DD killed the golden goose and may have shot herself in both feet

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

obbay

Banned
Aug 21, 2008
2,199
0
Boston, MA
Well, she certainly painted herself into a corner! The coach at the school she has had as #1 on her list and that she wants to go to more than anything just told her No Thanks, too late. I'm done recruiting for your class. I have everyone I need. DD is devastated. "all my hard work was for nothing" I think she had already decided that she will be accepted and get financial aid to enable her to attend this college. Now she is thinking her life is over.

Health issues kept her from making an official visit during the 4 weeks she was given, and when she couldn't do that, the coach shut the door.

Now I need to help DD dust herself off and get back in the game. Maybe I can use this recruiting snafu to give me leverage when negotiating fin aid.:cool:

as always, any advice will be greatly appreciated!
 
Last edited:
May 15, 2016
926
18
I know nothing about the recruiting process, but I hope and trust her "all my hard work was for nothing" phase does not last too long. I am sure that will take its time to work itself out, but I imagine she doesn't have long to work that out. I can see the recruiting process would not go well at other schools if she is still in the mind set of it was 'all for nothing'.

In my experience with my twins, one deals with softball setbacks by wanting to get onto the practice field, hitting the shirt out a bucket of balls, and getting back to basics. The other seems to want to take some time away from the field to compose herself. I would suggest a somewhat slow approach to trying to get her to see some perspective on "all my hard work was for nothing". I know if I come in fast with trying to find perspective it usually backfires on me.

Good luck.
 
Jul 3, 2013
438
43
Plenty of fish in the sea, wasn't meant to be, when one door closes.....

Lots of cliches to use, but they're all true. Take her to the mall, get some ice cream, get her mind off of it for a few days. Then tell her it's time to move on to the #2 on her list. Or to find some more options. She has value to some program out there. It just takes more time to find her spot than she was expecting. Make sure she understands that, given her health issues, this situation was one she couldn't control.

The hard work never stops in life, got to keep grinding.
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
Is your DD a Senior? It is never too late, but sometimes you need to temper your expectations. Quick story. I know 2 kids that was approaching their senior years thinking the college softball thing is not gonna happen as their dream schools didn't want/need them for whatever reason. Fast Forward to Spring of Senior year. One kid has a couple of coaches reaching out to her and ended up playing at a very good Juco almost for free. The other kid got accepted to a very well respected school and played in the DIII Championships last Spring as a starter for a NESCAC team.

As other posters on this forum have said before. This is a process of elimination. Keep marking off the schools until your DD finds the right fit.

Any help from her TB coach?
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
Hard work is never for nothing. Worst case scenario, you have years of family time that you have enjoyed during this process. And the hard work can help her navigate life academically and beyond. But, I would suggest she doesn't give up yet. Many colleges will still see changes in their incoming 2018 class as I know there are still a lot of undecided athletes out there. Especially at the D3 level. From our experience, some college coaches have told us directly that they will not know for sure if all of their 2018 recruits will actually show up until the first day of practice next fall.
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
A lot can change in a short period of time, stay in touch with the coaching staff, but keep your options open. If that is truly your DD's #1 choice and she wants to go there, regardless of softball, then check into all other financial options. Ask the coaching staff if they know of any options. If it is a tough school to get into academically, the coaching staff may be able to pull some strings for you with admissions.
 

butcher-boy

old school
Jul 10, 2013
53
8
ARIZONA
If her ex-number one school is in a conference you might reach out to the other schools. If there is an chance that she could find a spot on one of them you could have a huge motivator. Payback is a b____.
 
Jun 11, 2012
741
63
What made that school her #1 choice? Location, size of campus, the softball team?
Once you know that it should be easier to figure out what she where else she might want to apply.


DD's deciding factor was easy, once we had toured 3 of the 4 she had a clear front runner. All of the schools she was seriously considering were in the same conference though, mostly because she was dead set on being in a certain geographical area.
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
I will add that my DD's initial Top-10 schools and her final Top-10 were DRAMATICALLY different. Schools that did not show interest were removed or lowered in priority and schools that showed interest were added or upgraded. Tell your DD when she makes her list to use a pencil with a big eraser!
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,477
Members
21,445
Latest member
Bmac81802
Top