Frustrating! Why isn't coach responding? Thoughts? How to proceed?

Is the school D1, D2, D3, NAIA? Rules are different depending for each.
If it is a D1, the coach is not allowed to contact your DD directly until Sept 1 of her junior year.
Keep sending the coaching STAFF (not just the HC) updates on your DD and her upcoming schedule.
Do NOT put all of your eggs into one basket. Until your DD verbals or signs, keep all of your options open.

Here is what worked for my DD regarding phone calls.
Best time to reach coach in office is 9-11 am on Tue-Wed-Thur. When reaching voicemail
"Hi this is ______, I sent you an email and will follow up at 10:00 tomorrow."

Chances are someone from the staff will be there at 10 to receive the call.

JAD said:

Is the school D1, D2, D3, NAIA? Rules are different depending for each.
If it is a D1, the coach is not allowed to contact your DD directly until Sept 1 of her junior year.
Keep sending the coaching STAFF (not just the HC) updates on your DD and her upcoming schedule.
Do NOT put all of your eggs into one basket. Until your DD verbals or signs, keep all of your options open.

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School is D3. So technically, so HC is technically allowed to respond to her.

I'm sure coaches are busy people but to get to where they are, they would have had to have gone through what dd and many other young ladies and men have gone through. I wish sometimes they'd remember how stressful the process is and to not keep these poor kids hanging. I know that it would be hard to take if a coach said, "Sorry, but we're not interested". Tough pill to swallow but honestly, I personally would rather know this. I realize that coaches have a job to do and that they have to keep the interest up from the kids in case nothing better comes along but it's so hard to see DD's hopes slowly get chipped away with no response, day in day out. At one point, DD said to me.... "maybe they sent me the email in error. Maybe it wasn't meant for me."

On the other hand, some other coaches are great. They respond every time she writes. She know nothing is guaranteed until she signs or is admitted... but what I"m trying to say is, coaches should try to respond.

girliesmom said:

School is D3. So technically, so HC is technically allowed to respond to her.

I'm sure coaches are busy people but to get to where they are, they would have had to have gone through what dd and many other young ladies and men have gone through. I wish sometimes they'd remember how stressful the process is and to not keep these poor kids hanging. I know that it would be hard to take if a coach said, "Sorry, but we're not interested". Tough pill to swallow but honestly, I personally would rather know this. I realize that coaches have a job to do and that they have to keep the interest up from the kids in case nothing better comes along but it's so hard to see DD's hopes slowly get chipped away with no response, day in day out. At one point, DD said to me.... "maybe they sent me the email in error. Maybe it wasn't meant for me."

On the other hand, some other coaches are great. They respond every time she writes. She know nothing is guaranteed until she signs or is admitted... but what I"m trying to say is, coaches should try to respond.

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Ok, here is the harsh reality of recruiting. Most coaches have a whiteboard with a "wishlist" of players at different positions. Let's say your DD is a catcher. The coach may have 5 catchers listed on their whiteboard, ranked 1-5. What the coach is going to do is offer their #1 choice, if player #1 turns them down, they offer #2, and so on down the line until they get to #5. If all 5 turn them down they either go find more recruits or push that requirement to the next recruiting class.

If I was a betting man, there is a player ranked higher on the coaches board and they are trying to string your DD along until the players above her decide what they are going to do. Or, there is a possibility a player ranked higher on the whiteboard has already accepted and your DD is no longer a priority. Do not take it personally because very few players would be #1 on every coaches whiteboard. Recruiting is like playing musical chairs and dominos at the same time...

JAD said:

Ok, here is the harsh reality of recruiting. Most coaches have a whiteboard with a "wishlist" of players at different positions. Let's say your DD is a catcher. The coach may have 5 catchers listed on their whiteboard, ranked 1-5. What the coach is going to do is offer their #1 choice, if player #1 turns them down, they offer #2, and so on down the line until they get to #5. If all 5 turn them down they either go find more recruits or push that requirement to the next recruiting class.

If I was a betting man, there is a player ranked higher on the coaches board and they are trying to string your DD along until the players above her decide what they are going to do. Or, there is a possibility a player ranked higher on the whiteboard has already accepted and your DD is no longer a priority. Do not take it personally because very few players would be #1 on every coaches whiteboard. Recruiting is like playing musical chairs and dominos at the same time...

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Makes complete sense and, I don't take it personally.

Question: Is it okay for a player to ask a coach where she ranks on her list? If yes, will a coach be honest in their response? If that question is not appropriate, how does one go about finding out where they rank?

girliesmom said:

Makes complete sense and, I don't take it personally.

Question: Is it okay for a player to ask a coach where she ranks on her list? If yes, will a coach be honest in their response? If that question is not appropriate, how does one go about finding out where they rank?

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Here would be my answers to those questions: (Someone correct me if I'm off-base.)

Yes it is ok to ask where she ranks.

The coach will mostly likely give you as honest of an answer as they can while being vague enough to keep you warm. (Some will out right lie but I've found most try to be as truthful as they can).

Ask the coach who they have committed already for your DD year class and the years above and below. Knowing the number they have committed and the player positions should give you a good idea of where your DD will be ranked as far as priority.

Also keep in mind, that a lot of schools have to run multiple combinations of players and their academics to determine how much they have to offer in scholarship money. They may had to go over in athletic scholarship money to a get their #1 overall target just to get her committed. Maybe that year class is going to have to be fairly big or small because of attrition and graduation. So the scale of priority versus talent that they can get signed makes them adjust which player fits into which slot, etc. A lot of variables come into play.


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girliesmom said:

Makes complete sense and, I don't take it personally.

Question: Is it okay for a player to ask a coach where she ranks on her list? If yes, will a coach be honest in their response? If that question is not appropriate, how does one go about finding out where they rank?

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I think it is absolutely OK to ask that question. However, I would start with pushing for a visit. If the coach is truly interested a visit will get lined up soon. If they don't even respond to set up a visit you have a pretty good idea where you stand with the coaches. Once your DD is there sitting in the chair in front of the coach's desk, she should ask all the tough questions. If the coach waffles or doesn't want to answer, I would be wary. The best thing they can do is be honest. If your daughter was originally #4 but they missed out on #1 and #2, and are actively recruiting #3 then that makes her currently #2 at her position. You say it is a very highly rated D3 school for academics. Apply to the school, get accepted, and see what the financial aid is like. Go there anyway if that is where your daughter wants to go to school and play club sports or join the ballroom dancing club. Meanwhile there is a good chance that she can tryout and make the team anyway if she ends up going to the school and she was being actively recruited at one point.

girliesmom said:

Makes complete sense and, I don't take it personally.

Question: Is it okay for a player to ask a coach where she ranks on her list? If yes, will a coach be honest in their response? If that question is not appropriate, how does one go about finding out where they rank?

Click to expand...

I would guess most coaches would be very vague in their responses. As [MENTION=8451]Strike[/MENTION] pointed out there are a lot of variable in play, and I really don't see a coach saying "your DD is our 3rd choice, but we are waiting to see what #1 and #2 do..."