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Sep 29, 2014
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None of these reasons would be grounds for not playing HS, IMO. Like you stated, go play your best. It will work out.

My DD come in to HS having been the starting catcher for a nationally known TB org. The starting catcher position was not laid at her feet when she stepped on campus. Got some time behind the plate in the preseason, played well, but not we’ll enough in the coaches eyes to take a seniors spot. My DD was better defensively, both had an good BA and DD’s was a little higher. It just wasn’t enough to take the spot. DD was upset, but went to work. Got to play some OF which she had never done, played some 2B, DH and eventually got to catch about a fourth of the games her freshman year.

If I would have sat around and griped about the coaches decision, I’m sure it would have influenced her attitude negatively. Instead, I told her to suck it up and give everything you have in practice and assured her it would work out if she worked hard. Sophomore year caught every game on a team that finished second at state tournament. I’m glad I didn’t even think about discussing quitting HS ball because she didn’t get to play her spot as a freshman.

It’s easy to work hard when everything’s going your way, not so easy when they aren’t. Allow kids to build character.
Agreed...I think some parents come to vent on the boards because they are genuinely frustrated and looking for support here. I think it is OK and I think the general response they get from people here is many have been in your shoes and most of the time (barring real emotional abuse) the answer is work hard, contribute however coach needs you and it might take a season or two but the cream will rise to the top.

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Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
It obviously sounds like things are working out...is your DD getting to play half time on the JV squad, behind players that she regularly crushes on the TB circuit? and if she had to wait two years to get the letter jacket and play varsity would you be as excited. I think there are situations where girls/parents have legitimate grips and it's OK to come to these boards and vent a little. I think girls should play because it really is about school and community spirit but there are situations out there were programs don't really value "new" girls coming in...they have a system and a seniority track and you either get on board or get shown the door or the bench...and the answer for me is always play your best and let the rest take care of itself.

Pretty much perfect!
 
Sep 29, 2010
1,082
83
Knoxville, TN
Agreed...I think some parents come to vent on the boards because they are genuinely frustrated and looking for support here. I think it is OK and I think the general response they get from people here is many have been in your shoes and most of the time (barring real emotional abuse) the answer is work hard, contribute however coach needs you and it might take a season or two but the cream will rise to the top.

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I’m just afraid that some of the parents are sharing this frustration around their kids and leading them to quit. Most girls who play love the sport and would never think of quitting without some sort of outside influence.
 
Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
I’m just afraid that some of the parents are sharing this frustration around their kids and leading them to quit. Most girls who play love the sport and would never think of quitting without some sort of outside influence.

I've been around kids a long time and some may be influenced by their parents. But by age 15 most kids can see what's going on around them. We don't give them enough credit for that sometimes.
 
Sep 29, 2010
1,082
83
Knoxville, TN
I've been around kids a long time and some may be influenced by their parents. But by age 15 most kids can see what's going on around them. We don't give them enough credit for that sometimes.
Maybe these 15 year olds aren’t the best ones to be judging their own performance and abilities, their parents in some cases are worse judges. The point is to go work hard in spite of whatever “unfairness” you feel is thrown your way. That is real life and a small dose of it from time to time is actually good for teenagers! Have a conversation with your coach. Find out what you need to do to play. Give it your all and see what happens. Sometimes it’s enoigh and sometimes it’s not.
 
Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
Maybe these 15 year olds aren’t the best ones to be judging their own performance and abilities, their parents in some cases are worse judges. The point is to go work hard in spite of whatever “unfairness” you feel is thrown your way. That is real life and a small dose of it from time to time is actually good for teenagers! Have a conversation with your coach. Find out what you need to do to play. Give it your all and see what happens. Sometimes it’s enoigh and sometimes it’s not.

Those are all great principles and we teach our kids that life ain't always fair. There is however a difference between a kid misjudging their own skill set and some of the blatant issues that have been shared on this board. Someone made a statement last week on one of these threads. They said "People don't like HS softball because if you don't like the team you can't go somewhere else". To that point most people here would never play on a travel team with their HS coach leading the team. What does that say about HS coaches? :)
 
Sep 29, 2010
1,082
83
Knoxville, TN
Those are all great principles and we teach our kids that life ain't always fair. There is however a difference between a kid misjudging their own skill set and some of the blatant issues that have been shared on this board. Someone made a statement last week on one of these threads. They said "People don't like HS softball because if you don't like the team you can't go somewhere else". To that point most people here would never play on a travel team with their HS coach leading the team. What does that say about HS coaches? :)
It says if you don’t like your boss, quit. See how far that gets you in life. Maybe all these kids can work for themselves as adults and never have to deal with politics in the work force or a mean boss. Wouldn’t that be nice.
 

ian

Jun 11, 2015
1,175
48
It says if you don’t like your boss, quit. See how far that gets you in life. Maybe all these kids can work for themselves as adults and never have to deal with politics in the work force or a mean boss. Wouldn’t that be nice.

I think its fine to find another job if your boss sucks. Why would you work for someone who is unnecessarily an AH and incompetent? Find another job. If the boss is sharp and knows his trade yet comes off abrasive thats one thing, I worked 10 years for a man like that and respect him tremendously. If a boss has a D1 5 year full ride commit 3rd baseman but choses to start his uncommitted DD in her place.....
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
I’m just afraid that some of the parents are sharing this frustration around their kids and leading them to quit. Most girls who play love the sport and would never think of quitting without some sort of outside influence.
As mentioned unless the coach is just one of those constantly singling out your DD and yelling for no reason...stick it out and do your best...there will always be cliques within the team, coaches will have their favorites but it's that way with anything in life. You do your best and that's all you can do.

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Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,911
113
Mundelein, IL
The idea that college ball is "softball nirvana" is ridiculous.

There is still a coach who decides who plays and who doesn't. There are still teammates trying to take away playing time. There are still umpires who blow calls. There are "unreasonable" teachers who expect students to come to class. And, there are still psycho parents.

Just had to give a shout out to Sluggers on this post. I've had the same experience, talking to students and going to watch their college games. You sit in the stands near the parents and you'll hear all the same griping about the coaches (or the umpires) as you will at a 12U game. I've even been surprised at some of the stuff that has been shouted from the stands.

You talk to players and you'll hear about coaches having favorites (and non-favorites). Not just them saying it about themselves, but also talking about a teammate who works hard but can't do anything right in the college coach's eyes, or teammates who brown nose their way onto the field.

It doesn't magically go away in college. As long as you're not the parent of one of the players it's an interesting study in humanity.
 

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