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Thread: Need Some advice please

  1. #11
    I can talk softball all day let it be fun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by djcarter1966 View Post
    I think a lot of people are missing the point not following the coaches sign or direction IN GAME is not acceptable.
    It sounds like she was told to take the first pitch and didn't one time. It happens. Kids miss steal signs, kids miss bunt signs, kids run when told not to. Some coaches yell and others take the girls to the side and comment to her. I saw a coach completely crush two of his best players on a first year 14U team by screaming at them when one didn't get a bunt down and the other missed a steal sign. Those girls were WORTHLESS for the rest of the day and the coach had no idea he was the reason.

    Some kids don't take to that kind of coaching. Others adjust over time and get used to it but in the mean time it can be a painful journey. Life is too short for softball to not be fun. In the meantime parents can help by backing WAY off and just being supportive. You need to separate yourselves from her performance and realize that you are not helping at all by adding to her stress. My DDs had their own struggles when moving up an age group or a level and it is hard to back off. If I could do it all over again I would be a lot more laid back. The yelling coach won't change so if Peanut DD continues to play tight and not adjust (after you back WAY off) I would look for a new team before spring season.


  2. #12
    Certified softball maniac djcarter1966's Avatar
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    I'm not a yelling proponent either but I think separating not getting a bunt down and missing a sign is appropriate one you control one you don't. Failing at a physical task be that striking out, not getting a bunt down or cleanly fielding a ball is one thing. Missing a sign, running through a stop or throwing to the wrong base when you should know better is another thing. Not being mentally present in the game while it can have many causes I have a lots less tolerance for than failing physically maybe the pitcher knew she was trying to bunt and pitched higher balls, maybe that ball hit a little pebble right before it got to your glove or whatever not all things within your control.

    Again like you said if it's a one time thing OK but if this happens EVERY time she faces better competition then it's a pattern that tells me she can't focus against better ball clubs which is when your focus should be it's highest. As I previously stated there is no magic pill for for physical performance but doing the things under your control correctly should be expected. It's back to attitude and effort are always expected after that I'll let the chips fall where they may as far as results, heck maybe it's the coaches fault for not providing enough instruction in the skills needed or playing at the wrong level.

  3. #13
    I can talk softball all day BadMonkeys's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanut View Post
    My 13yr is a stud she can hit the *** out of the ball great plays the field at short well,does the shortstop hop and creep in BUT. Since she has now moved up to "A" Level team playing teams like the premier Bandits,the futures all the good good teams she has frozen now. Her very first tournament she got yelled at and it has affected her since and me being her dad cant understand it and get on her but she seems scared now to make a mistake and its mentally screwing with her bad. What can I or someone do to help her. It only happens playing the elite teams.., Its like telling her to take the first pitch she did it in 3 games but when playing the elite team she swung at it and was told don't swing. Also throwing harder to 1st base she was told throw the **** out of the ball but she doesn't and doesn't charge the ball its seems she's scared. The coaches are telling her Dad is telling her but to me she just isn't listening and that bothers me and I become a Gorilla because I don't understand when I played someone says don't swing I don't, Bottom line her confidence crumbled lately throwing and fielding and I don't understand it and makes me crazy. Please any thoughts
    Stop being Gorilla. Lots of "telling" not so much "listening". Maybe Gorilla need listen to DD? You said a lot from your perspective but none of hers. Ask, listen, then consider.

  4. #14
    I can talk softball all day Cyder517's Avatar
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    Sounds like your dd is talented and you have very high expectations of her.

    Remember, as talented as she is, she moved up a level- no more big fish in the small pond. She is on a team of big fish---which can be a great thing, but you need to seriously back off.

    You sound like my husband, where his mood/ego is directly tied to my dd's performance. If she has a bad day or even worse a slump.....he is unbearable and nothing that comes out of his mouth is supportive or productive.

    When she messes up, there is no need to rehash it, she knows she messed up and is probably harder on herself than either you or the coach. To play this game, they need to develop mental toughness. That means you backing off, and letting her realize and recover from her errors. Keep it up and she'll stop playing altogether.


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  6. #15
    double nickel David Hayes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quincy View Post
    Is it acceptable for DD to ignore the bunt Sign? Well maybe not ignore it just pull the bat Back.

    I suppose she could ask the coach why they have her bunt so much but what is the fun in that?
    Not acceptable, that is playing selfish. Was there a squeeze on, did they need to move runners?


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  7. #16
    I'm a fan peanut's Avatar
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    Thank You for the suggestions. We had a tournament she went 7 for 11 2 triples, Double, 3 singles,A beautiful bunt . Played the Bandits premier, Bandit furtures,Wasco, NwI sox,Heat and in all the games she did well when it came time to play the Premier Bandits she froze,Not any other team. Her very first tournament in A Level playing the premier she got yelled at 3x and it affected her when it came time to play them again. Now as far as the coaching there great coaches and when they yell afterwords they bring the girl to the side and explain what happen how to correct it but I trust these coaches 100%. But I just dont understand when you tell someone to do something,Take a pitch, Creep in go to the ball and you dont I go ape *** inside myself I dont klet anyone see it or yell at her on the filed. Now I have great parents around me to tell me what you are all saying and in a year I will be eating my words because she is a stud and yes only 13
    Last edited by sluggers; 10-04-2017 at 01:03 PM. Reason: *NO PROFANITY*

  8. #17
    Certified softball maniac MNDad's Avatar
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    There’s a brag thread for touting your kids performance. Many of us have kids who were absolute studs at 13, 10, 8, pick any age. Congrats to your DD, but she’s just another kid on here.
    Relax and enjoy the ride

  9. #18
    I can talk softball all day ang2bmd's Avatar
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    It's a big transition. I agree with everything said here. We play for one of those big name organizations you mentioned and I can tell you that they preach attitude and effort above all else. Control what you can control. They will rip our kids a new one for ignoring a sign, bad attitude after a strike out, not laying out for a ball. That's all attitude and effort. Never do they get yelled at for a miffed ball, getting thrown out, bad throw etc...they get talked to and corrected for those things. As parents it's hard to learn to sit back and leave it be but you have to learn or she'll hate you and the game. All we should talk to our kids about is attitude and effort. Let the coaches handle the rest.

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