At a crossroad

[_MIA_]

I have no idea how a freshmen in HS would know what they want to study in college..I mean half the kids in my Engineering classes
don't seem to know what they want to study..

 

[Shiloh]

Thanks for sharing. Idiot Dads like me just do not think like this...or maybe its just me

Yeah, I wouldn't have thought of it either.

 

[nikkilugi]

The days that most hs freshman has to decide things like this are either over or temporarily on hold.

The reasons are The Portal and Super Seniors. The ones this affects the least are the top 1% type players.

Players in general are getting recruited a little later now.

It would help if orgs, coaches and parents would calm the hell down.

Easier said than done, I know.

Well that's not what we are seeing and my daughter is not a P5 1% player. She still received emails/contact on 9/1 and has committed as a 2023 and she is not a pitcher, or a middle. I think it is silly to say that coaches aren't looking at freshman (not that you are silly so please don't read anything into that). It is a job of a coach to plan for their needs. The school DD committed to knows exactly how many 2023's they need to recruit for their needs and mentioned how many 24's they would need. They are a fairly small mid-major.

 

[CrazyNani]

I don’t have all the information I need about this and I don’t know your grand daughter. I have a couple thoughts though.

Could it be fear of ”failure”? She might be thinking along the lines of “what if I don’t get picked”. It’s not failure to not get recruited by Alabama or Oklahoma, but many kids do see it that way.

When the point of softball becomes “getting recruited” instead of enjoying playing at a highest personal level possible and beating the other team, it can cause unintended consequences. Think about whether this is what’s going on here.

One of my DD’s went through a period when she didn’t think she wanted to play college softball. She stepped down to a team that was actually pretty good but the players weren’t as polished and they didn't play as good of competition and dd hated that. I say that because it sounds like your dgd has not decided. There is more than one reason to play on a higher level team, and recruiting may not be one of them.

One of the best years old DD’s tb career, (and most enjoyable), she played with a mixed group of players. Some knew they didn’t want to play college softball. They were good, knew they were good, and liked to play. One of the players is currently one of the best pitchers in college softball. It was ok that there were different goals, and the coach understood the difference.

So here’s the advice: have dgd talk to the coach. Let the coach know she is still deciding, but he is making the decision for her and it’s unwelcome. That’s the ONLY move to be made here as far as I’m concerned. Because what if she decides she DOES want to play college ball? And she might. And what if she is still trying to figure out how far she can take this? Why limit her options?

Thank you for your thoughtful response. The situation is, the coach has clearly stated to all, that if you don’t want to play in college, then this isn’t the team for them. That was a big turn off for her and all of our family, frankly. She was one of 3 freshmen on the team so it seemed a bit early for her to be putting in literally hours, on making lists of schools and getting emails out. What positive came out of it was that she is making the decision to not go out for the Spring/Summer team. We are proud of her for being able to make that difficult decision, basically standing back and giving the coach the team she wants. I felt that was as much of a growth experience as playing another year on this team. She is poised to play for her high school next Spring and who knows what happens after that. I think she’ll choose to play TB again someday but if not, I am not going to feel disappointment. She does have other activities she’s involved in and she’ll have more room for them now. It actually feels very freeing knowing she isn’t conflicted with this decision any longer. She felt like she was going to be an outcast by staying on that team. I just don’t think anyone should ever have to feel that way while playing youth sports. It should bring joy not anxiety. Some might mock me for that and that’s okay.

 

[Westwind]

@nikkilugi

Maybe things are settling down.

I can only comment on the players I still know from DD’s playing days, she is a college sophomore.

 

[nikkilugi]

@nikkilugi

Maybe things are settling down.

I can only comment on the players I still know from DD’s playing days, she is a college sophomore.

Man I hope things are settling down. There are a few 22's on DD's team who just got committed/signed but I also know most are preferred walk ons at this point also. I do know we were a little "extra" when it came to the recruiting game, lol. At least we didn't pay anyone so I can say that, hahaha.

I do think there is a team for OP's DGD but some teams are certainly more recruiting focused and are geared for kids like DD who have concrete plans to play at the next level. There are teams that aren't that way and her GD doesn't have to give up playing TB. She really doesn't. There is a team for her.

 

[radness]

The situation is, the coach has clearly stated to all, that if you don’t want to play in college, then this isn’t the team for them.

Be thankful the coach is a communicator.

Nice to read you recognize it as a Growing Experience on her journey.

 

[_MIA_]

It should bring joy not anxiety. Some might mock me for that and that’s okay.

You are "reading the room" incorrectly if that is what you think. Some (including me) are suggesting that she might miss playing TB if she actually enjoys playing the game/practicing without the added college recruiting pressure. Maybe not, which is fine as well of course.

I also don't think the coach is necessarily doing anything wrong (although the fixed 30 college number is probably a bit silly...my guess is most kids probably had 10 to 15 real colleges and then just randomly added another 15 to 20) I will say though that his idea that the team is for players serious about playing in college probably should have been mentioned before she joined the team (including what he requires of the players in this regard).

 

[Westwind]

Be thankful the coach is a communicator.

Yep. Communicating this might have more to do with finding players/parents willing to commit to the rigors of travel and finances than whether the kid really wants to play in college.

Which big picture is how really good players go unnoticed and players whose parents can afford it get their kids recruited.

Super Sarcasm Warning:

Can’t get recruited unless you play for one of the oligarchs of softball, lol (Yes, I know that isn’t true, don’t hate me for possessing high level comedic talent!)

 

[Westwind]

You are "reading the room" incorrectly if that is what you think. Some (including me) are suggesting that she might miss playing TB if she actually enjoys playing the game/practicing without the added college recruiting pressure. Maybe not, which is fine as well of course.

I also don't think the coach is necessarily doing anything wrong (although the fixed 30 college number is probably a bit silly...my guess is most kids probably had 10 to 15 real colleges and then just randomly added another 15 to 20) I will say though that his idea that the team is for players serious about playing in college probably should have been mentioned before she joined the team (including what he requires of the players in this regard).

Agree, and especially with the 30 thing.

How can any college coach drink through that firehouse of emails. Thanks, tb coach, have you ever had a work email?