When do you leave a team?

Rick M said:

I just want to add a “grass isn’t always greener” warning. In the OP, you said that your daughter has pitched 8 innings in 13 tournament games. Assuming 13 games means 65-70 innings total, that’s not too bad.

A number three pitcher should expect to get about 10% of the innings. If there’s no prospect of moving into that number two spot (where the percentage is probably 20-30%) then you should be keeping an eye open for opportunities.

Just be aware that moving to a team that already has two pitchers might land you in the same spot. That’s okay, if the new coach is open to a new pitcher challenging for innings. The alternative is going to a team with no pitching. That will get you all the innings you want, but there’s going to be a lot of losing (this is where DD is now).


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in typical pool day (3 games), I think if the coach has 3 Ps, he should try to give them each a game. now if they do not have it, no issue with pulling a P, but pool games are for getting your depth players reps. especially since on bracket day, chances for #3 to see the circle are slim (ie #1 and #2 both having bad days).

make certain you take parent glasses off, and if you still truly believe he is not rewarding performance, then leave now, and pickup and guest as much as possible (this will serve as it's own tryout season), and tell him why. DD currently is working her way up the order on her current team. she was in bottom quarter to start spring (HC bats lineup whenever possible), now is in third quarter of lineup, and has real chance in coming weeks to move into 2nd quarter. meanwhile LO has not change, but has a bottom third OBP.

12u coach whose top 7 are set in stone is a bad 12u coach. 12u is about development, and when a coach offers, to me that is a commitment to do all they can to develop all the players. this coach is in breach of that implied commitment, so have no worries about not fulfilling a commitment. has to be both ways.

bmakj said:

12u coach whose top 7 are set in stone is a bad 12u coach. 12u is about development, and when a coach offers, to me that is a commitment to do all they can to develop all the players. this coach is in breach of that implied commitment, so have no worries about not fulfilling a commitment. has to be both ways.

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There is no such thing as an "implied commitment." You've decided 12u is about a certain thing (I agree with you on this) and just invented an "implied commitment" based on your opinion of what that level should be about.

This is a discussion that needs to actually take place before joining the team.

CoachJD said:

There is no such thing as an "implied commitment." You've decided 12u is about a certain thing (I agree with you on this) and just invented an "implied commitment" based on your opinion of what that level should be about.

This is a discussion that needs to actually take place before joining the team.

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Sorry, but yes there is. IF you are involved in youth sports, you should be 100% committed to the kids, and this means all of them. if your not 100% committed to the kids, get out of the racket (and I know this standard would chase a lot of people out if there was a way to apply it, which would be a grand improvement).

to take someone on to be the insurance policy for your own grandiose dreams of winning the all world 12 silver diamond championship and getting a trophy to dust every week is lame and the coach should really get some help. Getting some other than top 7 reasonable playing time also helps the top 7, as they learn to handle not getting everything handed to them. Or pay those outside the top 7 for their time (I kinda like this idea, maybe TB should be pay per inning played, so a few do not wind up as subsidies for the rest).

or let me put it another way. if there is such a big differnce between #7 and #12 on your roster, you probably should fold the team. you have a wannabe travel team with probably half a dozen travel players, and then half a dozen families you sold a bill of goods to in order to fund the top 6 and have enough to fill a roster.

THESE ARE 12 YEAR OLD KIDS! not professionals, not college players, not even HS, where coaches job might depend on winning.

CoachJD said:

There is no such thing as an "implied commitment." You've decided 12u is about a certain thing (I agree with you on this) and just invented an "implied commitment" based on your opinion of what that level should be about.

This is a discussion that needs to actually take place before joining the team.

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What was promised before DD joined the team is nothing like what she is getting. There were a lot of promises made to us, all of them broken.

The coaches consistently say that effort and production determine playing time. DD has also been told to “be patient” and keep doing what she’s doing but they don’t offer any insight about what can earn her some playing time. (I am starting to wonder if HC- who has been known to give in to parental demands for playing time - is freezing out DD to get a complainer extra time)

DD doesn’t want to spend her summer guest playing, so she’ll stick with this team as long as she can but keep her eyes open.


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ultimately her decision, but it sounds like HC has already written her off. probably hoping that by not playing her, no one else sees her play and it helps to limit her options to switch.

leave it up to your Dd, but I would advise her to walk. broken promises, bye bye. "be patient" is code for I like your parent's money. she only has 2 years of 12u.

Lightning said:

What was promised before DD joined the team is nothing like what she is getting. There were a lot of promises made to us, all of them broken.

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If promises were broken, then I retract my first post. This isn't about any kind of "implied" commitment (which is BS and not a thing). The coach said one thing and is doing another. You and your DD shouldn't have to put up with that, so if you can find another team, go for it.

If the promise was "everybody will get x number of innings" and you're not getting that despite talking to try to fix the situation, leave. That said, if the promise was simply "work harder and you'll get more playing time" or something vague like that, are you sure she's working harder than the girls playing above her? Is she improving? Has she actually earned that time?

I'm with bmakj about how this is not how 12u should be run (even if up front about it), so it's best to get out ASAP. And, let's be honest, if she's getting that little playing time, it doesn't sound like the coach is going to be too concerned with losing her anyway.

It definitely sounds like a tough situation, and there's something to be said for walking now (or soon) due to broken promises vs. staying and killing any current and future joy from playing this sport.

Do you have access to any of her pitching and hitting stats? Are her numbers comparable to the other pitchers?

so in youth sports there is no implied commitment to . . . . the youth playing the sport?

then what is the purpose of youth sports? BTW, I am not saying this is adhered to, plently of crappy coaches out there padding their egos or trying to relive lost youth or their glory days or whatever.

bmakj said:

so in youth sports there is no implied commitment to . . . . the youth playing the sport?

then what is the purpose of youth sports? BTW, I am not saying this is adhered to, plently of crappy coaches out there padding their egos or trying to relive lost youth or their glory days or whatever.

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There is no implied commitment for equal playing time on a travel team, no.

bmakj said:

12u is about development, and when a coach offers, to me that is a commitment to do all they can to develop all the players.

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CoachJD - I believe the implied commitment referred to was regarding development, not necessarily equal playing time.