Leaving a team when they've done nothing wrong....

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Apr 25, 2019
285
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*SIGH* Blech.....so as the title suggests, we left our team of 3 and a half years yesterday and they have done nothing wrong.

Sorry, but this one may be a long post.

A little backstory. We have played for the last 3.5 years for a local A class 14u (well....10u to present-day 14u) team in a small, local organization. All the girls were within 45 minutes of where we practiced. The HC did a hell of a job of developing local girls into A class players. Some of the girls have played with this coach since 8u. We typically played within an hour or two of our home area with the occasional jaunt into an adjacent state. If there was not enough competition in the local tournaments we would play up in an older division.

Well, back in October a really good national team about 4 hours from us got my DD's name and number from a friend of mine that coaches an A class team in Mississippi. They needed a catcher for the Ronald McDonald tournament in Texas. I couldn't work anything out for that weekend because I was out of town for my 40th B-day, however they dropped a little nugget that they were looking for a permanent catcher for the Spring/Summer. We turned them down and didn't think much of it. Well, our paths cross again when USSSA hosted an All-State games after the Fall season and my DD got partnered up with several girls from the interested organization in the 16u division, even though my DD is a first year 14u player. They got to see my DD in action behind the plate and she went 2 for 4 with a double and a single. Needless to say, I got a few more messages with some interest. Again, we turned them down. They hosted tryouts and were not able to get a catcher but picked up a few good bats and great fielders. So, again, they reach out to us. This time they had a tournament schedule and a plan for practices being that we are 4 hours away. So, this time we listened to what they had to say. Then I contacted the coaches which are all current or former D1 softball players, one of which is a former D1 catcher. Asked the hard questions, came up with pros and cons lists, etc. Held them off until the new year and we were finally able to work out a day and time to go to one of their practices. They had some talent. They had the defense, they had the pitching, and they had the bats.....the only missing piece was a catcher. They had girls that could catch but were not catchers as their primary position, if that makes sense. Well after some lengthy conversations over dinner and a long ride home we decided that this team would be a good fit.

My DD has been wanting to play a more national schedule and this new team is playing plenty of Triple Crowns, Showcases, the Ronald McDonald, T-Bolt Showcase, and the Colorado Sparkler. So it was the national schedule my DD wants. Also, from a developmental standpoint, having a coach that is a former D1 catcher fresh out of college was a huge plus. Unfortunately catchers are one of those positions that don't get a whole lot of time during a practice. Plus, they are as good as advertised. They checked a lot of boxes for us.

Now comes the sucky part.....breaking away from our current team. Sunday morning was an emotional one in our household to say the least. Our first phone call was obviously to the head coach. It caught him completely off guard, I'm sure. I mean hell, my DD literally just sold 29 squares on a Super Bowl board they were doing as a fundraiser. I'm sure it looked like we were completely onboard. The fact that we were having conversations and going to other team's practices did weigh heavy on us. Our second phone call was to one of the assistant coaches that my DD had an incredible relationship with. He treated her like his own daughter. That one was rough but we got thru it. We then called the other AC but he didn't answer. Before getting off the phone with the HC we made sure that it was okay that we addressed the team on GroupMe and he was fine with that. Typed up a big long sappy post and hit send. We got nothing but well wishes from all the girls, parents, and coaches.

BLECH.....that sucks!!! Things would be so much easier if the coaches were A-holes or if their was drama on the team. But there wasn't. The coaches are great, the parents are great, and the girls were great. We just felt like this was the proper move to get the experience and exposure that my DD wants. Anyways, sorry about the long post but this is the first time we have ever had to quit a team. The other times that we have had to change teams is because the coach was moving up with older girls, etc and we just had to go try out for new teams. So yeah, leaving a team that has been home for 3 and a half years kind of sucks. Ah well....onward and upward. It does make me feel better that one of the AC's said that we could absolutely come back if we didn't like it. That takes some pressure off of it. We will see I guess.


TL:DR....left an A class team that my DD has been on for 3.5 years for a national team and it sucks because the team has never done anything wrong.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,409
113
Texas
Happens all the time. It's not you, it's me! Your needs are different than what the team can provide. There is nothing wrong with that. The odds are you guys will not stay with this team long term either. Once our DD's hit 14U/16U, there are only so many years left to get what you need from softball programs in order to get recruited, if that is the goal. Sounds like your team was a big fish in a little pond and they quite possibly could merge with another program in the future too as the other players start to look around and wonder what are we doing here. Coaches will start to feel the pressure from the parents. What are our goals? How do we accomplish those goals? Travelling around the country in those big tourneys was a joy for me and I do miss it. Now I get to drive 4 hours north for home games on the weekends and maybe further for away games. Same but different than your new situation. Good luck and have fun.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,409
113
Texas
Very true. Had a similar experience leaving because the coaches, parents, and girls were great. But not everyone has the same goals.
I ran DD's All Star team for 5 years and had a great group of players and parents. I told them at the end of the summer that I will no longer be coaching and DD will be hitting tryouts. Many of them were happy and cozy within our little happy environment, and were pretty sad knowing the ride was over. We won a lot and it didn't cost a lot. The team ran it's course and DD need to be around like minded players and families...and I need too as well. 4 of the players I had on that team are now playing college ball and all of them played HS ball or dabbled in TB for a while. I was disappointed in that first TB that DD played on. Her All star team would have destroyed them!
 
Apr 28, 2014
2,316
113
The right decision for your DD is always most important. I'm sure the coaching staff understands the why's and supports her. May sting for a bit but the goal of this whole thing is to grow kids into strong and empowered women. These type of situations teach lessons. Best of luck with the new team!
 
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May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
I've said this more times than I can remember....

There is only one true loyalty in travel ball - A parent doing what they think is right for their DD.

Sometimes those decisions are based on delusion and fantasy about the abilities of their kid. In your case, it sounds clearly like you made the correct (thoughtful and rational) decision for the continued development of your DD, and what she wants out of the game. It also sounds like you left with respect and class, which is a great example for your DD. As hard as it can be to leave the comfort of the box you've been in, sometimes it's the right choice.
 
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Apr 25, 2019
285
63
" Typed up a big long sappy post and hit send. "
Never saw that coming. LOL
Sound like you got a pretty decent bon voyage from the coaches and parents. I am sure the number 2 catcher is happy. Set sail.

I think #2 catcher will be happy. Unfortunately she plays for her private high school team as an 8th grader so the #3 may be filling in until May. This fact was actually one of the reasons we almost didn't leave. We felt terrible about leaving them in a bad spot. But we didn't want our window of opportunity to close. But, at least we did it now instead of waiting until March and the beginning of the Spring.
 

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