- Jun 12, 2015
- 3,848
- 83
I fixed this one.
"Bully" coach or are we over reacting.
- Thread starter JumboJack
- Start date
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I fixed this one.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I know of a 10U coach who almost always praises mistakes and never offers any player critique because the girls might not like it. And guess what? The girls aren’t discipline, don’t focus during practice, don’t perform during games, but still manage to get treats during and after games and get to continue acting like brats. It’s really sad because there is enough talent on the team to win a few games, but instead, the apathetic attitude is allowed to grow, so they go winless Keystone cops-style for Fall Ball.
- May 9, 2019
- 294
- 43
Just like with most things, moderation is key.
In my mind this is the textbook definition of a transactional coach vs. transformational coach. The transactional coach is in it for them - what are the players going to do for them, perform for them, deliver for them. They're outcome oriented. The transformational coach is in it for the player - how can I help the player grow and develop, how can I get the player to see the same capabilities that I see in them, how can I help them push past their perceived ceiling, learn and develop new skills and be able to repeat those skills on demand (which means making and missing that throw 100 times before they can do it on demand). And by the way, if you berate them every time they miss that throw then they won't want to try it in order to avoid being berated which means they won't get better at it... All in all, it's counterproductive behavior and indicative of the coach not being in it for the right reasons.
I've been coaching for 40 years and my #1 rule is to never yell at my athletes. It accomplishes nothing but getting the athlete angry or upset, which makes it that much harder to make a point or keep the athletes enthusiastic to learn and compete. It is just a sign that the coach is frustrated by his inability to teach or is just a complete inarticulate #$@%^&. If it was my child, I would find a new team. The first rule of sports is that they are supposed to be fun. There is a lot of hard work required to be successful, but a positive attitude and good teaching skills from the coach will make the athletes want to be there and improve. Your "coach" is doing the opposite. He is ruining the sport for everyone. Find a new team.
Sounds like a bad learning environment. Remove your daughter from the team before she hates the game and never returns. Here's the kick in the chops...... you probably paid big $$$ to be on this "gold" team.
- Dec 30, 2011
- 47
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The first lesson a male coaching females must learn is they are NOT guys. Ralph Weekly has taught this for years and he is absolutely correct. Players will never trust you or care anything about you until you prove to them that you care about them as individuals as well as a team. If they know you care they will care. Girls are not boys and women are not men. Not saying a coach needs to coddle them. Just be sure they know you care about them both on the field and off if you want to get the very best out of them on the field.
- Dec 30, 2011
- 47
- 18
You must do your homework before joining a team. Try to find the best fit for your daughter rather than joining the best team or the team/coach that makes the best "promises". Your daughter's happiness with the game is much more important than anything a coach promises or claims. There are too many good "salesmen" in the game today. Trust me, your daughter's happiness with the game and the fun she has with it is much more important in the long run. So many players/families are focused on playing in college. It is easy to fall for the sales pitches that are going around now days. Learn the college recruiting process yourself. Begin early doing the work yourself and you can find that good college fit that so many are hoping for. It is not imperative that your daughter plays for a big name team with a big mouth salesman in order to find that college team. The college search process in quite involved but you can learn that process yourself and get it done yourself. And never fall for one of those college recruiting companies. They never hurt but they don't do much good either. Let your daughter progress in an atmosphere where she can become the very best she can be without all the pressure from a coach like that. My daughter played "B" ball most of her travel ball life plus high school ball. She also played 4 years of NCAA softball at a very good college and enjoyed every minute of it. She was able to get a very good education and is now very established in a great career. Humbly and quietly do the work yourself and you will be very happy that you did in the end.
- Oct 27, 2015
- 182
- 16
You might try to come at it from the angle that you care about this coach and want to help him be even more effective. We are all on a journey and everyone one of us needs help. I would suggest shooting a couple innings and then sendIng it to this coach with some kind words about his passion for wanting the girls to succeed. That he could do this by modelling more control, discipline, and care for his players to copy. Suggesting maybe he is not aware of how he is presently coming across and tweaking it by adding more encouragement that would help his players stay positive on the field while learning. “Poop sandwiches”, encouragement then correction or discipline then encouragement or positive comment about them again goes a long way in helping keep players spirits up. Thank him that he cares so much about the game and your girls.
Sometimes we just don’t know how we truly look and act. Videos is good for this as well as softball Technique.
Sometimes we just don’t know how we truly look and act. Videos is good for this as well as softball Technique.
- Nov 30, 2018
- 27
- 3
There's a big difference between being hard on someone and being destructive. Sounds like this coach is the latter.
It won't change on its own, and a conversation is about all you can do. I definitely believe the kids should be the ones to talk to coaches about playing time, their role on the team, etc. -- NOT parents. But in this case, I don't think a 16U girl is the one to have a behavioral intervention with a coach.
A player could sit down with the coach and explain how his comments make them feel, but I think a parent is probably the person to do this. A civil conversation (the video idea by another commenter is also a good idea) will change it and if not, find a new team but definitely tell him why you're leaving - behavior won't change unless he knows.
