How to help a girl become a team leader

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May 15, 2016
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My DD1's team from last spring was split into two different 14u teams after many more girls than expected showed up for tryouts in August. She was placed on the "weaker" team. I think it was fair to say my DD was in the top third of the 12u last season. The head of the organization said my DD should not see it as demotion.

Anyway, now my daughter is clearly the top player on the "weaker" team, she is hitting fourth and caught every inning of the last tournament they played. She feels being the top player is not going to help her become a better player. I would like to encourage her to become a team leader. She already takes command of the field from behind the plate. She is announcing the number of outs, and telling to the infield where the play should go as each new batter steps up to the plate. Whenever the ball is hit into the air she is yelling "up, up" and calls out the base number so the outfielders know where to line the up the cut.

Any suggestions of how I can help her become even more of a team leader, and how she can make the most out of being the number 1 player on her team?
 
Mar 31, 2011
120
18
Central Florida
There's a right way to do this and several wrong ways. The team won't want another "coach" but they will want a player that leads by example, always hustling, picking up teammates, etc... and what she's already doing behind the dish.
 
Apr 17, 2012
806
18
Wi
There's a right way to do this and several wrong ways. The team won't want another "coach" but they will want a player that leads by example, always hustling, picking up teammates, etc... and what she's already doing behind the dish.

This /\ /\
Definitely instill a team leader does not mean coach. A young player telling other players how to do things or that theyre doing somthing wrong will create animosity. Lead by example be positive
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
If becoming a better player is her goal being on a team where she's way ahead of the rest isn't the way to do it. JMO.
 

CoreSoftball20

Wilson = Evil Empire
DFP Vendor
Dec 27, 2012
6,215
113
Kunkletown, PA
Great replies about leading by example...that's the perfect way to be a team leader.

She doesn't need to make the others players feel like she is better than they are or trying to "coach" them or make them feel
like she is forcing them to make her team leader or whatever you want to call it.

Other things will happen on their own time. If she is positive and encouraging to them, and she plays the game the right way...other
players will notice that. Remember, its not always the best players that are team leaders. Attitude plays a big part.
 
DD has a situation now where it's obvious that the coach's kids have been encouraged to be leaders on the field. Unfortunately, that's translated into the coach's daughters telling their teammates that they should have made a play, or that a routine mistake is something that "can't happen!" At 12, the line between leadership and criticism can get blurry, especially during a game. I think it's best to let the girls with some natural leadership tendencies to seize the initiative. If they feel like being a leader means they have to say something, it's not always going to be inspiring.
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
The short answer is you can't. If she is a natural leader it will show up both on and off the field. The players will naturally follow her example. You can always tell if someone is trying too hard to be the leader. It usually comes off as being fake.

One line that has always stuck in the back of my mind is "It takes more than being bossy to be a good boss."

If your DD is a natural leader it will come out on it's own. As others have said. If she's the #1 on the team she is not being pushed. Try to get her in a more competitive situation.
 
May 17, 2012
2,804
113
I agree with others in that I wouldn't force anybody to be anything they are not. There is no tangible value for having "team leaders" in softball. 9 talented kids with zero leaders will beat 9 leaders with less talent almost every time.
 
May 15, 2016
926
18
There's a right way to do this and several wrong ways. The team won't want another "coach" but they will want a player that leads by example, always hustling, picking up teammates, etc... and what she's already doing behind the dish.

I certainly did not mean to imply she should act like a coach. I have never played a team sport, so I do not know about the dynamics of a team. I had assumed one player would step up and takes a peer leadership role. I hear her in the dugout when her team is batting cheering on her teammate at bat. In the last scrimmage the coaches gave the catching responsibilities in the second game of the day to two other players, and my DD was at SS, encouraging the pitcher, continuing to call the number of outs and to what base the next play should be. She is also the one of the kids who will always carry the equipment to the coaches car, even while she is dragging her catchers bag.
 

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