When is it ok to leave a TB team?

Find a team that fits her!

I've said this before but my dd was a great player in league and on her local travel team. So we moved to a "better " team. These coaches never had confidence in her and it showed. She stayed one year and then we came back to our local team and she is flourishing. (The other team lost 9 players in one year at various times if that says anything).

My point is find a team that fits your DD. Go have fun and remember its a marathon not a sprint.

We just went through this. Look, I'm all in for sticking it out but when it starts getting to be no fun, and your kid's confidence is getting destroyed, you need to look out for your child. My daughter thankfully landed on a team that values her and it is a great environment. It's like night and day. She's loving softball again. I'm so grateful.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Try to find a team with paid coaches that don't have a DD on the team....

i think a team 6 coaches is just asking for trouble. we left a team with 4 volunteer coaches to a 1 coach per team organization. most organized and no down time practices i've ever seen.

rev10 said:

i think a team 6 coaches is just asking for trouble. we left a team with 4 volunteer coaches to a 1 coach per team organization. most organized and no down time practices i've ever seen.

Click to expand...

I love going through a handshake line at the end of a game and seeing almost as many coaches as players come through the line.

We have 5. All dads. I am one. No daddy ball issues. B level team. One HC that makes all the calls unless he happens to ask our opinion.

Rocketech1 said:

Try to find a team with paid coaches that don't have a DD on the team....

Click to expand...

I respect this view, but it isn't always that easy. When DD was at the 12u level she had her choice of 3 teams that she tried out for and each had parent coaches. When she moved to 14u we had a better understanding of the landscape. We were very familiar with more than a dozen teams in a 50 mile radius, yet all still had parent coaches. Now currently at 18u, I know of a few that don't, but players would need to travel at least 90 minutes to play for those teams. So essentially many players have the choice of playing for a team coached by parents, or not playing at all. I'm sure some regions are different, and that is great... If that was available for DD, I'm sure she would have been on that type of team several years ago.

To the OP, I also believe it is time to move on based on your post. I am a strong believer that 10u and 12u are first and foremost about development. Sure, you still want to win. But the goal is to develop the player's ability and desire to continue to 14u and beyond. It is pretty clear that this is not happening. That said, players do need to learn that every position in the field and in the lineup is important. Playing the outfield is not a punishment. Batting 9th is not a punishment. The team I currently coach is filled with high school players that bat 1, 2, 3, or 4 for their high schools. Someone has to bat 9 for our team... It may not always be the same person, but it still has to happen.

DD played for a group of paid coaches last year.. no daddy ball but they were nasty to the girls.. Not to my DD or the other pitcher but if a kid made a simple error coach would stop the game and pull the kid and in some cases make them run while the game was still going on.

As you spend more time in the sport your Spidy senses will kick in during tryouts and you will be able to sniff out most of these types of coaches.
My advice is to stick it out and stay... As hard as it may be we need to teach the kids to be resilient in the face of adversity. Even when it's obvious to everyone that your kid is being treated unfairly.
My grandfather used to say.. "when your going through hell, just keep going".
My DD was treated like crap when she was 10-11.. never was allowed to pitch... Sat a ton.. in her case it made her work harder.. many tears but I believe that every experience these kids go through prepares them for the next challenge in life.

Some great advice above... Even if you stay make a list of teams​ for next year and you MUST attend a game or two of the those teams. You need to see it in action.
This year DD is with a great organization and we have 2 parent coaches. They are the very best coaches DD has ever had..

The Worst thing I ever did to my daughter was to encourage her to "stick it out" on her travel basketball team thru 4 years of middle school. (5-8 in our town)
Parents were not allowed at practices. 3 coaches were all about "the starting 5"- their DDs, one stud and one popular kid. How parents can coach like this and sleep at night is beyond me.

We just went through this. Look, I'm all in for sticking it out but when it starts getting to be no fun, and your kid's confidence is getting destroyed, you need to look out for your child. My daughter thankfully landed on a team that values her and it is a great environment. It's like night and day. She's loving softball again.

Click to expand...

You have paid your fee. You owe this team nothing. Let them continue on with their massive coaching staff and DDs, they'll survive without you. At the same time, you will Find another team that's a better fit and return to enjoying the game!

We left a program after 3 years at an important time in DDs career. Fortunately her pitching coach hooked us up with another team that just happened to need a player with DDs strengths. Season hasn't started yet but the chemistry between players and coach (1 coach) and players is fantastic! DD loves this team and loves practicing with them. Looking forward to first tournament in June!

It is pretty clear to everyone that your DD needs to find another team.

Don't yell at the coach, don't make it personal. Just, "My DD is going to play for XYZ team. Thanks for everything. Good bye."