And thats what we're working through. Team sent out spreadsheet of last tournament and full season, so everyone sees everyone ( seems like a can of worms, but again, his team ). Out of 45 or so games, she has 18 AB. Most of starters have 65-75.
How do you decide?
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And please, dont misunderstood my point of this post. I'm not trying to get a bunch of parents or keyboard warriors to say we should switch teams, and give me a false bravado and quit. I really am looking for advise. Something you have been through, and questions we or she should be asking. The coaches are great men and women. They truly seem to care about all the kids on the team. But naturally, my main concern is the one I see working, and then sitting. I'm typing this from a parking lot, where she is inside doing extra weight and conditioning.
I want her to be a great softball player, because she loves the game. But mostly I want her to be happy.
I want her to be a great softball player, because she loves the game. But mostly I want her to be happy.
These are important years in her development and in order to make the most of them she needs to be playing. It's not a "good" team for her if she isn't playing regardless of how many games they win. If it's necessary to take a step backwards in the quality of the team in order to get her more time and at-bats I'd definitely do that. I disagree to some extent that she needs to be the one to make the decision. We're parents and sometimes we see things they don't. It can be hard to admit you need to leave a better quality team that wins most games for a team who plays .500 or worse in order to develop as a player. When she develops into one of the best players on the lower level team, it's time to move up to a better team. Been there, done that, don't regret it.
Thanks for the reply, and I appreciate your thoughts. For clarity, this is not an A level, win every tournament team, or region for that matter. We have a few great teams around, that rarely play in the types of tournaments we do. And most other teams around are all similar. We chose this team, based on reputation and because he was looking for starter quality OF, which she usually is.
Going off memory, and running low on battery, so probably off on numbers. I know the 18 AB for sure, probably closer 38 games, or could be 100 for starters. I dont have the sheet in front of me. PA vary. She does walk some, but I thought the AB includes walks (so maybe should have said PA) whichever is total. I guess we avg 3 or 4 innings per game, so i assume avg is less than 3 per game?
You're a better man than me lasting this long if she only had 18 AB's in 45 games. Even if that is an approximation, to me..that is ridiculously low. I'd be gone. Your daughter only has a few brief years to play the game and have fun and get better. There are no long careers for 99% of our DD's, so why use up the short time they have riding the bench? It's a GAME and games are meant to be PLAYED in for kids/teens.
I understand at the top level the playing time of players is never equal nor should it be at the higher, older levels of any sport. But at 14u !?????? FOURTEEN???? More equity should be happening at 14u.
I've coached HS teams where I didn't play the last few guys on the bench much. But, I would guess they would get more minutes/snaps/AB's than that over 45 + games.
The coaches might be great people, but to me if she has the option to play elsewhere...and that's the key word...PLAY, then she should be given that opportunity. You don't get these years back as her parent, and she doesn't get the years back as the player.
I understand at the top level the playing time of players is never equal nor should it be at the higher, older levels of any sport. But at 14u !?????? FOURTEEN???? More equity should be happening at 14u.
I've coached HS teams where I didn't play the last few guys on the bench much. But, I would guess they would get more minutes/snaps/AB's than that over 45 + games.
The coaches might be great people, but to me if she has the option to play elsewhere...and that's the key word...PLAY, then she should be given that opportunity. You don't get these years back as her parent, and she doesn't get the years back as the player.
2 things about this struck me. I played on teams where maybe I was the best, but played on alot later on where I definitely was not. But I understood that, and played my role when I could (this would have been HS age, where it was obvious who was avg, good, great).
And then she won't get these years back. I know that, but I guess I haven't thought about it that way. We've raised our other kids, she's the baby, so I know she still has 5 years or so left to play. 5 years ago she started playing, and it probably feels like a lifetime for her.
First, thanks for hearing my post without being defensive. I was afraid I might come across wrong. Wasn't criticizing, just suggesting that you get more input from her. Her opinions are more important than ours. I would ask if she's happy, and how would she feel about finding a team where she bats 10 times per tournament and plays in the field most of the time. Educate her to her options. She needs to know that this isn't what travel ball is for most kids. Most kids will just do what they're told, so they need to be empowered with their options. Then she is the one solving her problems, which is a great lesson to learn. The answer to all your questions lies within her, not us, IMO.
I think @Quigs10 pretty much nails it. My DD (now 2nd yr 14U) went through something like what you are describing, but at a younger age, 10U and part of 12U. Bat bottom of the order. Rotated with 3 others who were not in the starting 9 in two corner OF positions. Pitched a few garbage innings here and there. Looking back, not sure why we did it or why she didn't want to quit. She was playing with her friends and that must have been enough for her. We also didn't know anything. Not sure we would do it again if we could do it over. She's turned herself into a good player (better than most of the "starters" on those younger teams), but wonder how much better she could be if she was the one getting the 100+ ABs. It did help fuel a drive to get better, so there's that.
You are new to the team and trying to carve out a place. That is difficult. The relationships are new. Still, the facts don't lie. Regardless of what the coaches say, the truth is in the line up card and in who is playing the field. If you have watched that a whole fall season and it hasn't really deviated from what you describe, then that is what you are facing and you know where they see you fitting in. Does it mean it couldn't change? Maybe not. Perhaps some of the players leave for "greener pastures," that certainly happens. Perhaps your DD takes a big leap in her abilities and they are "forced" to play her more. Could happen. But I don't know that you can really expect it to change. They have their starters--right or wrong--and they see your DD as a bench player. Simple as that. If I am right, then the question really becomes: Is your DD satisfied with the role she has been assigned in order to play on this team? Her goals for her softball "career" should drive the decision.
For a position player, I think others here have thrown out the idea that you should be playing at least 50% of the time in your primary position and perhaps another 20-25% in your secondary position. Just not sure what good can come from 75% sitting on the bench. And by the way, you are paying them for her to sit there.
You are new to the team and trying to carve out a place. That is difficult. The relationships are new. Still, the facts don't lie. Regardless of what the coaches say, the truth is in the line up card and in who is playing the field. If you have watched that a whole fall season and it hasn't really deviated from what you describe, then that is what you are facing and you know where they see you fitting in. Does it mean it couldn't change? Maybe not. Perhaps some of the players leave for "greener pastures," that certainly happens. Perhaps your DD takes a big leap in her abilities and they are "forced" to play her more. Could happen. But I don't know that you can really expect it to change. They have their starters--right or wrong--and they see your DD as a bench player. Simple as that. If I am right, then the question really becomes: Is your DD satisfied with the role she has been assigned in order to play on this team? Her goals for her softball "career" should drive the decision.
For a position player, I think others here have thrown out the idea that you should be playing at least 50% of the time in your primary position and perhaps another 20-25% in your secondary position. Just not sure what good can come from 75% sitting on the bench. And by the way, you are paying them for her to sit there.
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