When is it ok to leave a TB team?

marriard · May 23, 2017

Rocketech1 said:
Try to find a team with paid coaches that don't have a DD on the team....

This MIGHT work --- but we have lots of these around here with coaches who are all sorts of useless and you get to pay 2-4x as much for a worse experience.

You still have to do your research even if the coaches don't have a kid on the team - it is just one of many factors. And you shouldn't discount a team just because a coach does have a kid on the team either. Don't just turn your kid over to anyone.

SMS90 · May 23, 2017

This is our first season in TB and man is it hard. Our fall team wasn't very good and on top of that imploded so we were forced to find a new team. Found another team where the coach's DD is also a catcher but decided to take the risk and everything seemed to be working out they each caught half the league games and half the games in our first tournament. However this weekend his daughter caught the first three games which we lost by a combined score of a whole lot to 1. My DD started the fourth game which we won and was then pulled for his daughter in the last inning. Look I know I have parent blinders on but I try to be as honest as possible and don't see much differnece at all in the ability of the two. Then you have the deliminea of do you speak to the coach and take the chance that you are "one of those parents" or not saying something and spend all summer not knowing what's going on my DD confidence and enjoyment errodding. On top of the that you have the catch 22 of him saying if she wants to play more she needs to improve xyz, but catchers can't improve or show you improvement without playing. Catchers get better by lessons and by working on their own because at practice the catcher is usually just a glove to catch the ball and hand it to the coach for infield. Sorry for the long post but I have no idea what to do and I also needed to get of my chest to people you might understand.

obbay · May 23, 2017

My DD started the fourth game which we won and was then pulled for his daughter in the last inning.

coach sounds like a jack@ss, but maybe he will still turn out ok.

My DD is a pitcher and no one works harder in the heat than pitchers and catchers. if your team has two catchers, I would expect that both catchers would see action in pool play and probably on Sunday, depending on who has the hotter bat or who blocks better or minimizes stolen bases. It gets hot everywhere in the USA in summer and to be wearing catchers gear in the heat, the players will NEED breaks.

I don't know what to say to convey your message constructively without putting him on the defense. your team needs to have at least two dependable catchers to share responsibilities behind the plate, otherwise you are doing a disservice to the entire team. (maybe your wife innocently asks the coach's wife what this coach does to keep his catchers fresh when they are exhausted in the heat? "...girl on another team said they have 3 catchers they rotate thru, how many do we have?")

one of our catchers had a great time playing because she wasn't behind the dish in every game- played some IF and OF as well as C and really had fun with it.

Eric F · May 23, 2017

SMS90 said:
This is our first season in TB and man is it hard. Our fall team wasn't very good and on top of that imploded so we were forced to find a new team. Found another team where the coach's DD is also a catcher but decided to take the risk and everything seemed to be working out they each caught half the league games and half the games in our first tournament. However this weekend his daughter caught the first three games which we lost by a combined score of a whole lot to 1. My DD started the fourth game which we won and was then pulled for his daughter in the last inning. Look I know I have parent blinders on but I try to be as honest as possible and don't see much differnece at all in the ability of the two. Then you have the deliminea of do you speak to the coach and take the chance that you are "one of those parents" or not saying something and spend all summer not knowing what's going on my DD confidence and enjoyment errodding. On top of the that you have the catch 22 of him saying if she wants to play more she needs to improve xyz, but catchers can't improve or show you improvement without playing. Catchers get better by lessons and by working on their own because at practice the catcher is usually just a glove to catch the ball and hand it to the coach for infield. Sorry for the long post but I have no idea what to do and I also needed to get of my chest to people you might understand.

A catcher standing next to a coach, catching the ball and handing it to him/her, is one of the biggest wastes of time on the field.

Pay close attention to this...As a coach, I'm not going to disregard my established #1 player, who has given me a long track record of success, for a player who is equal in ability. In order to take over a position from an established player, it's not enough to be equal. You have to be so much better that it can't be ignored. Every opportunity - no matter how small - is a chance to show the coaches that you are undeniably the best choice. This gets even harder when you're trying to take the coach's DD's spot.

mudrunner · May 23, 2017

Do you have another team in mind that she could go to? Have you spoken to any other teams or coaches? If not, then maybe sticking it out & networking a little for the remainder of the season would be worth while. If you make a few connections they may take her on to guest play a little bit and you can get a feel for what the team is like before committing to it. If nothing else you can talk to some parents on the other teams & see what they think of the team/organization that they are playing for and map out a plan for this fall.

Elk Grove Hurricane · May 23, 2017

There are a few rules or landmarks to look for about when to leave. Like you, I believe in finishing what we start, keeping our commitment, and being loyal. That being said, we are all free agents as soon as the summer season ends. You are paying for this and have the right to leave whenever you want, you're reputation won't be affected if you change teams at the end of the season (usually it isn't if you leave before in my experience) and you shouldn't feel guilty if you leave then. If the situation is so untenable that your daughter is miserable, then leave before it gets worse. If she isn't playing 60% of the time, and if you're not leaving the team in a bind (no subs, no chance they can field a team without her, etc.) then look at other situations. Just make sure whatever you choose to do is really a better situation, going through this again in a few months isn't good for you or your DD.

Rocketech1 · May 23, 2017

A few problems with daddy ball coached teams:

- there are no tryouts or cuts made for the coaches' kids, period;
- too many times coaches kids are along for the ride as the parents really push their kids to keep playing (because they love coaching) and are not really doing it for the best interest of the kids. I have seen this many times and its not pretty;

The positives for paid coach teams:

- In theory, there is no favoritism and all players have a shot at getting playing time and earning their positoins;
- There are tryouts and players get cut. This is huge, because the players that are on the team deserve to be there;
- Paid coaches bring a new perspective to the team and do not have the family biases and dynamics of a parent/child relationship;
- You get some new and different coaching philosophies, fundamental development, etc.; not the same daddy ball coaches, year after year who have shared everything they have;

One of the best things I did for DD when she wanted to play TB was get her on a team of paid coaches and away from daddy coached teams and I say this as a father who coached from 6u to1st yr. 12u. Sometimes you need to let go and have them experience the "real world", especially if its competitive sports.

I understand everyone doesn't have a lot of travel ball options, but if you do, I highly recommend you seek out quality teams with paid coaches whenever possible.

Crystal Brown · May 24, 2017

The first 3 TB teams DD played with consisted of daddy ball. Only the 1st team seemed more legit. Guess what...all 3 of them don't exist anymore.

Sent from my LG-H810 using Tapatalk

GunnerShotgun · May 24, 2017

Rocketech1 said:
A few problems with daddy ball coached teams:

- there are no tryouts or cuts made for the coaches' kids, period;
- too many times coaches kids are along for the ride as the parents really push their kids to keep playing (because they love coaching) and are not really doing it for the best interest of the kids. I have seen this many times and its not pretty;

The positives for paid coach teams:

- In theory, there is no favoritism and all players have a shot at getting playing time and earning their positoins;
- There are tryouts and players get cut. This is huge, because the players that are on the team deserve to be there;
- Paid coaches bring a new perspective to the team and do not have the family biases and dynamics of a parent/child relationship;
- You get some new and different coaching philosophies, fundamental development, etc.; not the same daddy ball coaches, year after year who have shared everything they have;

One of the best things I did for DD when she wanted to play TB was get her on a team of paid coaches and away from daddy coached teams and I say this as a father who coached from 6u to1st yr. 12u. Sometimes you need to let go and have them experience the "real world", especially if its competitive sports.

I understand everyone doesn't have a lot of travel ball options, but if you do, I highly recommend you seek out quality teams with paid coaches whenever possible.

I appreciate you sharing your experience; my experience has been just the opposite.

I think that marriard's post above sums it up well. Do your homework on any coach.

I think when the dividing line is Daddy Ball Vs. Paid Coach you are missing the bigger picture. Neither one is an indication of the quality of the coach.

In my opinion if all the coaches in the sport were paid coaches we would be doing these players a disservice. There are simply to many good coaches that have kids that are currently playing for them.

Lickety Split · May 25, 2017

sluggers said:
It is pretty clear to everyone that your DD needs to find another team.

Don't yell at the coach, don't make it personal. Just, "My DD is going to play for XYZ team. Thanks for everything. Good bye."

^^^^^^^

Life is short and so are her softball years. Be respectful and professional when you leave, but leave.

When is it ok to leave a TB team?

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