When is it ok to leave a TB team?

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Nov 4, 2015
5
0
My daughter is on a 12u travel ball team, this is her first year. We started the season, last August 2016 for the start of fall, have played many scrimmages and a couple tournaments over the winter. We are now into a second tournament of the Spring season. The question I have is.... When do you know when to call it quits? My daughter joined TB, with high hopes of learning and becoming a better player. Instead, her confidence level and mental state has gone on a down whirl spiral. She usually has to sit the bench of half of the game, play outfield, never infield, and bats last. I am not saying my daughter is a star and doesn't need improvement, she does! It seems like this team, is all about who the HC is friends with and who is wife is friends with at the field. My daughter is a hitter - this is her 3rd season playing rec ball, She hits home runs, barely ever strikes out. But on this team, all the coaches are trying to change her swing, and its just not one coach, its numerous and she was never making contact with the ball, EVER. Finally I had to get mean this past weekend, guess what, no one said anything to her and she hit and hit and hit and hit again! Yesterday, the coach came over to my husband and talked to him. He said my daughter sits the bench and hits last, because he has girls in their second season and he can't do that.. SO its not that they are better than my daughter, he just feels bad, he also admits that everyone tells him what to do, all 6 of the other coaches! I just feel like this team is bringing her down and not believing in her. I want to leave, she wants to leave, but I didn't raise I quitter. I believe you should finish what you started. But when she is crying, not wanting to go back. I feel that is a problem.. (note- she is a not a cry baby)
 
Mar 26, 2016
122
28
My daughter is on a 12u travel ball team, this is her first year. We started the season, last August 2016 for the start of fall, have played many scrimmages and a couple tournaments over the winter. We are now into a second tournament of the Spring season. The question I have is.... When do you know when to call it quits? My daughter joined TB, with high hopes of learning and becoming a better player. Instead, her confidence level and mental state has gone on a down whirl spiral. She usually has to sit the bench of half of the game, play outfield, never infield, and bats last. I am not saying my daughter is a star and doesn't need improvement, she does! It seems like this team, is all about who the HC is friends with and who is wife is friends with at the field. My daughter is a hitter - this is her 3rd season playing rec ball, She hits home runs, barely ever strikes out. But on this team, all the coaches are trying to change her swing, and its just not one coach, its numerous and she was never making contact with the ball, EVER. Finally I had to get mean this past weekend, guess what, no one said anything to her and she hit and hit and hit and hit again! Yesterday, the coach came over to my husband and talked to him. He said my daughter sits the bench and hits last, because he has girls in their second season and he can't do that.. SO its not that they are better than my daughter, he just feels bad, he also admits that everyone tells him what to do, all 6 of the other coaches! I just feel like this team is bringing her down and not believing in her. I want to leave, she wants to leave, but I didn't raise I quitter. I believe you should finish what you started. But when she is crying, not wanting to go back. I feel that is a problem.. (note- she is a not a cry baby)


sounds like you've already made your mind up to leave, my advice would be to use her sitting out as motivation to work hard, and when she gets her shot to make sure she makes it count. As far as hitting advice, we see a private instructor, my daughter knows if someone is trying to change something to just agree with them, if it's practice to try there way but game time do what her instructor has taught her, 9xs out of 10 kid is successful in a game coach isn't going to tell her to change. Sitting out based on friends and age is is a poor excuse, have your daughter ask the coach what she needs to work on for more playing time.

Going forward if you decide to leave go to games of other teams you are considering, if they are dad coaches verify if there kid plays the same position as yours...

As far as the outfield the days of the "bad" kids placed in the outfield are coming to an end.. My DD helped a team out over spring she was placed with the outties took an open mind approach to learning a new position and made some game changing plays.
 
Mar 13, 2015
202
18
Omaha, Ne
My daughter is on a 12u travel ball team, this is her first year. We started the season, last August 2016 for the start of fall, have played many scrimmages and a couple tournaments over the winter. We are now into a second tournament of the Spring season. The question I have is.... When do you know when to call it quits? My daughter joined TB, with high hopes of learning and becoming a better player. Instead, her confidence level and mental state has gone on a down whirl spiral. She usually has to sit the bench of half of the game, play outfield, never infield, and bats last. I am not saying my daughter is a star and doesn't need improvement, she does! It seems like this team, is all about who the HC is friends with and who is wife is friends with at the field. My daughter is a hitter - this is her 3rd season playing rec ball, She hits home runs, barely ever strikes out. But on this team, all the coaches are trying to change her swing, and its just not one coach, its numerous and she was never making contact with the ball, EVER. Finally I had to get mean this past weekend, guess what, no one said anything to her and she hit and hit and hit and hit again! Yesterday, the coach came over to my husband and talked to him. He said my daughter sits the bench and hits last, because he has girls in their second season and he can't do that.. SO its not that they are better than my daughter, he just feels bad, he also admits that everyone tells him what to do, all 6 of the other coaches! I just feel like this team is bringing her down and not believing in her. I want to leave, she wants to leave, but I didn't raise I quitter. I believe you should finish what you started. But when she is crying, not wanting to go back. I feel that is a problem.. (note- she is a not a cry baby)
First off, that is not a good coach! IMO, travel ball is about playing your best 9. Maybe not in pool but it is definitely about competing for a spot. When we pick up a player she will usually bat 11th in pool but if she performed well, she will definitely be starting come bracket play. That's just an example of how competitive our staff and players are. Parents are fine and very welcoming to our pick up players. We're all on the same page! We have 3 coaches on the field and 5 total off the field. Very knowledgeable parents. Our kids will sit if they are not performing that's just it. If they're not playing her because the coaches wife hangs out with so-so and his cousins kid is ok but hey it's family first right? Yea not my cup of tea. You're in a tough spot but I'd say stick it out. Just encourage DD to work hard and keep doing what she's doing. And you can tell your HC quit being a P****! There's no way anyone will ever tell our staff how to run our team because you know what? There's another team down the highway your kid can play for! For the record, our kids have been together since 8u. Have lost 3 along the way at 10u because of pitching time and it breaks my heart to see them sit the bench because I'm very confident we could've helped those kids develop into some pretty good ball players. I got too deep but this bothers me a ton when you hear about a spineless coach!

Sent from my SM-G935P using Tapatalk
 
May 17, 2012
2,804
113
As far as hitting advice, we see a private instructor, my daughter knows if someone is trying to change something to just agree with them, if it's practice to try there way but game time do what her instructor has taught her,

Softball is littered with former players that took this same terrible advice. You are SEVERELY limiting your daughters potential by only listening to one person (that you just happen to be paying money to). It's absurd.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
If the experience on the team is making your DD miserable, and it doesn't look like the situation will improve with the coaches' opinion of her, or how she is being used on the team, I suggest that it's time to look for another opportunity.
 

ian

Jun 11, 2015
1,175
48
Sounds like she finished what she started, it's over. She needs to find a team that wants her. Find a team that positions players on skill and attitude not daddy/friend ball. Then confidence will boost and she can play to her potential. She will make new friends on the next team and keep friends she had on the old team. People say players should stay with the same team no matter what, I disagree. If the team doesn't value and respect her abilities by placing her in the position she has earned she should leave ASAP. I don't want my children being taught they should stay with people who disrespect and use them to fill a spot on their roster. There is a team that needs her.


Tell her not to worry about coaches who want to change her swing. Listen to them, hear what they have to say. She needs to talk with the coaches about hitting. She shouldn't take it personal. All coaches think they know how to hit, many actually do. Tell her to ask coach to give her a video of the perfect swing. She needs to watch the best hitters in softball and see what their swings have in common. Then implement those constants in her swing. Odds are she doesn't have a perfect swing. No big deal
 
Apr 26, 2015
704
43
I would agree that it is probably time for your DD to move on.
BUT ... I would definitely remind her that playing outfield is not punishment, or where they put the bad players. On the contrary - the outfielders are the last line of defense. If a ball gets past the infield it is a double. If it gets past the outfield it can easily become a triple or a homerun. Outfielders can be credited with making game changing plays. My DD is a catcher and outfielder. She enjoys both positions equally! Once the girls get older much of the action is in the outfield.
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
Make sure DD is ready to leave, then ask them. DD is leaving team, sounds like issues have been discussed, don't want to leave you in bind but she is not having fun.

Eveyone changes DD's swing until she bats in game, then they leave her alone. :)
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
The JJ DFP rule of leaving a team "If you are thinking about leaving enough to post something, then it is time to move on. Even if it just to find out whether the crazy is you or the team you left (or both)"

You hate it, She hates it. She still wants to play. Find a better situation for her, say "Thank you, but based on what you have told us, this is not for us" and move on. Don't explain any further. And don't expect any money back unless it is written in some contract - that is a sunk cost for the lessons learned about what you don't want on a team or coaches.
 

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