Balancing softball/life

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Feb 20, 2015
643
0
illinois
How does everyone, as parents, balance always being at the softball field every weekend versus doing your own activities? I personally love being at the field, love watching the game, love watching DD play. DW...not so much. She is not too thrilled that every weekend from beginning of June to the end of July is booked.

DDs team has been playing well lately. Mid B level team. Won a small tournament last weekend. Playing in a tournament with 13 teams in our age group this coming weekend. Obviously don't have a schedule yet for bracket play on Sunday. Friend of mine asked me to play golf Sunday. I told him, at first, that I would have to check softball schedule, and thought about it for a while. I decided to go ahead and golf. Haven't seen this group of guys, other than my good friend, for more than a year.

So, my question/dilemma is this.....Should I feel guilty about missing games on Sunday? Would you feel guilty about missing games on Sunday??? DD only has two more seasons of softball then it will be over, so I try to be there as much as possible.
 
Feb 4, 2015
127
0
Olathe, KS
You either have softball or a life. You cannot have both:eek: Seriously, though, you have to plan, plan, plan. With three that play, and for a while only having one car, we became scheduling experts by necessity. Sometimes you just have to block out some me time.

I am a golfer and was a pretty good one. I have given up many a tee time due to softball or baseball, but this only last a very short period of time and I would not miss my kids playing for anything. Most of us are not that good at golf anyway and I will have plenty of time to chase the little white ball around the field after my kids are done playing. It is not that I do not play anymore it is just I have other priorities now.

Should you feel guilty? NO. Will you feel guilty? YES
 

Me_and_my_big_mouth

witty softball quote
Sep 11, 2014
437
18
Pacific NW
We had a huge eye-opener when our DD's HS team went to State this year. We were not allowed to really interact much with her. They rode over together on the bus, stayed together at the hotel, and hung out all weekend with each other. We actually ended up going through airbnb and found a little place near the fields. It was luxurious! No early morning chaos, no, "where's my purple bow," no making breakfast at 5 am for 7am field time. Just coffee, newspaper, then a quick drive to watch them play.

I felt guilty for a minute. Then DD came home and had so many stories to tell us! We sat down at our table, had a snack, and she talked for an hour about her experiences and her successes. She had separated herself from us - and she was excited about it!

Now, she has told us that she doesn't mind if we miss a game here and there. She doesn't want us watching her practices or offering insights about her play. She wants to share those highlights with us, her way. We have been surprised at some of the things she found noteworthy, and also at some of the stuff she has left out. It has helped us learn more about our kid. :)

It occurred to me that I may have been putting too much importance on being there all the time, and not enough on letting her gain some independence. On Father's Day, DH went shooting with DS, and I went to a tournament. DD was excited to share details with DH when he came to late games, and she was not even slightly bothered that he wasn't there for the morning.

Your DD loves you and probably understands more than you give her credit for. Go golf! Then pull up a chair at the dinner table and dig in to her version of the day. :) It's about quality time, not quantity.
 
Dec 17, 2015
118
16
Chesapeake, VA
As someone who just started off with an 8U player, my friends have adjusted. They know it's softball season and try to schedule things on Sunday. When the family wants to go to a theme park, we do it on Sundays or after an early game on Saturday. My honeydo list is completed in the off season, ie June-August. Fall ball, school, and other board member duties start back up. Currently painting DD room, resurfacing our end tables, sand and paint the back door, softball reef for frontdoor, and organize the garage again. Plus the board will be doing stuff during the summer.

Missing a game or two on Sundays shouldn't make or break anything. You have to be able to keep friendships as well. It's a tough balancing act though.
 
Nov 3, 2012
480
16
Sofball life, You can check out anytime you want, but you can never leave. But seriously, forget the traditional vacation to National parks and museums. Maybe add a day of vacation to your softball trip as a vacation day if you can get away with it at work.
 
Dec 1, 2015
26
3
Southern IL
I think you give your kids as much as you can but you still have to make time for yourself. If you make 90% of the games she will remember that, not the one time you missed. Make sure you get updates and let her know you are following her and there for her even though you aren't sitting in the collapsible chair. Having a older DD who wants nothing to do with ball we have been there also.
 

WARRIORMIKE

Pro-Staff Everything
Oct 5, 2009
2,815
48
At the Jewel in San Diego
Softball is Life.........


I look at my dd today and realize how much of a better person she is at 14 now then I will ever be. Her grades are awesome, and her willingness to move forward in this sport is what keeps me excited. What sports has taught her and what she has gained in life is more then what some adults get. I feel privileged to have raised an athlete. The day WILL come and it will be over.........


I've dropped a lot of my personal stuff and catered to my dd. All I want from her is to go to College. Either on a Academic Scholarship or Athletic ( not online college either, a real college) :)
 
Jun 11, 2013
2,619
113
Trust me, your DD will be fine if you miss a few games. The question is will you be fine when you miss her first HR or her shutting down the number one seed? Can you handle getting vague texts from DW saying she "had a great hit". You respond with "was it a single or a Double". 20 minutes later you hear that "it was caught by the CF". getting scores that don't make sense or are just estimates. "It's 3-2 us", 10 minutes later "Losing 4-1"? If you can handle that go ahead and play some golf.
 

rdbass

It wasn't me.
Jun 5, 2010
9,131
83
Not here.
My DD is probably playing her last summer of tourney ball. DD will play in college and may 'guess' play for her old tourney team here and there. I will be sad. I have spent every weekend watching her play softball for a long time. I will miss it a lot. So, think about that.......
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
We had a huge eye-opener when our DD's HS team went to State this year. We were not allowed to really interact much with her. They rode over together on the bus, stayed together at the hotel, and hung out all weekend with each other. We actually ended up going through airbnb and found a little place near the fields. It was luxurious! No early morning chaos, no, "where's my purple bow," no making breakfast at 5 am for 7am field time. Just coffee, newspaper, then a quick drive to watch them play.

I felt guilty for a minute. Then DD came home and had so many stories to tell us! We sat down at our table, had a snack, and she talked for an hour about her experiences and her successes. She had separated herself from us - and she was excited about it!

Now, she has told us that she doesn't mind if we miss a game here and there. She doesn't want us watching her practices or offering insights about her play. She wants to share those highlights with us, her way. We have been surprised at some of the things she found noteworthy, and also at some of the stuff she has left out. It has helped us learn more about our kid. :)

It occurred to me that I may have been putting too much importance on being there all the time, and not enough on letting her gain some independence. On Father's Day, DH went shooting with DS, and I went to a tournament. DD was excited to share details with DH when he came to late games, and she was not even slightly bothered that he wasn't there for the morning.

Your DD loves you and probably understands more than you give her credit for. Go golf! Then pull up a chair at the dinner table and dig in to her version of the day. :) It's about quality time, not quantity.

Not about softball but I thought this article relevant regarding parenting in the 21st century in relation to how it used to be when I was a kid in the 70's and early 80's. Sometimes kids need to be able to really feel like they are growing up
and that can only come by letting go a bit...

Is this the perfect playground, full of junk? | Life and style | The Guardian
 

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