FWIW - A little adversity

Take this post for fwiw. I am about to head to Florida to watch DD#1 play a little softball so I am feeling all philosophical and what not. A couple of lessons I have learned.

1) Your DD will have good coaches and those who could use some improvement. The not so good ones let you appreciate the good ones even more. And on the not so good ones maybe ask yourself why you or your DD think they are not so good? Sometimes it turns out those coaches are saying things you may not want to hear but are 100% correct.

2) You will have good teammates and not so good teammates. Figuring out how to lead both is a skillset most adults never acquire so if your 16u left fielder figures it out the hard way good for her!

3) You have to own your performance. My DD pitches and was a perfectionist. Let that wash over you for a second. And then notice I said was? Softball teaches you the circles will have ruts. The kind created by wagons a hundred years ago. Deal with it. The umpires won't call "your" strike zone. Hell I am convinced some do not even have a strike zone. Coaches won't call "your" pitches. Get the outs anyway. Some days your second baseman will more resemble an oak tree that things just bounce off. Deal with it and get the next batter out.

4) And many want their kid to play college softball. That is great. Just realize the adversity and difficulty increases dramatically. If you are trying to shield and protect them from the "injustices" that occur on a routine basis in tb/hs ball, are you really doing them a favor?

Bottom line is softball is hard and yet maybe the most valuable place you can learn a few lessons that don't come naturally in the classroom.

Andy

Andy, this might just be the leading candidate post for "Post of the Year 2018!"

FWIW?

That was worth much more than $.02
Very well said.

AndyS said:

3) You have to own your performance. My DD pitches and was a perfectionist. Let that wash over you for a second. And then notice I said was? Softball teaches you the circles will have ruts. The kind created by wagons a hundred years ago. Deal with it. The umpires won't call "your" strike zone. Hell I am convinced some do not even have a strike zone. Coaches won't call "your" pitches. Get the outs anyway. Some days your second baseman will more resemble an oak tree that things just bounce off. Deal with it and get the next batter out.


Andy

Click to expand...

I have a young daughter that is/was a perfectionist too. "You win some, you lose some" is a very hard lesson for them to learn.

When she was younger she had difficulty in understanding how her stuff and accuracy could be so good one day, and so 'off' on another day. I used to tell her that what makes for a great pitcher is not how well you do when your stuff is working, but how well you can manage when your stuff isn't working. One of my most proud moments was a U12 game that she won 7-6. Nothing worked that day, but she persevered and managed to be just good enough.

I used to tell her that what makes for a great pitcher is not how well you do when your stuff is working, but how well you can manage when your stuff isn't working.

Click to expand...

And some days, she will have her stuff working, and the batters will still beat her.

I’m glad we have this forum which allows folks to vent, but this is not only a great post, but timely as well! Embrace the journey!

AndyS said:

Take this post for fwiw.

Click to expand...

Great post. I'm guessing by your avatar your daughter is in the NCAC? Mine too...a freshman whose journey is just starting. Best of luck this season.

Very good post. I really like the part in #1 about coaches telling you things you don't want to hear. My daughter was an 8u playing on a "10u" team. We had a mix of around 5 8s and 4 9s and a 10. We got beat up on but the girls learned a ton. The next year our coach, who was also president of the org was retiring from coaching because he had cancer, but decided to split the team to get same age teams that could move up together. The new coach, of the girls that were 9, asked me to move my daughter up with them but the president would not allow it, he told me the younger group was going to be special. I wouldn't hear it and was pissed. My daughter was really good friends with several of the girls that were going on the older team, and they were going to be a better team that year. I argued and argued with the president, and was to the point I was going to move to another org but I didn't. Turns out the girls we are with have stuck together as a core for 4 years, even moved to another org together. Fortunately I quickly realized the president was probably right and apologized for my actions, we also became good friends. As we watched my DD team get better and better each year we would laugh about how I almost took her off that team. Amazingly, the girls that moved up are not a bad team and have stuck together as well, but my DD is better. The president/first coach died about a year ago after a long battle with his cancer, he died before we left the org. 2 days before he died my daughter and I went to tell him goodbye for the last time. As he sat in his chair, barely able to breathe, we laughed about how mad I was and how he had been right. He also had a funny story about my daughter he liked to tell, and she had drawn and colored him a picture to commemorate that story. That picture was in his coffin when he was buried. He not only coached my daughter, but taught me a valuable lesson as well.

TMD said:

Great post. I'm guessing by your avatar your daughter is in the NCAC? Mine too...a freshman whose journey is just starting. Best of luck this season.

Click to expand...

Congrats! Yes my daughter is a sophomore this year at Kenyon. If you don't mind I would love to know where your DD is attending. And if you do not want to disclose I understand that as well! I try to catch as many games as I can being 8 hours away!