The "Hissy-Quit"

pattar said:

It wasn't a small one either. The TD and I had already gotten into it beforehand so I am sure the escalation with the police had something to do with that. I had tried to walk through an area which had an Umpires only sign on it as it was a much shorter route to the bathrooms from where I was sitting in the OF. I thought that meant only umpires could sit there but apparently not as the TD said to me "What, you cannot read?" when I asked him if it was ok to walk through the area. I then not so calmly said yes I can fu*(&() read and then said fine I will go around.

To be honest it really isn't funny although I guess reading it seems that way (the police even laughed when I explained what happened). I embarrassed myself and, more importantly, my family with the way I acted. Embarrassing myself is one thing, I have done that numerous times over the years in sporting events, but this is the first time I ever did something to embarrass my wife and children..not good. Hopefully that is rock bottom and I learn from it (and hopefully we don't ever play in Branson again since they probably have a picture of me in the USSSA headquarters over there).

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No, not really funny ... but I can’t resist ...

You missed the fence with a water bottle? And you are hollering at your daughter about making errors?!

The Man In Blue said:

No, not really funny ... but I can’t resist ...

You missed the fence with a water bottle? And you are hollering at your daughter about making errors?!

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Touche..like I said I was 10 feet in back of it and it clipped the top of it..a good 1st basemen would have pulled it in

pattar said:

It wasn't a small water bottle either... The TD and I had already gotten into it beforehand so I am sure the escalation with the police had something to do with that. I had tried to walk through an area which had an Umpires only (and apparently TDs too since his fat arse was sitting there) sign on it as it was a much shorter route to the bathrooms from where I was sitting in the OF. I thought that meant only umpires could sit there but apparently not as the TD said to me "What, you cannot read?" when I asked him if it was ok to walk through the area. I then not so calmly said yes I can fu*(&() read and then said fine I will go around.

To be honest it really isn't funny although I guess reading it seems that way (the police even laughed when I explained what happened). I embarrassed myself and, more importantly, my family with the way I acted. Embarrassing myself is one thing, I have done that numerous times over the years in sporting events, but this is the first time I ever did something to embarrass my wife and children..not good. Hopefully that is rock bottom and I learn from it (and hopefully we don't ever play in Branson again since they probably have a picture of me in the USSSA headquarters over there).

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Great... pattar is on the top 10 list. Maybe someone will make a reality tv show out of these exploits...

FP26 said:

Great... pattar is on the top 10 list. Maybe someone will make a reality tv show out of these exploits...

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That two or so hour period wasn't my finest. I did get in some good exercise walking all the way back to the rented condo..it is amazing at how much less steep hills seem when you are driving on them vs walking. On his way back from the game one of the ACs saw me walking back Forrest Gump style and decided to take a picture and then share it with the group chat..

Eric F said:

Most often, parents wait until the end of the season, and either let the coaches know they will be looking for another team for their DD, or just disappear without a word. The classy ones will will thank the coaches for the opportunity for their DD to play with the team.

Then, there is the "hissy-quit".

Every time I've seen it happen, the common thread is parents unhappy with their DD's playing time. At some point, they just can't take it any more. In my experience it's always tournaments that gets parents' panties all bunched up. I've seen it happen immediately after the last game. I've seen it happen between games - even in tournaments many hours from home.

What I saw last week set a new low "hissy-quit" bar for me...

In the middle of a game, two parents walk to the dugout, tell their DDs to pack up, and leave. On the way out, one of the parents proceeds to yell at the coach from about 20-30 feet away. This wasn't a random low-level tournament. This was PGF Premier, with D1 coaches watching the game...including Patty-gawdamn-Gasso!!!

It was stunning - vividly selfish and low-class.

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I had the pleasure of being a parent of a pick up player for a team where one of the regular parents had a hissy quit in the first inning of the second game of state.

We had picked up once before with this team and you could tell the player and the dad were both wound a little tight and felt that the player should never sit nor play any other positions. He had flipped out during the first tournament when his DD got sent to LF and my DD got put in her place at SS. She had made a ton of errors and the coach felt the need to make a change.

Well flash forward to our state tournament and we get through the first game and the regular SS had made a few errors so the HC made a change in the second game. Put my DD in at SS and the regular in LF. You knew something was going to happen. During warm ups the player was at the fence the whole time talking to dad. Inning starts and a line drive gets hit between 3rd and SS. My DD lays out for hit but doesn't get a glove on it and the ball bounces and rolls through the 7/8 gap to the fence. The regular who's now in LF doesn't move a muscle until the ball comes to rest in the OF next to the fence. Play finishes out and the HC calls time and pulls the girl. The parent comes over to the dugout and starts chirpping, meanwhile the player is yelling at the AC how she was told she'd never have to play OF and why's she out there. AC is pretty calm HC is moving on to the game. Meanwhile the parent is now chirpping at the AC and the player is packing up. The parent calls the AC a coward and holy hell, I thought it was going to be the next YOUTUBE video montage.

AC is being held back my the HC while the DD is packing her stuff and heading out of the dugout. They all walked out of the complex together.

According to the regular parents the dad and DD had been an issue all year but they never had another SS to be able to sit her and lucky enough for us, we got to be the match that struck the final straw.

I love my DD's just as everyone does, but I just don't see how anyone in their right mind can ever think that teaches our kids anything other than to be entitled and when it's not going your way, you just quit....but that's just my opinion....I could be wrong.

Great thread. Pattar, respect, you owned your conduct, water under the bridge now (pun intended).

I have only seen a parent take their kid off the bench and leave in the middle of a game once. The parent was upset that his kid wasn't in the lineup in a pool game but everyone else was, Reason? His DD skipped practice because of homework and didn't tell the coaches ahead of time, or even after the fact. It was embarrassing for everyone, especially the kid who would have played in the remaining two pool games.

I tend to agree that the reason you see crazy behavior is mostly because of the money and pressure caused by sports- it isn't just softball by any means, it's everywhere. Still no excuse for pulling out mid-game and making a scene, but the more time and money spent on any activity creates bigger expectations. Add that to the pressure on everyone- from coaches knowing they have to win to keep the core of a team together, to parents expecting to see their time (and money) spent translate into a meaningful role (not courtesy running or warming up outfielders in between innings) on the team, to the kids who feel like they are working more than playing, and you're going to have drama.

The hardest part is getting anyone to buy into the fact that they are paying for practice time and not playing time. In my experience, people tune that phrase out faster than anything else said in sports. Having been on both ends of the playing time roulette, I sympathize with everyone involved. Rationally, it makes sense but it sounds hollow when some play every inning or minute of a game while others don't, almost like someone else's DD is getting something extra. No matter how long you preach about selfless play and team sports, nobody wants to feel like they're paying for someone else's fun. Add in pickup players and the parents start thinking they are being played, as they watch their DD seemingly get pushed further and further behind. It's hard to get past that thinking, but commitments are commitments and you do have to set an example for your DD by following through on any promise you make.

For the coaches, I totally understand how difficult it is to have a frank conversation with any parent about their daughter's abilities. Brutal honesty isn't usually received well unless you're singing someone's praises. And once you start down the road of explaining why one player is starting over another, you open yourself up to complaints if you don't follow the exact same like of thinking with everyone. Still, communication is key, and it is the coaches responsibility to be as clear as possible at all times.

This is a hard issue for everyone and there aren't any easy solutions. Thinking outside the box, maybe you don't charge the kids on the end of the bench as much as those starting, at least for the national tournaments? Maybe tell the kids who are being pushed down the depth chart due to pickup players that they probably will sit most of the national tournament before they spend vacation funds on a trip? I don't know if either would work but they might not be worse than what goes on now.

Interestingly parents who have the "I paid hence deserve X" attitude doesn't end with athletics. I have seen it ratchet up the last 10 years in the University academic setting. Parents outwardly saying that they are paying a lot of money for Johnny's education and hence Johnny deserves X,Y and Z. Basically it is consumerism. As mentioned previously in this thread, these things start to rear their ugly head when the price of the product, which in TB includes both money and time invested, gets to a point where it makes a major impact on the consumer's lifestyle. When they don't feel like they are getting what they paid for, which in some cases means good grades for Johnny regardless of whether he has mastered the material, sh*& hits the fan. Just like in TB, in some cases the outrage is justified, but in a lot of cases parents instead need to look inward and figure out how they can better help Johnny succeed and be happy.

That said, just like in a classroom where 1% of the students/parents cause 99% of all the problems, most TB parents are good people with solid expectations and don't occupy either end of the "expectation distribution curve" with one end occupied by the topic of the OP and the other end occupied by people like me who think their kids needs to be perfect in order to keep their spot.

pattar said:

That two or so hour period wasn't my finest. I did get in some good exercise walking all the way back to the rented condo..it is amazing at how much less steep hills seem when you are driving on them vs walking. On his way back from the game one of the ACs saw me walking back Forrest Gump style and decided to take a picture and then share it with the group chat..

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I agree with EGH. You owned the incident and seem ready to move on. Low points do not define us. It is how we react and overcome them that does. Marcela is on a good path. But still very young. She will get there...

FP26 said:

I agree with EGH. You owned the incident and seem ready to move on. Low points do not define us. It is how we react and overcome them that does. Marcela is on a good path. But still very young. She will get there...

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She is on the right track for sure, she has a good head on her shoulders, a mother with some perspective, loves to play and has some ability. My track has long been wayward..

Most often it's delusional parents, and even if the parent is delusional there are much better ways of dealing with this. With that being said favoritism and biased opinion will kill a team fast and even cause issues between the girls themselves ruining the chemistry of the team and the kids opportunity to enjoy such a great sport. Parents can be foolish and immature, but some of this falls on the coach as well and how he manages the team.

FYI, I am not saying it's ok for the parents outrageous behavior.