How to deal with losing?
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And, let me guess...all that crying and hugging resulted in...nothing. The score didn't change. They still lost.
Sounds like your DD has her priorities straight. The game is over, and there are no do-overs. Move on.
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- Jun 12, 2015
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That would not go over well with mine at all either. She can't relate to not wanting to play another game no matter how many she's played already. I admit there have been times when we've lost and *I* have been not particularly upset about it because I was ready to go home. I always feel a little bad about feeling that way.
I don't have a problem with kids crying and hugging. It just means that they care.
Not that you said otherwise, but I hope no one is saying that to cry and hug = pouting, poor self-esteem or bad sportsmanship. There's a fine line, I guess.
- Feb 15, 2017
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I think it all depends if she is bothered by it, compartmentalizes it, and uses it as motivation to get better. If it truly doesn't bother her then I would be worried. I tell my kids all the time that once it goes under your glove you can't ever get it back and that what you choose to do next determines how successful you will be.
My DD is in the first camp, like yours. When the game is over she doesn't look back as long as she gave it her best. The best part is when she plays terrible, eats supper, and on the way home (completely on her own) asks to go work on whatever she struggled with. That is #winning.
Usually DQ!
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I do not see the kids who throw their helmets and pout as the same kids who cry after a devastating defeat. Usually the pouters are whining about their own performance (or lack thereof).
In my experience, Younger kids who cry over a loss are doing so because they are (sometimes) more passionate about the game than others, and it is kind of a natural outlet for the frustration for them. Also, they don't cry after every loss, just the ones that were important to them for whatever reason. Let 'em cry and hug, there's nothing wrong with acting like a kid once in awhile.
then there are kids who cry too easily- I can't help you there. used to have kid who would always tear up out of frustration when she wasn't playing well. used to bug the hell out of me!
Also, as the girl grows up, she learns to deal with the loss without crying.
I have heard more than a few college coaches say that one of the things they look at when watching a player is how they respond after a loss. They do not want to see that kid sporting a carefree attitude. They want to be able to tell she just lost. a lot of kids just don't care that much. (especially on a sunday and they want out of there)
In the WCWS brackets, everytime a team is "2 and Q" there are plenty of tears.
In my experience, Younger kids who cry over a loss are doing so because they are (sometimes) more passionate about the game than others, and it is kind of a natural outlet for the frustration for them. Also, they don't cry after every loss, just the ones that were important to them for whatever reason. Let 'em cry and hug, there's nothing wrong with acting like a kid once in awhile.
then there are kids who cry too easily- I can't help you there. used to have kid who would always tear up out of frustration when she wasn't playing well. used to bug the hell out of me!
Also, as the girl grows up, she learns to deal with the loss without crying.
I have heard more than a few college coaches say that one of the things they look at when watching a player is how they respond after a loss. They do not want to see that kid sporting a carefree attitude. They want to be able to tell she just lost. a lot of kids just don't care that much. (especially on a sunday and they want out of there)
In the WCWS brackets, everytime a team is "2 and Q" there are plenty of tears.
Man, I wish DD could just let it go that easy lol. Her competitiveness can get the best of her from time to time. I think all loses are not created equal though. I will say that it has gotten better with age, but she still gets mad after an elimination loss. Having good team mates that pick each other up has made a huge difference. She doesn't cry though. The only time I ever seen her cry on the ball field was after her team won their first tournament. I was floored when I seen her crying lol, but it took 5 years of travel ball before she was on a team that won so it was kind of a big deal.
- Aug 6, 2013
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I relate to the crying to easy - that is me to a T and my daughter has unfortunately inherited that trait from me. She doesn't pout or blame others and I certainly don't think of her as a "crybaby loser" when she cries because I know that is her main outlet of emotion. She does tend to tear up when she makes a mistake and we are working hard on stopping that - but she is 11 and her hormones are CRAZY now. She is trying to learn how to work through those as well as trying to perform to the best of her ability for her team. That can stress someone out and, again, like me, she will cry even when she is angry. Now I haven't seen her cry when she is happy - like me, maybe that will come soon enough. Hell, I cry at commercials on TV.....
There are plenty of times she doesn't cry but she has been known to cry after a championship game loss.....
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