Help! Do I say anything or not? (long read sorry but needed)

whiporee said:

I think you could talk to her about some stuff you've seen on coaching videos, or maybe go to a clinic or two and bring that back with you. Ask her if she's concerned about the lack of TB players, and then try to come up with a strategy to recruit more of them. The best way to change a perception of someone is for them to act in contrary ways. If you've been together four years, she much have some level of trust for you.

have you seen the behaviors the parents are talking about? I know it's more time for you, but maybe ask for joint JV/ Varsity practices once a week, then you can see how she coaches and she can see how you do it. Maybe she'll like the things you do.

If you're not going to get the TB players, then really focus on development. Concentrate on making a team of girls who have come up through your program, girls who want to be there. make your team as fun as it can be -- make YOU a person girls want to play for. Maybe go to some TB games and do some 12-13-year-old recruiting, and build a strong JV team. If a coach is fired, the easiest thing for an AD to do is hire an a current assistant. Give the AD a reason to.

As for the AD, don't say anything. Make your team one that girls want to play for, and the the head coach is fired then make your case. But the varsity coach has shown paranoid tendencies, and if you talk to the AD it will get to her one way or the other. I think your best chance is to stay her ally until you don't want to be her ally anymore.

ETA: This popped up at me when I was in the shower. Why is the other HS surging? Are TB players going there?
i think the fact that parents talked to you about her is a red flag, but in a different direction than you are seeing. TB parents -- of of us excluded, of course -- have a tendency to overestimate their DD's skills and deservedness of playing time. She might be losing those players BECAUSE she's trying to run a fair team based on HS experience, not one based on TB experience. A collection of old guys have old connections they want to maintain with TB teams, and therefore give those girls preferential treatment. For example, i can't imagine girls who play at a high TB level getting butt hurt by a coach getting on them for errors, or expecting them to take losses seriously, unless they were predisposed not to like her for other reasons.

Now, she may be a petty rear. Our varsity coach is a petty rear. That happens more often than any of us may like. But the truth is that if she's been in the job four years, very few incoming players have experience with her -- they're just going off the TB reputation, passed on by parents and players who didn't like her -- or maybe wanted her job to go to someone they already knew and had relationships with. There's a decent chance she's not the actual bad actor here, and before you do anything you ought to consider that possibility.

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RADcatcher said:

Few things stick out on this.
1. With your years involved they did not consider interviewing you NBE for varsity head coach.
2.The AD hired someone else.
3. New head coach spoke upfront to you about loyalty to them.
Did you at that point say
'i will be loyal to the school and help you new HC the best you can?' or did you just jump on board?
4. LETS NOTICE THIS~
Anytime programs coaching change
THERE WILL BE CHANGE!
immediatly or over time.
Change was inevitable!
5. People complaining
AKA parents.... if they want change should speak up to the AD. or complaining means nothing.
6. Are you on board or not?
Yes if you speak up against the HC there will be some oddness.
Because at this point do you actually think your one complaint standing alone is
influence enough to get rid of head coach?
Remember you were not first choice in the first place...
Rather seems you were the only one left from the old crew.
The new HC threw you a bone ASKING are you on board to support them. And you accepted!!!
*if your individual style of coaching is not in agreement with her coaching style
YOU NEED to make a decision for yourself!!!
Because
7. What you have is an JV coaching position offered ( or rather) kept on by the new VHC.
Speaking up will absolutely put your JV HC position in an awkward position.

My simple advice,
if your planning to still coach at that h.s.
Focus on your j.v. team!
Advise those whom may be complaining in your ear to take there complaints to a level that may help like the AD. Or Principle.
Generally speaking you are not the complaint department!

*Work with what you have to make your players have the best experience they can have.
Lead by example!


( btw have noticed parents will complain to anyone who will listen, they complain to start a fire for someone else to put out. IF it were a real and truely horrible thing going on
*Do you think the parents would have already immediatly contacted the principle???!!!
Because at some point the AD is part of this delema, if it is one.)
....you have a team right?!

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RADcatcher said:

h.s. coaching situations can be like a toilet trying to flush but wont,... just a swirling bowl of ____!
Where plunging to try and fix just causes back-splash.

@NBE you come across as a good person in softball!
Keep your hands clean and keep doing the right thing with the players you get to coach.
Your team can have a great experience!

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pattar said:

I've made a few "moral compass" based decisions in my career. Doing so has allowed me to sleep at night..they have also forced me to sleep on the same mattress the whole time because people above me don't have the same compass settings and for the most part control the money..My family has suffered financially because of my selfish need to take the moral high ground.

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bmakj said:

but I am certain that overall they are better off with a parent who teaches them how to do what is right !

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NBECoach said:

The greatest satisfaction I have is when a player I helped plays to the best of their abilities and never gives up.

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sluggers said:

Then don't worry about who plays and who doesn't. Do your job and help the kids who want to play, and forget about the rest.

Trying to figure out teenage girls is a Sysyphean task. Trying to get them to do something they don't want to do is like herding cats...if the cats were saber toothed tigers.

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