No Little League this year

My daughter (a pitcher) is 13 this year. When she was 9, 10 and 11- we did the Little League rec games& a season of allstars (that went on to the state tournaments & usually lasted almost the whole summer).

Last year (12)- we played the Little League rec season games, but skipped allstars and lucked into the perfect travel tournament team (for us) imaginable. We ended up doing 10 tournaments instead of allstars. It was good.
===================================================================

This year- she said she doesn't want to even play the Little League rec season at all. So we didn't sign her up, and so she's not playing. And I'm having a hard time getting over it. !!!!! I need someone to set me straight and help me stop thinking this a big deal.

Any help?

We have 7 tournaments already scheduled with the new travel tournament team (potentially 4 more), but the first one isn't until the middle of May.

She won't join school ball until next year (9th). We have no middle school team. Little league rec games are the only way (I see) for her to "test" her pitching before the tournaments mid-May.

We had no fall tournaments. No winter tournaments. Nothing until mid-May. The rest of her teammates all seem to be doing a rec season this spring. So I was really hoping for at least some Little League games before May. !!!! ARGH :-(

I can't stop being upset about it.

**In my defense- her dad & I did say we were going to let it up to her and not even ask her why. and we haven't. Haven't said anything to her or asked her why not (there is definitely a lot of adult drama and bad coaches and I'm sure she doesn't enjoy playing against her friends- so we can kinda already imagine the reasons she doesn't want to play). Maybe she just wants to play less softball even.

But... I'm trying not to be upset about it anymore, and it's not working. I can't get rid of this feeling that we are going to regret it. Maybe the reason is just because I was just so used to going to Little League games for 6 years? I don't know.

Anyone else choose to skip Little league rec games & do tournament games only and is really happy with their decision? I'll take any advice on this. Thanks.

I have never care too much if she played SB but she has to do something with spare time, play an instrument anything.

No sitting around playing mine craft all day.

My daughter skipped Little League last year when she was in 8th grade, and it was the BEST decision ever! My daughter sounds just like yours...she's a pitcher, made all stars, went to states and regionals a couple of times. But between the bad coaching, the drama, and all the trash talking that went on, she just did not want to play town softball anymore. I do think she was a little behind in terms of pitching compared to prior years when she played town ball, but the stress-free spring was well worth it! Believe me, I know what you're going through but hopefully it will turn out to be something positive like it was for us!

I'll be one to admit that I do miss LL. After 12U we just could never get enough girls to play Juniors so after 12 they were done. We had pretty much the same all-star team for 3 years and we had them play in travel tourneys before Districts. The families spent a lot of time together and for the most part, all got along really well. Honestly there is something pretty special about a group of local girls sticking together through the years and making it to States and beyond. Those are some of my fondest memories as a coach and DD's fondest memories as a player. She's played TB now x 3 years. Of course winning those tourneys is a lot of fun too but it's just different. Very difficult to explain unless you've done both.

I miss LL, too.

The LL wasn't quite as good as the OP's.

In the old days they had all-star teams for 10U, 12U and 14U. They would each play in 2 tournaments every year, and have a great time. In the old days, even the girls on TB teams would arrange their schedules so that they could play on the all-stars. Sometimes the all-star teams were really good, and would serve as the basis for TB teams, some of which still exist.

2012 was the last year the local LL had more than one 14U team, and also an all-star team. I checked the trophies DD 1 got those years. Lots of fun for her. She said the team she was most proud of was her 14U all-star team.

After that, the TB girls pretty much stopped playing in 14U. DD 1 played 14U in the fall of 2012, and they were basically a rec league team with a few TB girls playing in a league with real tournament teams (granted some were C level, but they were real TB teams). They lost every game, DD 1 didn't return for the spring, and the local LL's 14U team has lost every game they've played starting late August of 2012.

So when DD 3 had the chance to play 14U LL, she didn't.

At a certain point the better players out grow rec leagues. Embrace travel ball and don't look back.

DD played rec ball from age 6 to age 12. She didn't even consider travel ball the first few years. To be honest, I didn't even know about travel ball until DD was 10. She tried out and was selected for travel ball teams at age 10 and age 11 but decided against it. She felt that she wanted more than rec, but the teams she tried out for were planning 14+ tournaments and she felt like that was too much. During her age 11 year, she decided to try out for the All-Star team. She played and absolutely LOVED it. It was a great experience for her. It was that experience that made her mind up about playing travel ball. While she enjoyed rec ball because it was all her friends, there were only 2 or 3 other girls that were as dedicated to softball as she was. When she made the all start team, things were completely different. Rec practice was scheduled for 2 or 3 nights per week and the kids left as soon as practice was over. All-star practice was nightly, and no one would leave until it got dark out. Practice would end and the players just stayed. This opened DD's eyes and cemented that it was time to move on. She tried out for several travel teams as a 2nd year 12u and was offered spots on each. She decided to play rec ball during that year as well, and it was a huge let down for her. Yeah, it was her friends, and she enjoyed certain aspects of it. But the practices didn't change. 2 or 3 girls would stick around and do extra work, but the rest didn't have the same level of commitment. Then she would go to travel practice and there was a completely different attitude. After that season was over, she never considered playing rec ball again. She has played travel ever since. Looking back on it, while nothing bad happened, I am quite confident she could have skipped that final season of rec ball without missing it.

My father taught me an important lesson about child-parent relationships.

When DD#1 was a toddler, I would always "make" her do things...do down the slide, go swing. I would tell her what to do.

My father, on the other hand, would simply follow her. He was there to make sure she didn't get hurt. But, besides that, he didn't interfere. Of course, DD#1 would play in water, pick up sticks, compare acorns, look at dandelions, and chase ducks.

The thing is, my dad had more fun. When was the last time he chased butterflies or picked dandelions? He was doing things that he hadn't done for 50 or 60 years, and having a blast. I have tried to emulate him more as I get older...and it is more fun to see where your child takes you rather than where you take your child.

DD#3 quit softball her sophomore HS. And, I was heartbroken. She wanted to play tennis and basketball. I let her do what she wanted, but we did the "right" way. She got lessons, played summer hoops, got a personal coach, etc.

Six years after that, her team won the D3 National Basketball Championship. Last year, Hope College honored the 10th anniversary of their win. This is her playing in the alumni game.

What tragedy it would have been had I forced her to play softball.

Great for her, but what sort of bat does she use to hit the basketball?

Or is it the opposing players?

I wouldn't worry much about missing the rec league. Instead take her to the fields and practice on your own time, you can accomplish more in a half hour of practicing on your own than you would accomplish in a two hour rec league practice. Go in the back yard and practice pitching, or better yet get a couple of the travel players to meet you for some live batting practice when the fields are not being used. If you got a catcher that can work with you for live batting that is great but a Bownet will work pretty good to. You could even go buy a set of adult size catchers gear and you can be the catcher.