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Jan 25, 2011
2,282
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This isn't the question I really want to ask, but I need some opinion? My dds hs coach keeps hugging the younger players, freshmen, keeps is hands off the older girls the 3 seniors and 1 junior that tells my dd that she is creeped out by him. Not talking about standing off to the side but big real close hugs, no space if you know what I mean? He always has some smart comments that the girls find demeaning also. The senior captain told him that she doesn't like him telling the girls this saying. He keeps telling the to " pick up the pieces of their shattered little lives and move on. After the captain told him that, he made posters of his saying and put them up in the dugout and outside of the dugout. He is creepy if you ask me, but I would like to know what some of you think?
 
Jan 25, 2011
2,282
38
Ok this is something he said near me that I found inappropriate for him to say, but I'm also a dad. He was talking to his ac and said about a player that was having a bad day. That her little panties most be in a bunch.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
When I coached the boys and now that I coach the girls, I give them a hug once in a while. I hope I am not a creep. I get close with my players but not in a friends kind of way. Instead, when I give them a hug they have done something outstanding or they have done something really bad. I understand that times have changed. I never considered this a bad thing but now I guess it is. Nano, I don't blame you for feeling that it is strange. I think that you are pretty well balanced in your life and so, if this makes you uncomfortable, then there might be something there to watch for.
 
Jan 25, 2011
2,282
38
I see your point cannonball , but these hugs. Are out of the blue, before the games and he doesn't hug the few girls that are not to be mean, because all the girls are great but just lets say the more attractive younger girls. He hugs, not the girls that some my say aren't as attractive. I myself believe that they are Gods children and are beautiful.
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
That is not acceptable. What if it was a male teacher doing that with female students in his classroom? A high 5 or fist bump should be the extent of any physical contact between the coach and players. Male or Female it makes no difference. The only exception would be maybe moving a hand or foot into the correct position when demonstrating a skill or drill.

The panties comment and poster scream BULLY!!! BULLY!!! BULLY!!! to me. The AD and/or school administration needs to be made aware of his inappropriate contact. If it "creeps" the girls out it is too aggressive.
 

Me_and_my_big_mouth

witty softball quote
Sep 11, 2014
437
18
Pacific NW
This isn't the question I really want to ask, but I need some opinion? My dds hs coach keeps hugging the younger players, freshmen, keeps is hands off the older girls the 3 seniors and 1 junior that tells my dd that she is creeped out by him. Not talking about standing off to the side but big real close hugs, no space if you know what I mean? He always has some smart comments that the girls find demeaning also. The senior captain told him that she doesn't like him telling the girls this saying. He keeps telling the to " pick up the pieces of their shattered little lives and move on. After the captain told him that, he made posters of his saying and put them up in the dugout and outside of the dugout. He is creepy if you ask me, but I would like to know what some of you think?
Would *you* behave like that, with someone else's daughter? None of the men in my life would.

Young women are impressionable and look to the adults in their lives for examples. Our DD's absolutely MUST be taught to set clear boundaries, and to trust their instincts. When a woman tells you, "This behavior creeps me out," listen and then act.

This coach is a grown man; he should know better. Even if he has nothing but good intentions - if even ONE young woman says NO, then by God it's NO.

Being uncomfortable with someone else touching us is normal and warranted, and if he insists on the behavior even after being set straight, you may have a problem.

At any rate, your DD needs your support and for you - the primary man in her life - to validate her creep radar and make sure you have her back. You're helping her learn her boundaries and the confidence to stand by them, because unfortunately it may be her first time facing unwanted attention, but sadly won't be her last.

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Mar 1, 2015
131
0
Someone needs to intervene now. Not saying anything wrong is going on, some people are just more touchy feely than others. But it is a warning sign and needs to be addressed before mugshots are on the 6 o'clock news.
 

softgabby

Gear Empress
Mar 10, 2016
1,073
83
Just behind home plate
This isn't the question I really want to ask, but I need some opinion? My dds hs coach keeps hugging the younger players, freshmen, keeps is hands off the older girls the 3 seniors and 1 junior that tells my dd that she is creeped out by him. Not talking about standing off to the side but big real close hugs, no space if you know what I mean? He always has some smart comments that the girls find demeaning also. The senior captain told him that she doesn't like him telling the girls this saying. He keeps telling the to " pick up the pieces of their shattered little lives and move on. After the captain told him that, he made posters of his saying and put them up in the dugout and outside of the dugout. He is creepy if you ask me, but I would like to know what some of you think?

My old high school coach was a hugger and we accepted that she did it. It never seemed creepy to us. Of course she wasn't making the rest of us feel uncomfortable either. She treated all of us like we were her daughters. Our current coach isn't really a hugger. He will hug a celebratory hug but that's the extent of it and it's usually a short hug.

This coach of yours seems creepy to me and I'm just going off of what I'm hearing. He's also showing some favoritism in doing it to younger players. The comments to me are more unnerving than the hugging. I mean saying a player "has her panties in a bunch" just seems very insensitive to me. I mean he must not be thinking that she could be frustrated about something at home, school or the game. Could it be her time of the month. I know I'm moody when it's that time. The quote you say about is unnerving too. What if the girl he's talking about is having mental health issues? If he's making posters of this and is hanging it in the locker room and in the dugout...it's sending the wrong message.

I think the coach needs to readjust his approach before he starts losing girls...because I'd quit the team if I played for him.

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Mar 20, 2014
918
28
Northwest
In my experience trust the girl's creep radar. At the end of the day, even if he doesn't mean anything by doing it and it makes them uncomfortable then it still isn't okay...
 

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