Dad's pitch calling doesn't matter in most games, only close ones. she pitched 25 innings, and two other girls each pitched 16 last fall, so she had less than half the innings. She also only pitched 2 out of 5 innings in our championship game, which he almost managed to lose by calling pitches we all know she has no control over in 3-1 counts, predictably walking girls. The 3 coaches unanimously agree that the pitcher and catcher would call a better game than he would. Anyway, thanks for all the comments! Much appreciated.
Dealing with a delusional parent who thinks he is a coach
- Thread starter Benny13082
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There seems to be a fair amount of consensus that we need to take back control and not let the father dictate. Deep down, I knew that's what needed to be done. Other parents and kids definitely view him as a problem to the point that he applied to be the head coach of his daughter's team when we split last year, but the association wouldn't allow it because too many parents said they wouldn't let their daughters play for him. The correct move obviously would have been to never let it happen in the first place, but hindsight and all.
We've also been getting a good bit of flack for still playing 'rec' ball, so let me try and explain that a bit because it doesn't sound like the rec you all are referring to is the same here. There are usually between 22 and 26 teams, of which a decent number (maybe 8 or so) have a travel ball pitcher as their main pitcher. There are teams that half of their players or more also play on a travel team. We don't roll over the competition, in fact, the only time we have this whole team together is when we are on the younger side of the age group (for example, being all 13 year olds this year in a 14U league). Also, more than half of our girls could still play 12U having birthdays after January. The fall league where we were now infamously 15-0 was made up of some true rec teams, some B level travel teams and one higher end travel team. We won the championship game 6-4. I'm sure it was never meant to be implied that we were rolling over everyone, just the rarity of having a team this good that are all from the same school and same grade in a tiny town.
I want to thank everyone for their input on this. The depth of knowledge and experience on this board is invaluable. Oh, and to the above poster, we feel like we went 15-0 despite his pitch calling, not because of it.
We've also been getting a good bit of flack for still playing 'rec' ball, so let me try and explain that a bit because it doesn't sound like the rec you all are referring to is the same here. There are usually between 22 and 26 teams, of which a decent number (maybe 8 or so) have a travel ball pitcher as their main pitcher. There are teams that half of their players or more also play on a travel team. We don't roll over the competition, in fact, the only time we have this whole team together is when we are on the younger side of the age group (for example, being all 13 year olds this year in a 14U league). Also, more than half of our girls could still play 12U having birthdays after January. The fall league where we were now infamously 15-0 was made up of some true rec teams, some B level travel teams and one higher end travel team. We won the championship game 6-4. I'm sure it was never meant to be implied that we were rolling over everyone, just the rarity of having a team this good that are all from the same school and same grade in a tiny town.
I want to thank everyone for their input on this. The depth of knowledge and experience on this board is invaluable. Oh, and to the above poster, we feel like we went 15-0 despite his pitch calling, not because of it.
Not sure I would recommend holding back 9 girls from playing TB because you do not think 4 of the 13 are capable of playing at that level. Your HS team will benefit more from having 9 girls who played TB than having 13 girls who played REC...
If these 9 girls play travel tournaments and can hold their own, why do they go back to REC ball? I know REC ball varies in different areas of the country, but once my DD started playing TB, REC was not going to be very challenging and she would have quickly become bored.
I explained a little above, but I will try again. There are quality pitchers in this league. For every travel quality pitcher we face, we may face 2 teams where the talent is lacking. We will face anywhere from 6 to 7 travel quality pitchers in a 16 game rec season. We can use those games for girls working on secondary positions, sometime we will invert the batting order to get girls hitting towards the bottom more at bats etc. I'm sure you have seen plenty of non-travel ball quality pitchers in actual travel tournaments. You have to understand that we are starting from scratch. The youth and high school programs here have been lacking for so long, that playing pure travel ball is almost unheard of in this district. Believe it or not, just doing the tournaments we do is a big step forward girls in our youth program. I know we have strayed away from the original topic more to whether we should be playing 'REC' or not, not to mention this was created in the wrong forum anyway (for that matter, if someone has the ability to move this to the coaching forum, that would be great). It may be more accurate to call it a local league that doesn't have all travel quality teams. Example is the team that has more state title appearances than any other in our state plays in this league. They don't allow any of their girls to play travel ball. They stay together as a team all the way through high school. May seem short sighted, but it clearly works for them.
obbay
Banned
Tough crowd!
not everyone comes from an area where softball is big. where I live it appears to be dieing. you need to think too much, it requires too many skills and its much easier to play other sports that are now available. if you want to play AAU Soccer or Basketball, those seasons are simultaneous with Softball/baseball.
these two guys seem to have put themselves in a bad position that they obviously wouldn't have done if they knew then what they know now.
DD was on a team once where the Head Coach's DD saw a pitching coach that said you "just need to work through the difficult times" that arise in games (or at least that was his take on it). so the team stood by patiently as she walked-in 14 runs. one of several painful games to watch. I walked out behind them and the pitcher and her father were complaining that there was nothing she could do about that loss, the team didn't back her up. somebody must've made an error on one of the few hits that game. you have 9 players on the field, it is not time for the pitcher to work on her pitches, it's time to be a pitcher and get the side out.
Rec Ball/TB WHATEVER! you are doing what you feel is best for the team. that being said, this is probably a good time to expand into TB. Girls change a lot from 12 on, even more so from 14 on. TB isn't for everyone, but you could ease into it (sounds like you've already tested the waters) and see how it goes. If you do your own team, you can have more control over costs too. we did that and it worked out pretty good, though when we joined an established program, many of the parents were furious over the increase in cost, but they could all afford it. the ones who couldn't kept quiet. (we still helped them out)
ever see the LL world series? that's Rec softball. do they suck?
not everyone comes from an area where softball is big. where I live it appears to be dieing. you need to think too much, it requires too many skills and its much easier to play other sports that are now available. if you want to play AAU Soccer or Basketball, those seasons are simultaneous with Softball/baseball.
these two guys seem to have put themselves in a bad position that they obviously wouldn't have done if they knew then what they know now.
DD was on a team once where the Head Coach's DD saw a pitching coach that said you "just need to work through the difficult times" that arise in games (or at least that was his take on it). so the team stood by patiently as she walked-in 14 runs. one of several painful games to watch. I walked out behind them and the pitcher and her father were complaining that there was nothing she could do about that loss, the team didn't back her up. somebody must've made an error on one of the few hits that game. you have 9 players on the field, it is not time for the pitcher to work on her pitches, it's time to be a pitcher and get the side out.
Rec Ball/TB WHATEVER! you are doing what you feel is best for the team. that being said, this is probably a good time to expand into TB. Girls change a lot from 12 on, even more so from 14 on. TB isn't for everyone, but you could ease into it (sounds like you've already tested the waters) and see how it goes. If you do your own team, you can have more control over costs too. we did that and it worked out pretty good, though when we joined an established program, many of the parents were furious over the increase in cost, but they could all afford it. the ones who couldn't kept quiet. (we still helped them out)
- Jun 12, 2015
- 3,848
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Touche. I am only familiar with the rec ball in my area.
- Nov 18, 2013
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It’s pretty clear you guys are on the right path seeking and being open to advice here. I know its hard to “punish the kid” for the deeds of the parent, but sometimes its gotta be done. When parents become that big of a cancer you have to cut them loose or your good parents will start leaving. Who wants to be on a team where one guy has his own rules just because he’s a jerk?
As for the Rec vs Travel question, do you want to develop girls to play in high school or beyond?
As for the Rec vs Travel question, do you want to develop girls to play in high school or beyond?
Just a wild guess here that the team plays in a small school class and has very few girls that go on to play college softball? Nothing wrong with it if that’s what the kids want. If they’d like to play at the highest levels in college they won’t get their playing for rec programs. The world beyond your league is pretty big. The “travel” pitchers you’re seeing are #2 or #3’s looking for more innings. You don’t have to play for Big Name Org with hefty fees to make it in college, but you do need a team committed to playing the top competition in your state or region.
- Aug 26, 2015
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This literally made me LOL.
