No "team" in High School team

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obbay

Banned
Aug 21, 2008
2,199
0
Boston, MA
Our HS team is kind of cliquey and the coach isn't very good.

We are just past halfway thru the season and after DDs game last night, she confided in me that because she has heard that HS ball doesn't matter to college coaches, she's thinking of not playing on the team next year. She love softball, she loves to pracytice with her new TB team and she loves practicing Year round at the training facility, she loves to play. She has just had enough of this team.

She's also thinking she is a captain and next year is her senior year and she would maybe do some good fir the part of he team that is there to play.

I have mixed feelings. Ultimately, I guess I'm wondering if any of you have had this experience no how you handled it. Choosing not to play your senior year- could that be seen as a negative?
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
I know of a few committed HS players that did not play thier senior year after playing the 1st three years. They all cleared it with thier college 1st, the response was always that they did not care. If you read between the lines of 1 response a D1 was actually happy she would not be pitching for her HS senior year.

Socially, I have not heard of Issues but I am not sure I would.
 
Last edited:
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
I feel your pain. DD is in a very similar situation. She is a junior and a team captain. She has several close friends on the team. But there are also several others that do nothing but create drama and negativity. To make matters worse, DD is one of only two experienced travel ball players on the team, playing against district teams that average 10-12 travel ball players. Most games are non-competitive due to the number of errors that occur. It's been an ugly and painful season that has been even more difficult because of all the drama. By comparison, she is very close to the players on her travel team and there is no drama to speak of. All the girls have similar goals, and most are 2018 grads. Fortunately (or unfortunately...), many of them are having similar experiences at least with drama at their high schools, so they all comfort each other and look forward towards the first tournament.

After every high school game we have "the talk". While she is very stoic on the field and in the dugout, her emotions typically come out at home. She is frustrated, hurt, and sometimes pissed because some of the players make it clear that they just don't care. Depending on the day she goes from being motivated to make a difference with the younger players to just saying it isn't worth it and it's time to let go. I am very proud of her for how she handles herself at team events (games, practice, etc.). She does not allow her frustration to show and takes her captaincy very seriously. At this point she has one more week of games. I'm sure it will be another frustrating 7 days. But then it will be time to move on to travel ball practice and tournaments/showcases. By the end of the summer I expect most of this to be forgotten. She does an excellent job of remembering the good things and flushing the bad things, so I expect this to be no different. I have no doubt that after the last game we will have "the talk" again and she will say that she is glad the season is over and that she has no intention of playing next year. But by August I expect her to be looking forward toward her senior year of high school softball. Time does an amazing job of healing wounds.

From reading your posts, it seems to me like there are a lot of similarities between our DDs. I would suggest supporting her but try your best not to lead her in either direction. Allow her to make those decisions for herself. Once the season ends, it will do her some good to get away from the negativity. That is where her travel team will help her. Give it some time. I would not be surprised if she changes her mind by the time your travel ball season is over. One of the most difficult aspects of being a leader (captain) is recognizing that not everyone is going to be willing to follow. Focus on those that are willing to help the team and try not to worry about the rest.
 
Jun 22, 2008
3,731
113
She better get used to it if she is planning on playing college ball. Many times no different than high school ball, clique groups of players, coaches that dont care and dont want to be bothered.
 

ian

Jun 11, 2015
1,175
48
DD gets along great with her teammates. She hates the JV coach. He has spent the whole season criticizing her because she is the best. JV coach is moody uses her as his whipping girl. He doesn't know much about ball, practices are situations and talking most of the time. The team did not get any better through the season, looking at them I think collectively they got worse.

Varsity coach moved his freshman DD up. DD has always been better at every sport than his DD. DDs were friends in elementary school. The kids stopped playing together after the wives had a disagreement over whether or not softball players should be prematurely removed from the womb. DD liked the guy at the beginning of the season. He would smile and talk to her. Now she has learned that some people will smile to your face but stab you in the back. Valuable lesson.


Yeah I think DD is going to work on her sprinting start and running form on the track team next year. Softball at this high school is not for her. Sad when people entrusted with public jobs let their personal feelings dictate who plays where instead of honestly doing their job.
 
Last edited:

ian

Jun 11, 2015
1,175
48
She better get used to it if she is planning on playing college ball. Many times no different than high school ball, clique groups of players, coaches that dont care and dont want to be bothered.



Dammit! Are you telling me it is daddyball in college too??
 

obbay

Banned
Aug 21, 2008
2,199
0
Boston, MA
From reading your posts, it seems to me like there are a lot of similarities between our DDs. I would suggest supporting her but try your best not to lead her in either direction. Allow her to make those decisions for herself. Once the season ends, it will do her some good to get away from the negativity. That is where her travel team will help her. Give it some time. I would not be surprised if she changes her mind by the time your travel ball season is over. One of the most difficult aspects of being a leader (captain) is recognizing that not everyone is going to be willing to follow. Focus on those that are willing to help the team and try not to worry about the rest.

I think you have hit the nail on the head! in the mean time, i think some mentoring from older players who have been there-done that would help her deal with it and set reasonable expectations and goals..
thanks!
 

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