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Feb 16, 2015
933
43
South East
Would I have thought that high school softball would be worse than 10U Softball. The parents and girls act like two year old children. My daughter has cried more in the last two weeks over bullying and PARENTS apparently downing her to the coach since she was 5! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!


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Apr 16, 2013
1,113
83
Sorry for your experience. My DD had much the same experience after playing middle school baseball. What should have been her teammates having her back, instead treated her like utter s**t. She decided school sports wasn't for her after that. She's glad there's still an outlet with travel.
 
Feb 16, 2015
933
43
South East
Sorry for your experience. My DD had much the same experience after playing middle school baseball. What should have been her teammates having her back, instead treated her like utter s**t. She decided school sports wasn't for her after that. She's glad there's still an outlet with travel.

It is unbelievable.... she gets called a s**ty teammate (by the coach) because everyone says she is always so negative. She attempts to hold themselves accountable and gets punished for it. She was told today that no one wants to even ride the bus with her because she is so mean to everyone. So she sends out a group message telling all the upperclassmen that she is sorry for ruining their SR year and everyone responded with I have no idea what you are talking about. She was benched tonight because she told her pitcher during warmup bull pen that her curve ball was plain stupid ( meaning best she has ever thrown). Another teammate over heard her and told the coach that she is telling the pitcher she sucks and so on. The real problem is the coach because she is just taking the word of a group of around 3-4 girls on the team and never even questioning my DD about. She has played with girls from many different states for the last few years and I have never heard anything negative about her coming from her teammates. I really hope she thinks long and hard about following the path that your DD took.


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Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
Emily put up with it through Junior year. Senior year, she went to the HC and said I'm not going to play this year due to these 4 girls constantly bullying me...and then proceeded to name them. There were only two on the entire team that went on to play college ball. 1 was my DD and the other was a pitcher in her class that transferred to another school her Senior year because the HC told her she wasn't good enough to be the starting pitcher for the team. After transferring her Senior year, she signed her NLI with a mid-major D1, set the HR record for the State in their class (AAA I think), and set the class AAA record for K's. Meanwhile, the team was stuck with 2 Freshman rec ball pitchers that weren't any good at all and they went 2-26 on the season. What's that tell you about the mentality of HS ball in my area and specifically DD's HS team and coaching staff?

ETA: I still talk to some of the younger girls on that team and they say nothing has changed.
 
Last edited:
Feb 16, 2015
933
43
South East
Emily put up with it through Junior year. Senior year, she went to the HC and said I'm not going to play this year due to these 4 girls constantly bullying me...and then proceeded to name them. There were only two on the entire team that went on to play college ball. 1 was my DD and the other was a pitcher in her class that transferred to another school her Senior year because the HC told her she wasn't good enough to be the starting pitcher for the team. After transferring her Senior year, she signed her NLI with a mid-major D1, set the HR record for the State in their class (AAA I think), and set the class AAA record for K's. What's that tell you about the mentality of HS ball in my area and specifically DD's HS team and coaching staff?

Yes sounds like my Daughters coach is the same way. I have read before were you said that Emily is even going through it in college. My heart breaks for her from seeing what my DD (Makenzie) is going through. She is really taking everything to heart, I hope she can rise above and move on but the wound is very fresh now. I don’t really think the girls bulling her, phases her to much but the coach really broke her heart tonight.


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Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
Yes sounds like my Daughters coach is the same way. I have read before were you said that Emily is even going through it in college. My heart breaks for her from seeing what my DD (Makenzie) is going through. She is really taking everything to heart, I hope she can rise above and move on but the wound is very fresh now. I don’t really think the girls bulling her, phases her to much but the coach really broke her heart tonight.


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College has since gotten a little better for her. Once they started going outside and started live pitching, Emily started jacking the ball OTF. Then the team started to rally behind her. The one Junior Catcher that she will replace behind the plate has since quit playing altogether and the other has actually started to treat her as an equal. Several teammates have become her friends since that post although there are still a few holdouts, mostly upperclassmen that don't think she's quite earned her spot yet. Time will tell I guess. In the meantime, I remind Emily that even though it's a team sport and she's there to help them win, she's on the field for herself and her love of the game. Thankfully, her HC and the Ac's are standing behind her with a unified front.

Also, another thing that helped was a team building exercise the other night. They had a team dinner together. Before they sat down to eat, the coaches tied the hands of all the players to the players on either side of them. i.e. right hand was tied to the left hand of the player on their right and vice versa. In groups of 8, they sat around a round table and had to figure out how to eat with their hands tied to 2 different players, one on each side. Emily said they all had a blast and even the upperclassmen were talking and joking with her. She said the best part was trying to butter their dinner rolls together;)

As for your DD, I hope she gets through this. It's tough not having the faith of the coaches behind them and can really make it miserable for them.
 
Last edited:
Feb 16, 2015
933
43
South East
College has since gotten a little better for her. Once they started going outside and started live pitching, Emily started jacking the ball OTF. Then the team started to rally behind her. The one Junior Catcher that she will replace behind the plate has since quit playing altogether and the other has actually started to treat her as an equal. Several teammates have become her friends since that post although there are still a few holdouts, mostly upperclassmen that don't think she's quite earned her spot yet. Time will tell I guess. In the meantime, I remind Emily that even though it's a team sport and she's there to help them win, she's on the field for herself and her love of the game. Thankfully, her HC and the Ac's are standing behind her with a unified front.

Also, another thing that helped was a team building exercise the other night. They had a team dinner together. Before they sat down to eat, the coaches tied the hands of all the players to the players on either side of them. i.e. right hand was tied to the left hand of the player on their right and vice versa. In groups of 8, they sat around a round table and had to figure out how to eat with their hands tied to 2 different players, one on each side. Emily said they all had a blast and even the upperclassmen were talking and joking with her. She said the best part was trying to butter their dinner rolls together;)

As for your DD, I hope she gets through this. It's tough not having the faith of the coaches behind them and can really make it miserable for them.

Thanks YOCOACH..... I am glad to hear things are turning around for her. I hope Emily has a wonderful season!


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Jun 6, 2016
2,724
113
Chicago
Whenever I read these HS horror stories I can't even imagine how lucky these coaches are, and they don't even realize it.

I would love to have just one player who is as good as the DDs of those on this board. Just one. And these coaches piss away their opportunity to coach players (or, you know, just plug them into the lineup and let them play) with such bright futures for reasons nobody can understand.
 
Nov 27, 2012
197
18
The problem with HS coaches is, they get some of these really good players handed to them without putting in any work. Most of us will not appreciate things we don't earn. Some daddy coach in a recball worked hard and with these kids and taught them to throw and hit and field ground balls. Then they move on to travel where they learn the game from better coaches and by playing bunch of tournaments. By the time they go to HS, most of these kids are finished products for HS level.
HS coaches think they need to mess with these kids just for the sake of messing with them and to get the credit for developing these so called "state champions." HS coaches should be good managers first, stick these kids in the line up and put them in their positions and enjoy the Wins. I never understood why they think they need to beat these kids down and break them to get them to perform. May be to satisfy their ego tip.
 
Dec 5, 2012
4,143
63
Mid West
Sorry for your negative experience so far. It's sad, but I believe a lot of this crap is a result of poor leadership. The coach should set the tone of a positive and uplifting environment. As far as a teammate "correcting" other players will almost certainly cause problems.
Players build each other up... Coaches correct.
Golden rule. Always
 

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