When we sat across the table from DD's future coaches they shared that they passed on 2 top 5 star recruits due to character and that winning is very important but the game is more than about winning. I closed my notepad, I didn't need to hear another word,
Losing the Team Leader
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When we sat across the table from DD's future coaches they shared that they passed on 2 top 5 star recruits due to character and that winning is very important but the game is more than about winning. I closed my notepad, I didn't need to hear another word,
Tough for the young lady in the moment. Our DD is just entered HS and her journey just beginning. Softball in her life has provided her SO MANY opportunities she never would have had. It's been full of ups and downs. There's been some TOUGH tear filled moments and ones that have left us shaking our heads and wondering what was going on and where it was all leading. We are continually reminded that for one door to open another needs to close. Cliche' I know....but it keeps being born out.
Your player needs your support and to know she's loved and valued. as UNCDREW said..she may not be ready talk but she IS ready to hear how much she's valued as a person and a player and a teammate.
We don't know how this story unfolds....but a year from now this coach could be canned and a coach she doesn't like is there....meanwhile she finds a new team before next fall and loves her coach/team/college and has an amazing experience. Sometimes we're dodging a bullet and we don't know it at the time.
Please come back and update us on how her story unfolds!
Your player needs your support and to know she's loved and valued. as UNCDREW said..she may not be ready talk but she IS ready to hear how much she's valued as a person and a player and a teammate.
We don't know how this story unfolds....but a year from now this coach could be canned and a coach she doesn't like is there....meanwhile she finds a new team before next fall and loves her coach/team/college and has an amazing experience. Sometimes we're dodging a bullet and we don't know it at the time.
Please come back and update us on how her story unfolds!
- May 29, 2015
- 3,794
- 113
One of my personal take-aways ... and I may take flak for it ... we put too much emphasis on playing in college. You should a student-athlete, not an athlete-student.
For the OP, it would be a shame if this young lady does not play for you this year. When you talk to her I would emphasize that to her: We’d love to have you back for another year. If you were just playing as an means-to-an-end, I’m sorry to hear that. If you play because you really love it, we have been here for you and are always here for you.
For the OP, it would be a shame if this young lady does not play for you this year. When you talk to her I would emphasize that to her: We’d love to have you back for another year. If you were just playing as an means-to-an-end, I’m sorry to hear that. If you play because you really love it, we have been here for you and are always here for you.
Ding, ding, ding, freaking DING! Two thumbs up here!
Play for the right reasons, get good, be a good person and student, and opportunities will follow.
inumpire
Observer, but has an opinion
- Oct 31, 2014
- 278
- 43
Ok, I understand everything all of the poster are sayin. But I just have one or 2 questions, Maybe you all can answer for me.
First I want to know why it is OK for the players to leave or change schools, but coaches can’t change their minds? Have you not heard of the NCAA Transfer Portal? Player of all sports sign up there everyday, and that’s OK? Have you not followed Oregon? how many player left there when the coach left. So OK you will say that a lot of them went with the coach that recruited them. And that is true. But what about the 200 or 300 that also transferred?? Not trying to take anything away from the girl in the post that started this thread, but it happens both way, so just don’t start bashing a coach because they change their mind.
First I want to know why it is OK for the players to leave or change schools, but coaches can’t change their minds? Have you not heard of the NCAA Transfer Portal? Player of all sports sign up there everyday, and that’s OK? Have you not followed Oregon? how many player left there when the coach left. So OK you will say that a lot of them went with the coach that recruited them. And that is true. But what about the 200 or 300 that also transferred?? Not trying to take anything away from the girl in the post that started this thread, but it happens both way, so just don’t start bashing a coach because they change their mind.
There's a huge difference between the 2 scenarios you are talking about, The first, you are talking about players already committed, on paper mind you, with a signed contract which is guaranteed and or protected by the NCAA rules and regulations to a certain extent. The players and coaches both, are now held accountable for their actions. If the player transfers and the coach doesn't sign off, they not only lose their scholarship to that school, but the year of eligibility as well.
In the scenario of the OP, there are no guarentees and is solely dependent upon the coach keeping their word. Thus, this girl took herself off the market upon verballing. Since the coach reneged on their word, this player is left at the final moment scrambling for a place to go to school let alone a school to play at. Maybe she was depending on the Athletic moneys to finish paying for her tuition so she could go to school without incurring large student debt. Who knows?
There are 2 points to this. 1) Never take any offer for granted until the paperwork is signed by both parties. 2) If you can't understand the difference then maybe you need to spend more time on the threads regarding recruitng.
In the scenario of the OP, there are no guarentees and is solely dependent upon the coach keeping their word. Thus, this girl took herself off the market upon verballing. Since the coach reneged on their word, this player is left at the final moment scrambling for a place to go to school let alone a school to play at. Maybe she was depending on the Athletic moneys to finish paying for her tuition so she could go to school without incurring large student debt. Who knows?
There are 2 points to this. 1) Never take any offer for granted until the paperwork is signed by both parties. 2) If you can't understand the difference then maybe you need to spend more time on the threads regarding recruitng.
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Thanks everyone for your replies.
We had practice this weekend which was our last practice of the fall season as we have Showcases the next 2 weekends.
As I was waiting for players to arrive Julie walks up. She told me she did not want to let the team down and she would finish out the fall, but the summer season was still in question. We had a lengthy discussion about how much she meant to me as a player, but more importantly as a person and she has been a joy to be around. I told her that it has been a blessing to coach someone like her because players like her don't came around often.
She did talk to me about how she was feeling. She feels like she lost out on opportunities the past couple of years. She attended a few camps and stayed in contact with coaches, but her family couldn't afford to send her to a lot of camps. She works and helped pay her way. She told me she still loves the game and is considering possibly trying to walk on when she gets to school, but has doubts. I asked her about walking on at the school that recently passed on her and she did not want to talk about that. Apparently she had discussed this with the coach and the coach told her they would not be taking a look at any walk on players in the fall due to the size of their current roster. She felt like this was a line of bull as I did to when she told me. She still has some harsh feelings toward the way she was treated.
Again I appreciate all the replies and will keep everyone updated on her situation if anything changes.
We had practice this weekend which was our last practice of the fall season as we have Showcases the next 2 weekends.
As I was waiting for players to arrive Julie walks up. She told me she did not want to let the team down and she would finish out the fall, but the summer season was still in question. We had a lengthy discussion about how much she meant to me as a player, but more importantly as a person and she has been a joy to be around. I told her that it has been a blessing to coach someone like her because players like her don't came around often.
She did talk to me about how she was feeling. She feels like she lost out on opportunities the past couple of years. She attended a few camps and stayed in contact with coaches, but her family couldn't afford to send her to a lot of camps. She works and helped pay her way. She told me she still loves the game and is considering possibly trying to walk on when she gets to school, but has doubts. I asked her about walking on at the school that recently passed on her and she did not want to talk about that. Apparently she had discussed this with the coach and the coach told her they would not be taking a look at any walk on players in the fall due to the size of their current roster. She felt like this was a line of bull as I did to when she told me. She still has some harsh feelings toward the way she was treated.
Again I appreciate all the replies and will keep everyone updated on her situation if anything changes.
- May 29, 2015
- 3,794
- 113
She is not wrong ... she undoubtedly missed out on some opportunities. She can’t get those back, but she can keep pressing for new ones.
You said you have a couple of showcases coming up and that she had stayed in contact with some other coaches ... encourage her to reach back out to those coaches and be honest with them about her situation. If you know coaches that will be at the showcases, kick your butt in to overdrive for her.
This may be controversial ... but I would encourage her to write a an honest and heartfelt letter about her experience and send copies of it to the Athletic Director of that school that withdrew their offer and anybody she can reach in leadership from that school. This may sound like sour grapes, but I think it would really help her get those feelings out and then start the “heeling” process. It will help her feel as if she is being heard.
You said you have a couple of showcases coming up and that she had stayed in contact with some other coaches ... encourage her to reach back out to those coaches and be honest with them about her situation. If you know coaches that will be at the showcases, kick your butt in to overdrive for her.
This may be controversial ... but I would encourage her to write a an honest and heartfelt letter about her experience and send copies of it to the Athletic Director of that school that withdrew their offer and anybody she can reach in leadership from that school. This may sound like sour grapes, but I think it would really help her get those feelings out and then start the “heeling” process. It will help her feel as if she is being heard.
