Softball balance and Family Life?

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Nov 15, 2016
80
6
My DD started TB last fall and before this happened we swore we would never be those people at the ball park every weekend. Sure enough fast forward a year and out lives have never been the same. Don't get me wrong it has been amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything watching my girls have fun and compete. But it is starting to take its toll. I have a first year 12u and a first year 10u on very competitive teams which means lots of travel and lots of tournaments. Oldest practices 1.5 hrs away and youngest about 1 hr away. After only a year we are starting feel the never ending cycle of tournaments and practice. The teams plan to take off some in Dec and Jan but being as competitive as they are I don't really see that truly happening. My wife and I are seriously discussing cutting back to more local teams with the expectation that we will actually have some sort of normal life outside of softball. I feel like they are too young to have a such a time commitment and am worried about burn out. When did yall decide to get serious and at what age.
 

2br02b

Trabant swing
Jul 25, 2017
303
43
My DD started TB last fall and before this happened we swore we would never be those people at the ball park every weekend. Sure enough fast forward a year and out lives have never been the same. Don't get me wrong it has been amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything watching my girls have fun and compete. But it is starting to take its toll. I have a first year 12u and a first year 10u on very competitive teams which means lots of travel and lots of tournaments. Oldest practices 1.5 hrs away and youngest about 1 hr away. After only a year we are starting feel the never ending cycle of tournaments and practice. The teams plan to take off some in Dec and Jan but being as competitive as they are I don't really see that truly happening. My wife and I are seriously discussing cutting back to more local teams with the expectation that we will actually have some sort of normal life outside of softball. I feel like they are too young to have a such a time commitment and am worried about burn out. When did yall decide to get serious and at what age.

We decided that as long as our kids were interested, we would just enjoy the ride.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
Travel ball is a full-family commitment. At 8U, we were sure Maddie would NEVER play travel ball. Second year of 10U, it was crystal clear that TB was the only way for her to play with other players at her level, and continue to develop into the kind of player that she wanted to be. Now at first year of 14U, there have certainly been some times where we have felt completely overwhelmed by the commitment to year-round travel softball. Softball dictating the schedule for everything in your life can feel pretty stifling sometimes. However, when we step back and breathe for second, we remember that she is getting an amazing opportunity to play the sport at this level, and her motivation remains high (despite her own sacrifices) to keep playing and pushing herself. This is a small window of time that can't be reclaimed. I had my time to explore some hobbies of my own (which I may return to in the future). Now is her time to play the game she loves at the highest level she is capable of - as long as that continues to be what she wants.

All that said, we are a single-kid house. Those who are able to juggle 2+ kids in high-level sports have my utmost respect. A good friend of mine has DDs playing 16U and 12U TB. Generally speaking, mom handles the 16U and dad handles the 12U. They don't see each other very much during the weekend, but remain committed to living this life to support their very talented kids activities.
 
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Jun 11, 2013
2,619
113
We made a total commitment that it wouldn't affect our Son. We did make him attend a few tournaments, but mostly one of us stayed with him so he could pursue other interests including on the verge of becoming and Eagle Scout. Sadly I think it's all over.
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
My assistant coach has two girls that both play travel ball. DD1 is part of our 18u team. DD2 plays 14u. Since he is a coach, he is always at our practices and games. His wife attends all the events with the other daughter. When possible they do attempt to schedule things together. For example, the two teams played at tournaments within 90 minutes of each other twice this summer. They were able to find a hotel half way between the two locations, and stayed together as a family. Actually, the way our schedule worked out, he was able to attend a couple of his other daughter's games without missing any of our games. To help with the situation, we also allow his DD2 to practice with our 18u team. She gets along with our players well, and the older players seem to like having her around. So while it may not be the best situation overall, they seem to make the best of it.

I only have one child, so DW and I have altered our schedules to meet her TB schedule. It took some adjustment the first year because neither of us fully understood the amount of commitment needed. But once we got used to it, it hasn't been an issue for us. Honestly, I am dreading the day when it ends.
 
May 22, 2015
410
28
Illinois
The struggle is real. I want DD to be on the most competitive team she can be on, but we do have some constraints. It can't cost more than a certain amount to play each year, and practices have to be with in 45 minutes from our house. Unfortunately that limits her opportunities, but since we have 2 other kids that's just the way it is. I would LOVE for her to be able to play on a super competative team that travels to Cali, Colorado, Florida. I have no doubt she has the skill & can compete with anybody, but it's just not feasible for us. Some tournament weekends we have to send her with a team mate, sometimes just her & I go, sometimes her and mom go, and sometimes the whole family goes. Our oldest boy (11) has had to suffer and miss out on things to some extent, but he inherited his mothers athletic ability so is not into very competitive sports. Flag football, rec soccer, and cub scouts is all he is into right now. If that changes in the future we will make the adjustment. It has been quite hard the last few years bringing our youngest boy (4) everywhere we go. Try working on potty training all summer when all you have is a porta potty or a stainless steel crapper to choose from lol. Needless to say he's watered quite a few trees at ball fields all over the midwest. On top of that he really has no other siblings on the team that are as young as him to play with, but of course the girls love him. We have been doing this for a few years now, so it's just how our crazy life is and what we do.
 
Apr 24, 2017
203
28
Georgia
How many times per week are they practicing 1.5 and 1 hour away? Do either of you coach also? Do you have other children that are sacrificing their lives to TB also?

We have three girls, 18,13, and 10. My 18 and 10 year old are musical, theatrical, insanely funny, sensitive kids without an competitive or athletic bone in their bodies. My 13 year old is a beast, and has been playing TB for five years now. To be completely honest, there have been weekends where I am positive that TB is child abuse to the player AND her siblings and I am the worst mother possible. But then we get home and her sisters offer to throw with her, or soft toss to her in the batting cage, and I realize it is okay. My oldest really didn't have many activities, but my youngest is in dance, chorus, Girl Scouts, and is trying out for the play at school next week. Family vacations are to ball tournaments, and that is okay. We use our off weekends cramming in as much house touch-up/yard work/laundry/family time as possible. Our extended family has learned to plan birthday parties and holidays arounds us as much as possible, and we are eternally grateful for that.

Bottom line is, you can find closer and less competitive teams that might be a lot of fun to play on and will reduce your stress level. But chances are, you can find more competitive teams closer to home also. Maybe a team that only practices on the weekends? That's what we did this year, as we have three girls coming from 1.5-2 hours away. Find a coach willing to work with you. There are so many teams out there now that I truly believe the right fit is out there for every family.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
Right now I have to only worry about 1 kid in TB, my 8 YO DD. Commitment right now is 2 or 3 practices (depending on whether they have a tournament or not) a week about 45 minutes away and about 2 tournaments a month usually all within an hour
to hour and a half a way. The tournament travel time and number will likely increase as she gets older if she continues to play. I also have a two year old boy and another on the way in the spring. They will get dragged around until they are old enough to play
organized sports, if they want to. Then we will have to figure out what to do..my 8 YO already told me she wants me to go to all of her games and let Mom go to her brother(s)'s games :rolleyes:

My parents had two very close in age who they had to manage, as my sister and I are a year a part and I have a brother who is 8 years younger. However, although both my sister and I played multiple sports growing up (me 2 and my sister played 3)
the travel aspect was much less of an issue 25 years ago. Also everything was pretty much local until we hit our teens at which point we would just stay home by ourselves if we didn't want to go to our siblings games. By the time my brother had to travel any distance to play ball my sister and I were already in college.

All that said, growing up sports and academics were all we did. We didn't have the money to go on vacations so summers were spent at the ball field regardless if we had games or not. If I wasn't playing a game I was either
playing ball with my friends/father or we were watching games at the local park. Hence our current TB time commitment seems
somewhat natural to me. My DW (who played volleyball and track in HS and ran track in college) probably would give a different opinion on that :D
 
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Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
2 weeks age different between niece a d DD.

We practiced against each other and DD is better, niece will probably get scholarship to big10 school.

Nothing wrong but they spend weekends on softball field, DD ocasionial goes to a birthday party.
 
Jul 14, 2017
181
28
I often wonder what people think travel ball means. It is a year round commitment that takes up the majority of your weekends. Join a private/competitive team and not a local town team? Plan on TRAVELING to multiple practices a week.
The schedule does leave some serious wear and tear on the family, but as long as my dd loves the game, I’ll do it. Everyone is different, but if your dd’s are playing competitively now, they might get bored to tears/lose passion for the game playing down. What do they think?


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