DD held to higher standard

Looking for thoughts, opinions on something I am struggling with.

I Co-coach a C class TB team. My DD is one of the top all around athletes and players on the team. We do not play daddy ball by any means in all actuality we are probably just the opposite. We hold our two DD’s to a higher standard than the other girls because we expect what we expect and our girls are capable of producing what we expect.

But I struggle with pulling my DD for lackluster performance (in my eyes anyways) quicker than I probably should and the replacement performance is more or less the same or less. But I give the replacement more wiggle room than my DD.

What have you guys done to help yourselves hold the rest of your players to the same standard as your DD? Or is this just something most Dad coaches deal with?

What age? Are team decisions involving your daughter something that you can leave up to the co-coach?

10u and if it was up to him she would never be pulled. But I feel that conveys the wrong message to her. Our Moto is, you earn it or someone else will. I prefer to reward effort over ability and I feel that my DD is doing just what she has to do to stay at the top of her position instead of pushing herself to get better.

Does she know she’s held to a higher standard? When I coached my DD I definitely did, and I told her I did. You don’t just sit her, or drop her in the lineup, you talk to her...I am dropping you because I expect more. She can’t respond or live up to the expectations if she doesn’t know you believe she can.

jmax26 said:

I feel that my DD is doing just what she has to do to stay at the top of her position instead of pushing herself to get better.

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If it remains this way at 12U get her off of a C team if she can remain the best player without putting in effort/work...

Does she know she’s held to a higher standard? When I coached my DD I definitely did, and I told her I did. You don’t just sit her, or drop her in the lineup, you talk to her...I am dropping you because I expect more. She can’t respond or live up to the expectations if she doesn’t know you believe she can.

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She knows. We never sit any girl without explanation. But specifically my DD and I speak of this ALL the time. One on one she gives everything she has but in team practice/game situations she falls off a bit.

I can’t help but think it because she feels like she is being singled out for bad play. Like the other girls are getting a free pass because compared to her they are. How do I elevate the play of the lower half of the team without losing them? And I don’t mean to another team or anything like that but more losing them to the fact that some are frankly at their limits.

pattar said:

If it remains this way at 12U get her off of a C team if she can remain the best player without putting in effort/work...

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I feel this is the ultimate direction we will head but for selfish reasons I don’t look forward to it lol.

pattar said:

If it remains this way at 12U get her off of a C team if she can remain the best player without putting in effort/work...

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This is my thinking as well. Better players and competition will push her, and that'll probably lead to a healthier relationship than her dad benching her even though she's the better player.

Yep, being the best on the team is likely to lead to complacency rather than to growth. She needs to move to a team where she's middle of the pack ability-wise.

I don’t coach, I just have to deal with my own hooligan but, my daughters first coach in 10u was a good guy, but I had it in my head that he should be pushing fundamentals and skills harder, quicker, and he emphasized making the game fun (and to be clear, since she had fun, I didn’t say anything to him, I just let the coach coach) in the end, two years later he was right. I was getting frustrated with her lack of interest in working outside of practice, she is now showing a little more intrest in improving and working, she just needed to get into it and get really “hooked” on the sport before that drive to grow shows up.