Psycho Parent qu'est-ce que?

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Oct 15, 2013
727
63
Seattle, WA
Last Saturday I had a really disturbing parent encounter. We were at my youngest DD's last tournament of the season (12U). I'm a coach on the team and during warmups I point out to one of the girls that she is pulling her head on each swing. Her first at bat of the game, first swing she pulls her head. Between pitches I yell down to her (we'll call her Zelda) "Z, keep your head on the ball!". Her father comes racing to the dugout screaming my name. "Don't talk to her while she's at the plate......blah blah", I don't even know, I was kind of shocked, but I just ignore him. In the past he has said something to me about not talking to her while she's at the plate claiming she has the yips and he knows all about the yips because George Brett was his baby sitter and other nonsense.

Then things went bad. He disappeared for the rest of the game, which I thought was good. He needed to cool down. After the game I'm walking to the parking lot with my DD and a friend who is guest playing with us and I see the father walking towards me. I think to myself, "Oh, good, he's going to apologize and we can just put this all behind us." Well, he doesn't apologize. He pulls out his phone and tries to show me a video of his daughter at bat and starts yelling, "That's you! Listen, that's you, right in the middle of her back swing, you're yelling at her. You don't do that! You don't talk to her while she's at bat!" I'm pretty sure at this point that he's going to get physical.

I keep walking, and just say, "I'm the coach!". Now, this father wants to be the head coach of the team next year and he responds in this sort of knowing way, "No, you're not, Lobster Birch, no, you're not!", implying that he knows he's got the job (I'm on the board-it's still not clear how he thought this would help his case). I say, "Hey, I don't want to hear it now!" and keep walking to my car. He really goes crazy and starts yelling that he has thousands of videos of me doing this and that I only do it to his daughter and no one else and that it's intentional. I turn away towards my car and he does not follow, which I was relieved about and when we've gone a few steps my 11 year old DD says "OK, that was kind of crazy."

Now, it's bad enough and crazy enough to to accuse me of intentionally trying to distract a player on my own team, but this is a girl who I brought into the organization. She plays in our Little League. I've known her since she was 8. She and my DD are best friends.

I'd say this is a classic case of being way to emotionally involved in your daughter's performance mixed with paranoia and ego.

On the bright side when people start talking about crazy parents I now have a story that I think will top most others.
 
Aug 19, 2015
1,118
113
Atlanta, GA
Wow. He was clearly losing it b/c he perceived this as a season-long issue. In which case he should have discussed it with you calmly months ago! And accosting you in front of your own child is inexcusable. I'd be lobbying to have this guy banned as a candidate for coaching b/c he clearly has impulse control issues. Do you think he had been drinking maybe?
 

Top_Notch

Screwball
Dec 18, 2014
512
63
Need to have parent sign an etiquette form at the beginning of the season. In it needs to be a 24 hr rule. And after 24 hrs, any issue needs to be in writing/email.

Even so, we did that and one parent went off on a player near and dear to my heart (DD) and when we referenced the 24hr rule he stated that he knew he would feel the same way after 24hrs so he wasn't going to wait. What a DB.
 
Aug 29, 2011
2,581
83
NorCal
Thanks for the crazy story LB.

On a side note Psycho Killer was playing in the background when I clicked on this site today and saw your post. Awesome thread title.
 
Jan 27, 2010
1,871
83
NJ
The parent was way off base and it never should of gotten to that. Now as far as coaching from the box, there is a school of thought that says kids have enough going on without the coach yelling out instructions during the at bat, thinking that the time for that was practice or warm ups. Regardless of how you feel about that, he was out of line.
 
Jun 1, 2013
847
18
The parent was way off base and it never should of gotten to that. Now as far as coaching from the box, there is a school of thought that says kids have enough going on without the coach yelling out instructions during the at bat, thinking that the time for that was practice or warm ups. Regardless of how you feel about that, he was out of line.

At that age if the coach isnt trying to give them some kind of verbal cues or instructions he is just being lazy in my opinion. They are 12u not 18u
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
He says he has a lot of video. First, is there any validity to you yelling instruction while she was in the swing? If so, stop. By that time in the process, it wouldn't help her anyway. Next, this is going to get worse. He has built up some type of animosity over months. He is still stewing. He hasn't exploded yet though I'm sure you think he has. I would not have this young lady on my team. The team is the next affected. He came into the dugout this time. He's coming onto the field at some point.

What do you think this young lady is hearing at home? Let me guarantee this young lady's life is not good. This young lady's performance has become a part of the dad's ego and he won't be able to accept her failure. Believe me, I've seen this a lot.
 
Apr 26, 2015
704
43
Ugh - sorry you had to deal with that - especially in front of your daughter! DD's team has had more than their share of crazy...for instance:

2 yrs ago DD had a teammate with a crazy dad. He would yell at her after every pitch (she is a pitcher). She would only take instruction from her dad and his main instruction was throw the opposite of what the coach called. So if the call was low and outside she was to throw high and inside. DD would catch for her and have such a hard time getting set up not knowing if the girl was going to follow the coaches instructions or her dads.

One game she decided to follow the coaches instruction. The dad flipped out. He started throwing around f-bombs and finally stormed into the dugout (during the game) and threw all his daughters stuff out of the dugout, grabbed her when she returned to the dugout and yelled at the coach that they were done. Coach started yelling back they she was not welcome back on the team. This went on for probably 5 minutes. Parent, umps, kids all just staring in disbelief. Craziest part is - she was back playing the following weekend like nothing had happened.

And then a year later we had another parent who towards the end of the season just decided that the coach was the worst coach ever and ambushed parents in the parking lot on their way into a tourney and gave us a packet of info "detailing" the coaches shortcomings, money mismanagement, dishonest behavior, etc. it was so weird because he was waiting behind a large utility bax and jumped out and confronted parents. Ugh. That is the part of softball I do not like! This past year that same parent refused to get out of DD's teams pic after they won a tourney against his daughters team. He stood behind the backstop making faces and obscene gestures so he would be in every picture. Pretty pathetic.
 

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