The Right Reasons

I took my daughter to a camp in Iowa this weekend and as we (just her and I) were driving down the highway I thought to myself, "this is so much more than just softball or the hopes of a college scholarship". It's about spending quality, "one on one" time with my daughter and that's the way it's always been for me. I continue to spend countless hours sitting on a bucket catching her, coaching her, talking to her and most importantly, listening to her. We talk about everything during those times. Schoolwork, her friends, her life.

All those trips to tournaments, camps and practices have always been very good Father/Daughter bonding time and I'll truly miss it when it's gone. Oh, don't get me wrong, we share so much more than softball so when it's over we'll still go fishing, we'll still watch movies, we'll still just hang out but softball has provided us the time and the ability to hang out more often.

It hasn't always been pretty, like the time we were practicing in the tunnel at Blue Springs High School (she was maybe 10?) and a basketball team was practicing down below. Well, her effort wasn't very good that day and I just blew up . I grabbed my bucket and threw it across the tunnel and it slid out the back and slammed up against the wall and I hollered at her to put in more effort! She told me to quiet down because everyone could hear me. I told her, "I don't care who hears me"!! As I picked up my bucket and I turned around I saw her laughing at me. I asked her, "what are you laughing at"? And she said, "Dad, I don't know how to take you, you're funny". We both started laughing and she came over and sat on my knee and I told her, "I've never loved you more than I do right now".

I learned a lot that day. Don't take it so serious, they're not. Have fun with your daughter because they grow up awful fast. Make great memories and as you're driving down the highway and they have their headsets on seemingly not listening to you, just know they really are.

Don't do it for any other reason other than, you just love to hang out with your daughter.

Rod Burghart

Hey Rod,

I am extremely happy for you because I know the things you are doing will last far beyond the day she hangs up her cleats.

I too, did as you. Dad and daughter traveling to tournaments, camps, clinics, and college visits. My wife is a soldier, so she deployed, traveled, and did her duty to the army, which left me with the fun stuff, of sports and coaching. My daughter is 19, about to be 20. She lives in Illinois, while we live in Texas now. Many a time she would refer to me as her "best friend". We would talk about the game, the team, school, boys, and her friends. It was prime opportunity to give advice or plays devil's advocate and just let her sort out life in terms she could understand and apply. And just the other day, she said that she really misses the "car talks" and I knew exactly what she meant, because I miss them too. The memories of those times are so important to my daughter. I am proud of the young, strong, independent woman she has become. She is focused in school and work and doing well. My wife has expressed her jealousy about how strong our relationship is.

So to all the "Bucket Dads", I say this... You have a unique opportunity to build a bond that is stronger than any metal and more beautiful than any diamond. Enjoy these moments for you are on the path to change the world.

Bill

I'm with you except now DD puts on the headphones for most of the ride...

Bill,

Please tell your wife THANK YOU for your service. My family really appreciates the sacrifice she makes for us. And we don't forget about the sacrifice you and your kids make as well. That can be pretty tough on a family, so thank you.

It sounds like you and your daughter truly have a great relationship and it's because you took advantage of the opportunity you were given. Because of that, she's in a great place right now and believe me, it's not just about the sport or activity, it's so much more than that. Great job!

Thanks for the great reply and advice. It's always good to hear from good people.

Take care,

Rod

I hear ya Obbay. That's frustrating huh? It's ok, she's still listening, trust me . So keep talking to her!

Rod

Nice post! Which school were you at? DD is at ISU and they had camps last weekend. I know UNI and I’m sure several others did too though.

Oh cool. I bet she really likes it up there. We were at Graceland University in Lamoni, IA.

All those trips to tournaments, camps and practices have always been very good Father/Daughter bonding time

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My DD was narcoleptic in the car. She would sleep all the way there and back. Her pillow, stuffed animal and blanket was all she needed. She was a happy camper in the car.

Great thread. I do love every minute I spend with my DD on softball stuff. The best moments are when it's just the two of us on a car ride, or pitching, or just goofing off a little while we practice a few things on a Sunday afternoon. I hope when she's all grown up we'll still break out the gloves and throw the ball a bit.

I love the car rides. Talking about life, sharing info, discussing the future. My DDs are my buddies when we're in the car. And they've become surprisingly good navigators, which has come in handy more than once.