The only time my DD1 becomes irrational

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May 15, 2016
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She is generally a easy going kid, has a few pet peeves but nothing like the irrational state she goes into when driving to a game or practice.

Her team has a very strict rule about not arriving late for a practice or warm up, otherwise they risk losing game time. I am glad for the rule, but as a result she is having some very intense reactions. She wants to arrive 30 minutes before the announced time of the warm up. Her team requires players be ready to start warming up 1 hour and 15 minutes before game time. I don't want to have arrive 1 hour and 45 minutes before game time.

Yesterday we were minutes away from the field, and close to 15 minutes before the required time to be there. She had a minor fit. She started yelling, squirming around in her seat belt, and being sharp, and rather nasty to everyone in the car.

This only happens with softball. She is also on a swim team and she definitely wants to arrive early, but does not behave like she does before anything to do with softball. Softball is her first love, so I know it is most important to her, but this is becoming unbearable.

Anyone have an similar experience, and did you find a solution you could share?
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
Anyone have an similar experience, and did you find a solution you could share?

Yes, I get that way too if I am not early :cool: I always took the Larry Bird first to practice last to leave mentality..
Of course that mentality is easier to deal with when you are transporting yourself to games/practice. In your case
as you are the one providing transportation you can tell her that you like the ("Larry Bird) mentality that she is harboring
but that Dad just cannot bring himself to waiting around for 1.5 hours before the game.

What I actually do with my DD is, if we have time, doing some work at home before we go to the game. We'll hit off the tee and I will throw her front toss
(wiffles) and do some hands drills for fielding. Takes about 20 to 25 minutes. Then we get to the game at the time
the coach wants us there. We started doing this in rec ball as the team warmup only consisted of throwing usually and have
continued it, when we can, with her TB team which has a bit more extensive warmup.
 
Last edited:
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
I am always early, especially if DD is not with me. Our team is pretty lax on being on time.

Maybe ask the coach for a couple freebies in being late to settle her down, probly will never be late still but might settle her down.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
I wish my DD would get a little of this fire in her belly. Very slow to get going in the morning. She's always ready at exactly the last second and generally then still has to go back into the house for something she's forgotten while I stew in the car knowing she's burned the time we need to grab breakfast or maybe get gas. I hate starting long tournament days that way; makes me nuts.
 
May 15, 2016
926
18
I wish my DD would get a little of this fire in her belly. Very slow to get going in the morning. She's always ready at exactly the last second and generally then still has to go back into the house for something she's forgotten while I stew in the car knowing she's burned the time we need to grab breakfast or maybe get gas. I hate starting long tournament days that way; makes me nuts.

I can understand why it drives you nuts. Some of the team parents have said the same thing to me. If I had to chose I would rather have my problem, but I would love to take off some of the edge off of her behavior.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
I can understand why it drives you nuts. Some of the team parents have said the same thing to me. If I had to chose I would rather have my problem, but I would love to take off some of the edge off of her behavior.

The thing is I am like your daughter, and my daughter is opposite of me. Quite honestly, the invention of the Waze app has helped me a lot. My husband calls me "pathologically early." Now, I will just type the address in while I'm still getting ready and see how long it will really take to get there vs. how long I just imagine it will. I almost always wind up having 15 minutes to spare that I did not expect to have. It's helped me to not drive my family crazy and to be more relaxed. Maybe show her on Waze your projected arrival time and seeing it in black and white will convince her to chill for a few more minutes.
 
May 15, 2016
926
18
The thing is I am like your daughter, and my daughter is opposite of me. Quite honestly, the invention of the Waze app has helped me a lot. My husband calls me "pathologically early." Now, I will just type the address in while I'm still getting ready and see how long it will really take to get there vs. how long I just imagine it will. I almost always wind up having 15 minutes to spare that I did not expect to have. It's helped me to not drive my family crazy and to be more relaxed. Maybe show her on Waze your projected arrival time and seeing it in black and white will convince her to chill for a few more minutes.

Thanks. We have been using her iPhone's app which gives an estimate on the time we will be arriving, which sounds a lot like Waze. I might try having her imagine how long it will take, not sure it will work. She does not have a sense of how far a tournament 20 miles away is compared to a tournament 60 miles away. Even when we are running 15 minutes early to practice, and we are sitting at a red light, she can get a bit irrational.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
I would also say to talk to her about it at a time when you are NOT heading to a tournament. Plan out in advance what you will do if you ever run into an unexpected snag (e.g., text/call the coach). Point out to her that the rule was made b/c there are slackers out there who show up 15 minutes before game time and expect not to lose playing time b/c of it. If you are late once, the world will not stop turning. She may be benched once. But if she's not a habitual offender, it's probably unlikely he would do anything to her. In other words, talk about it when she's not irrational and then remind her of the conversation when she is.
 

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