like the coaches, and like the parents, but having been through one team implosion, we see the warning signs for this team. They are playing in A-level tournaments, but they are not performing like an A-level team. If they lose a pitcher, the whole thing will fall apart. I suspect the disappointment my daughter is feeling might be more pronounced in a player (or two or three) who doesn't get the playing time that my daughter gets. 14 year old girls are a fickle lot.
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
Maybe the problem is, this isn't an A level team and they are playing in A level tourneys.

The coaches should start putting them in tournaments they belong in.
 
Jul 29, 2016
231
43
Maybe the problem is, this isn't an A level team and they are playing in A level tourneys.

The coaches should start putting them in tournaments they belong in.

I don't think that's the problem. From what I've seen, they would probably kill it in a B-level. The coach clearly thinks that losing against solid competition is better than winning against weak competition.
 
Apr 16, 2013
1,113
83
If it's a new team then a lot of it could just be getting all the pieces to fit and start working well. The girls haven't started meshing yet. The coaches and the girls have to figure it all out. Once those pieces start to fall in place, the wins will come. You've got to be honest about all the girls' abilities though. Just gotta remember that old saying, "The grass isn't always greener..." If you and your DD like the team and she's growing as a player, then stick it out. I've seen those teams, LOTS of times, pick up one or two players after another team falls apart. Then, they become a serious team. If your team falls apart, well, your DD now has some skills to go to a much better team.
 
Feb 4, 2015
641
28
Massachusetts
I don't think that's the problem. From what I've seen, they would probably kill it in a B-level. The coach clearly thinks that losing against solid competition is better than winning against weak competition.

I would agree with the coach.

Regarding your post, what is your DD's goal? If she's 14U, she'll be playing show case in the fall, or the year after at the very least. My goal would be to prepare my DD to get on the best showcase team she can so she can get on the best fields in showcases and get noticed by college coaches. That said, if she's getting great coaching and making big improvements, that will go a lot farther than 4-5 14U trophies.

If her team implodes, and this is an established organization, and she's a hard worker; they're likely to reward her loyalty by getting her on another team within the org. Orgs hate to lose great kids.
 
Oct 3, 2009
372
18
[MENTION=1407]AndyS[/MENTION], your summary mischaracterizes my post and my underlying concerns.

I said she was getting discourage, not "ready to quit the team." We like the team, like the coaches, and like the parents, but having been through one team implosion, we see the warning signs for this team. They are playing in A-level tournaments, but they are not performing like an A-level team. If they lose a pitcher, the whole thing will fall apart. I suspect the disappointment my daughter is feeling might be more pronounced in a player (or two or three) who doesn't get the playing time that my daughter gets. 14 year old girls are a fickle lot.

Ok so maybe I misunderstood this: "Should we start shopping with a view toward pulling up stakes?"

Nowhere in your original post did I see you give a concern around the team imploding. But that is a fair point especially if you have been through it before. Obviously any newly formed team is at it's most fragile in the beginning but the good news is both you and your DD can help influence the team's cohesion. As the primary catcher she is in a great leadership position. And as the parent of a kid in a leadership position you can influence other parents. If they hear you and others saying how much you love the coaches, how much better your DD is getting, and this is a new team that will inevitably get better with that kind of coaching it can go a long way in keeping a team together. If on the other hand, the parents sense from you that you are looking at "pulling up stakes" or your DD's teammates get that sense from her then it can become self-fulfilling. Just FWIW and my .02...

Andy
 
May 16, 2016
946
93
Part of the problem, though, is that the pitching is so bad that she had gotten really really good at blocking. Not all of the players have blossomed with the coaching, however.

If you don't have A level Pitching, you don't have an A level team. An "Outstanding" coach would recognize this, and schedule you into a competitive tournament. If the team just needs time to jel, then you are better off playing more games going deep (or winning) in a B tournament, then pool games +1 in an A tournament.
 

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