The "Hissy-Quit"

Strike2 said:

Combine building frustration with the heat of summer, and all sorts of interesting things will happen. Having seen all sides of it, parents get the bad rap for getting pissed and impulsively acting on that, but sometimes the coach deserves it. Lots of money and effort are expended just to play at a decent level much less travel to high-level tournaments. Sitting rostered players so that pick-ups can help a team win is often the trigger for some well-founded hostility. Sometimes, the kid just doesn't have what it takes to play on a big stage. The parents may have stretched too far and expected too much when they joined that top-level team with a big roster, but the coach took their money and time. I'm no longer surprised when anger boils over because of that.

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I sign on with this. If Coach doesn't have faith in his rostered players, he should a) never have put them on the roster in the first place, b) communicate with those parents, tell them their DD will probably see little PT the rest of the season and give them to choice to stay or go, or c) COACH those players and develop them. They won't get any better when benched all the time.

ETA: Still doesn't excuse "hissy-quit" behavior. Time and place, but I can understand the frustration, especially when putting out $$$$$$ for planes, rental cars, hotels, food, etc..., etc....

Parent on DD's team pulled their daughter in late June because she wasn't getting much playing time and they didn't want to take a week off work for the Triple Crown World Series based upon the playing time. She finished the summer on a team that just plays local tournaments to get girls ready for HS.

One of her teammates from last year went to a team that qualified for PGF Premier, but once the HS players came back her role was mostly courtesy running.

Another one of her teammates from last year was part of a 3 pitcher rotation basically even talent wise, went to a 'name' team that she wound up being the P5 so she didn't get a lot of innings pitching, but got a fair amount of time at 1B because she has a decent bat.

Another pitcher from last year went to a team she got lots of circle time, but was somewhat frustrated because it was a weaker team.

We had two parents do this back at 10U at our home tournament probably 5 years ago. Was pretty epic. One crazy lady wanted to come in the dugout and fight our head coach over our teams errors. Considering we were a 10U C team that was thrown together late with the leftover misfit kids some parents has lets just say unrealistic expectations of thier kids skill levels. Parents can be cray-cray.

I can only imagine doing it at a high level tournament, do you really think that's going to get your kid the right kind of exposure with Patty effing Gasso?

Eric F said:

My estimation is that one of the players was on board with their parents' action, and the other was not.

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She was ok with the parents making a scene?? Doesn't sound like any pre-teen/teenager that I know of..

Sweet Lou said:

I can only imagine doing it at a high level tournament, do you really think that's going to get your kid the right kind of exposure with Patty effing Gasso?

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I'll wager that Patty Gasso has literally seen everything in this game.

Strike2 said:

I'll wager that Patty Gasso has literally seen everything in this game.

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I'm sure she has. But when she does I doubt it's the kind of think that will make a good impression.

DDs pitching coach used to coach at the college level. Now he occasionally scouts for some college coaches he is friends with. He was asked to attend a tournament a few weeks ago with specific instructions to keep an eye on the parents of a certain recruit.

I fully understand the frustration that can happen. But there are right ways and wrong ways to handle it.

Strike2 said:

Combine building frustration with the heat of summer, and all sorts of interesting things will happen. Having seen all sides of it, parents get the bad rap for getting pissed and impulsively acting on that, but sometimes the coach deserves it. Lots of money and effort are expended just to play at a decent level much less travel to high-level tournaments. Sitting rostered players so that pick-ups can help a team win is often the trigger for some well-founded hostility. Sometimes, the kid just doesn't have what it takes to play on a big stage. The parents may have stretched too far and expected too much when they joined that top-level team with a big roster, but the coach took their money and time. I'm no longer surprised when anger boils over because of that.

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I guess it's all in the "heat" of the moment...
Just gotta remind ourselves that this isn't life or death, and life goes on either way.

Rambler34 said:

I saw a post on FB from a mom that let her pitcher DD and a catcher teammate pick up at PGF this year. They were promised innings because the team needed help. After pitching just a little over an inning in 3 pool games she asked the coach. He told her his other pitcher was doing better than expected so he really didn't need her DD and basically thanks for coming. Needless to say she was pretty hot.

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I would disagree with getting mad at this one ... if you are a “pick-up” or fill-in, you should have no expectations on playing time. You certainly shouldn’t expect time over the paying team members.

On the other hand, as the coach you should be respectful of the players’ and parents’ time that they have just given you.

FP26 said:

DDs pitching coach used to coach at the college level. Now he occasionally scouts for some college coaches he is friends with. He was asked to attend a tournament a few weeks ago with specific instructions to keep an eye on the parents of a certain recruit.

I fully understand the frustration that can happen. But there are right ways and wrong ways to handle it.

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Parents are watched almost as much as the players. I’ve spoken in here before about a girl my daughter played volleyball with ... not only did her parents’ behavior at games turn away potential interest, but in one confirmed case (I knew the coach) it actually resulted in the withdrawal of a scholarship offer.

The other thing many people don’t realize is that the scouts are also watching the players’ behavior off the dirt ... something simple like the player dumping her gear with her parents and them carrying it can be a major red flag.