You right about the parents on younger teams. When my DD was 12u, the parents, myself included, would get crazy about any bad call, bad coaching, etc. Now every parent on my DD's 16u team are very chilled, (me too), because we've seen our DD's play so much softball by that point, no need to get upset about anything anymore.
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Some parents are just crazy, but I think a lot of the antics you see at 10U and 12U are born mostly of ignorance (of the game in general or of travel ball in particular or of their daughter's overall skill level or all three) and a kind of desperation to help their daughter establish a place on a team--and preferably not the one where they get to play RF every other inning. Everyone wants to see their kid thrive and be "treated fairly" and not to be the 13th girl on a team of 13 players. By 14U, girls start establishing clearer roles on a team (e.g., you are a pitcher or you aren't; you are a catcher or you aren't) and parents have much more experience with things, having observed other teams, other players, and maybe 100s of tournament games. Most will see more clearly where their daughter fits in and, if smart, get her on the right team where she has the opportunity to play regularly and keep developing.
Some parents never get it, but they are usually the ones changing teams every season because their daughter is getting "screwed over" by the coaching staff, etc., etc. Word of such people gets around. We had a knucklehead around here like that and now he has to drive 90+ miles to get his DD on a travel team rather than one of the probably two dozen plus within a 20-30 minute driving radius. Team cancer.
The other great thing about crazy parents is that you can mostly avoid them by just not sitting near them and listening to them rant and rave about all the coaching stupidity and injustice.
Some parents never get it, but they are usually the ones changing teams every season because their daughter is getting "screwed over" by the coaching staff, etc., etc. Word of such people gets around. We had a knucklehead around here like that and now he has to drive 90+ miles to get his DD on a travel team rather than one of the probably two dozen plus within a 20-30 minute driving radius. Team cancer.
The other great thing about crazy parents is that you can mostly avoid them by just not sitting near them and listening to them rant and rave about all the coaching stupidity and injustice.
Yes!!! It’s reassuring that it calms down..I’m definitely experiencing some worms. I’m of the mindset that my child is a developing athlete... I like her moving around. I don’t want a team appeasing parents for playing time either. I like to see the girls get time to play and earn the positions.
I would add this. Don't jump at the first offer for many reasons. Talk with the coach and find out the playing opportunities that your daughter will have. I know it is exciting to receive that first offer to play TB but there are some teams that just need paying players and will sign you up even though they are 3 or 4 deep at your DD's positions. If possible watch a practice of a prospective team. See how the coaches interact with the players.
Good luck.
Good luck.
And don't join a team where your DD plays the same position as the coach's daughter! Travel Ball 101.
Ideally you can see 2 things before you join a team. A couple of real practiced to determine if they are really teaching the game to the kids and a tournament where they lose a few games to see if the coaches act like adults or not.
The other factor is what you daughter is like. Some teams are real friendly and do a lot of team building others are just dead serious players who just play together. For some kids the social aspect is really important but for others it's not.
The other factor is what you daughter is like. Some teams are real friendly and do a lot of team building others are just dead serious players who just play together. For some kids the social aspect is really important but for others it's not.
While I do agree with those who say don't jump at the first offer, I'd say don't shop around too much like you are buying a house. If you are first time, you'll never know how a team is until you start practicing and playing games. So when you find a team you and DD are comfortable with, join them. At the end of the season you'll know how the team is, plus if you play a lot locally, you'll know who the good and bad teams are. If you like where you are, great, if not, don't be afraid to move on. I'd say there are not that many girls who will start on a 10u team and stay with the team till 18u.
You got some good advice. Be honest and don't be afraid to ask direct questions. Observe the coaches demeanor.
Maybe this will be helpful. Our experience in diving into the world of TB...
At 10yo, my DD was ready to leave the rec league she had been with since 8U. We - as a family - decided that we would make the commitment to the significantly-increased time and money demands of TB in order for her to play at the higher level she was clearly ready for.
Her first tryout was with a small local TB org. When we got to the field, my DD was scared to get out of the car, but once she got on the field, she realized that it was just softball. They did all the same things she knew how to do - throw, catch, run, hit. However, it became pretty evident that this was not the team for her. They had very few players her age, and the coach intended to have the younger players play up with their 12U girls (not many of them, either). My DD finished the session, we said thank you for the opportunity, and went on our way.
At our second tryout, my DD wasn't at all hesitant to get on the field. It was a well-run session, and it was clear that the coaches were teaching skills that would help the players develop into better ball players. At the end of it, the HC pulled us aside and invited my DD to play a weekend of friendlies with the team (no commitment, just play to see how things fit). She played, and did just fine. As soon as we got in the car after the first games, she told me, "I want to join this team". There was no hesitation or maybes. She was all in. I talked to the HC about what she anticipated for my DD - positions, future path, etc. It was made clear that she would have to earn her spot, and if she wanted to be the #1 catcher, she would have to make it obvious that she was a better choice than the current #1.
We were with that team for almost 3 years (until the end of 12U). It was absolutely the right place for her to be during that time in her development. The HC played a big part in helping her become the player she is today (currently 15yo).
During that 3-year journey, we saw players and their parents come and go. We had parents that were delusional, and thought their little princess was the best thing ever. We had parents that disagreed with game management decisions and "hissy quit" the team in the middle of a tournament. We had parents who were sane, rational, and level-headed, but didn't fit with the team. We also had parents that were absolutely fantastic.
One thing I have come to learn about TB is that there is only one true loyalty...parents doing what they think is best for their kid.
At 10yo, my DD was ready to leave the rec league she had been with since 8U. We - as a family - decided that we would make the commitment to the significantly-increased time and money demands of TB in order for her to play at the higher level she was clearly ready for.
Her first tryout was with a small local TB org. When we got to the field, my DD was scared to get out of the car, but once she got on the field, she realized that it was just softball. They did all the same things she knew how to do - throw, catch, run, hit. However, it became pretty evident that this was not the team for her. They had very few players her age, and the coach intended to have the younger players play up with their 12U girls (not many of them, either). My DD finished the session, we said thank you for the opportunity, and went on our way.
At our second tryout, my DD wasn't at all hesitant to get on the field. It was a well-run session, and it was clear that the coaches were teaching skills that would help the players develop into better ball players. At the end of it, the HC pulled us aside and invited my DD to play a weekend of friendlies with the team (no commitment, just play to see how things fit). She played, and did just fine. As soon as we got in the car after the first games, she told me, "I want to join this team". There was no hesitation or maybes. She was all in. I talked to the HC about what she anticipated for my DD - positions, future path, etc. It was made clear that she would have to earn her spot, and if she wanted to be the #1 catcher, she would have to make it obvious that she was a better choice than the current #1.
We were with that team for almost 3 years (until the end of 12U). It was absolutely the right place for her to be during that time in her development. The HC played a big part in helping her become the player she is today (currently 15yo).
During that 3-year journey, we saw players and their parents come and go. We had parents that were delusional, and thought their little princess was the best thing ever. We had parents that disagreed with game management decisions and "hissy quit" the team in the middle of a tournament. We had parents who were sane, rational, and level-headed, but didn't fit with the team. We also had parents that were absolutely fantastic.
One thing I have come to learn about TB is that there is only one true loyalty...parents doing what they think is best for their kid.
- Sep 13, 2015
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