What's the point?

While we were watching DD2 play soccer last night, I was sharing with my mother in law what's new with DD1 softball recruiting journey. I was telling her about the school that recently showed interest, how I was impressed with the academics, the size of the school(very large d3) and the fact that there aren't any athletic monies available. But there are other ways to get money other than athletic. She looks down her nose at me and says What's the point in going there if there isn't any softball money. She goes on to ask, what is her back up plan and she should go visit her cousin to spend some time on campus at a VERY large P5 school that she has no chance of playing softball there, nor do we have any interest in sending her to a school with 70K students.

I just about punched her in the face. The more I thought it about it I came up with my own questions. Why join a sorority/fraternity, why play club sports, why join an any organization while you are in college?? What's the point of kids playing HS sports, theater arts, band, choir, key club, FFA?

When I was in college I played Rugby and traveled every other weekend on my own dime and practiced several nights a week, I joined a business fraternity, I was a member of the International Business club, and I was very active at the local bar/club! What's the point?

The problem with where we live people are programmed to think they have go to one of two major schools in this region and that is it. There's nothing else. It's very myopic and one dimensional thinking. Now you add in an athlete to mix, your options have now multiplied 10X. I have considered schools that I didn't even know existed 4 years ago. My approach to this recruiting thing has drastically changed in the past several years and because of the stories that have been shared here, have heard first hand and second hand by friends in the TB world several schools have been crossed off the list in the past couple of months. I know that I will miss all of this when it's over!

My daughter learned quickly that she should use softball to get into a great academic school that she may not have gotten into without softball. In the end it's about what are you going to do after college. Use softball as a means to help you academically. Fortunately she committed to a power five with great academics, so she gets the power 5 softball experience.

Academic schools are also more likely to major in what you want to. Most D1 won't let you major in difficult majors, so you're also limiting yourself that way.

Being from Texas I get the UT or A&M mentality but honestly looking hard at a school like Incarnate Word (DI), St Edwards or St Mary's (DII) or Trinity or U of Dallas (DIII) might get you lots of bang for your buck if she has the grades and can get in and qualifies for academic money too.

Along the way, many will question the journey and why DD and you are doing what you do. We've had similar experiences from relatives and friends because, of course, everyone has an opinion or criticism. Over the last couple years I've learned to just not talk about it. We'll talk about games or how she's doing, but I leave the college journey out of it. If people ask, I'll answer a specific question. But unless I'm speaking with a softball parent or other collegiate-student/athelete-minded parent, I find the less conversation about that part of the journey the better. Otherwise, you might as well be speaking a foreign language.

I love my mother-in-law, but I can't sit near her during a game. If she's not chit-chatting (gossiping) the whole time about family and friends with DW, then she's snipping at my father-in-law for some unseen infraction.
I usually find my self behind the outfield fence with other like-minded DH's.

djcarter1966 said:

Being from Texas I get the UT or A&M mentality but honestly looking hard at a school like Incarnate Word (DI), St Edwards or St Mary's (DII) or Trinity or U of Dallas (DIII) might get you lots of bang for your buck if she has the grades and can get in and qualifies for academic money too.

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Bingo! My exact point.

#7sDad said:

Along the way, many will question the journey and why DD and you are doing what you do. We've had similar experiences from relatives and friends because, of course, everyone has an opinion or criticism. Over the last couple years I've learned to just not talk about it. We'll talk about games or how she's doing, but I leave the college journey out of it. If people ask, I'll answer a specific question. But unless I'm speaking with a softball parent or other collegiate-student/athelete-minded parent, I find the less conversation about that part of the journey the better. Otherwise, you might as well be speaking a foreign language.

I love my mother-in-law, but I can't sit near her during a game. If she's not chit-chatting (gossiping) the whole time about family and friends with DW, then she's snipping at my father-in-law for some unseen infraction.
I usually find my self behind the outfield fence with other like-minded DH's.

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Very good advice. And yes, I can't sit with my DW or MIL. Too many irritating comments and questions.

Unless MIL is paying all the expenses related to your dd’s softball life, then it’s none of her business.


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For some people, playing sports is more than the sport. Team - really learning what that word means. Leadership, performing under pressure, having your teammates back and them having yours. Long bus trips where crazy stuff happens you still laugh about 20 years later. Friendships, life long bonds, suffering together, laughing together, crying together. Pushing yourself to your limit and then having your teammates and coaches teaching you that your limit is further than you thought. Learning to deal with failure, feeling like you let others down. Learning how to pick up someone when they think they let the team down and let them know you still love them. The locker room stories.

I played sports as a kid because I loved sports, but now I realize the sport I played was secondary to all the other things I got to experience. By far.

WaNole said:

Most D1 won't let you major in difficult majors, so you're also limiting yourself that way.

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I think the coaches that dictate majors are a very small minority. Most D1 rosters, even of top schools, seem to have kids with strenuous majors.

Good luck to your DD. Lots of perks at P5 schools that people often overlook.

If the school has other monies available, what difference does it make what pot the funds come out of? My daughter got essentially a full ride but very little of the total funds she got came out of the athletic money. Because of her grades the coach was able to get her all kinds of academic money which left the athletic money for other players without the grades.