Parenting tip

BuckeyeGuy said:

I would like to add a caveat to this for those of us with kids with developmental and/or medical issues:

Sometimes that athlete you think is uncoachable, disrespectful, or lazy is simply different, and may need a different coaching approach.

Just throwing that out there. My DD ran into a hitting coach this summer that just flat intimidated her (not through anything he did, she just reacted poorly to his style, and she does have issues we are working through with her doctor). He pulled me aside to tell me how she's uncoachable. That really made me sit down and try to be as objective as I could regarding my DD. I determined that he was both right and wrong, and that it was up to me to put her into a position to benefit from coaches who know more than I do.

It's definitely a process.

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If you've coached for any length of time you'll find a player or two with whom you have trouble communicating/connecting with. I know I have. When I see that happening I will take the parent to the side and tell them I don't feel like I'm reaching or connecting with their child. Then I will quietly ask if there any special conditions I should know about or is there a "best" way for their child to learn. Some kids are visual, some physical, some need more confidence building while others need to be challenged. The trick is finding the path to take them on when teaching them.

I try to approach every player with the thought that I can and will find a way to teach them. I have never told a parent their child was uncoachable. I always want to feel as though I've done my best with every player I've worked with.

BuckeyeGuy said:

Sometimes that athlete you think is uncoachable, disrespectful, or lazy is simply different, and may need a different coaching approach.

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Sometimes you need to figure out what motivates a kid. I had one on my baseball team a few years ago who would roll his eyes and shake his head and mutter every time you asked him to do something differently. One day I was doing some 1-1 with my pitchers, and I said to him, "I like you, you throw hard. I'm going to teach you how to throw even harder." His eyes lit up and he was all ears.

Good sign, but I think a better message would be ‘’this is about the kids, not the parents.’’ The first part expressed that. But if my child is not resilient on the softball field, and my first thought is that this doesn’t reflect well on me, then it’s about me. All kids are a work in progress. There are many reasons beyond parenting that one kid might be more resilient or hard-working than another, as I’ve seen girls with the same parents who had nearly opposite attitudes about working hard and being resilient on the softball field.

So while parents are indeed huge in their kids’ character development, I would just be careful not to go overboard on the ‘’they are a reflection of you’’ theme. The focus should be the kid, not the reflection.

CoogansBluff said:

Good sign, but I think a better message would be ‘’this is about the kids, not the parents.’’ The first part expressed that. But if my child is not resilient on the softball field, and my first thought is that this doesn’t reflect well on me, then it’s about me. All kids are a work in progress. There are many reasons beyond parenting that one kid might be more resilient or hard-working than another, as I’ve seen girls with the same parents who had nearly opposite attitudes about working hard and being resilient on the softball field.

So while parents are indeed huge in their kids’ character development, I would just be careful not to go overboard on the ‘’they are a reflection of you’’ theme. The focus should be the kid, not the reflection.

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I don't disagree with your points. That said, my take from the sign is that it's about building the character of your child athlete rather than focusing on results.

Yeah...that was my take on it. As with all things in life, focus on the process and results take care of themselves. Focus on results and some bad choices can be made and bad behaviors encouraged.

Eric F said:

I don't disagree with your points. That said, my take from the sign is that it's about building the character of your child athlete rather than focusing on results.

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I agree that this was the point of the sign, so I have no problem w/ it really. Just making a side point of my own.