High School coach

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Feb 20, 2020
377
63
I'm going to kind of rant..
DD played JV as a freshman and was one of the 3 players who played every game - was basically 1 or 2 in all batting stats. Played either CF or SS. One of the other freshmen who played every game actually was brought up to play varsity some last year but mostly as a base runner.
This year, DD is playing Varsity but she's not a permanent starter. He only started 7 players every game - every inning. DD probably got the most playing time as a non perm starter. She played RF the majority of the games and LF on occasion. The other girl was primary CF but pitched so when she pitched, the coach moved DD to LF and moved the LF (a senior) to CF.
It's been a big annoyance to us that he has his set players and some people on the team don't get to play at all.
He's doing his end of season interviews with the players and one of DD's friends must have said something about playing OF and the coach really says - we only had 2 good outfielders this year - one is a senior and one pitches so I guess OF positions are up for grabs. So basically he's talking bad about any one else who played OF this year.
My husband and I have no idea what he thinks is so great about the other players. They didn't catch EVERYTHING that came their way, they made errors. It's got to a point where should DD even try next year to play if she's horrible. She caught pretty much everything she could - but also, we didn't have a ton hit to RF. The majority always went to CF so of course she's going to get a ton of catches. But there were plenty that - if she was as amazing as he thinks - she should have caught.

Anyway I know it's just HS ball and this is the norm but I'm just so annoyed with him. DD has her interview next week and she's basically just assuming he's going to tell her everything she did wrong. The thing that gets me is that - she had the 3rd best BA up until her last game - she had hurt her hand before then so she wasn't playing her best so she wasn't a horrible player. And her BA was much better than the girl who played CF (who it feels like the coach wishes the entire team was made of her).

the end..

Here, hold my beer.

Seriously, high school coaches are just high school coaches. Some are great and really want to develop their players. Others just want to reward the kids they've known a long time. They might know a lot; they might know next to nothing. One thing I have learned in DD's high school "journey" is that you can't predict what a coach will do, and the only thing you can to is work to be one of the set seve -- now eight -- that get the PT next year.

If you want to make a change in your daughter's standing next yer, find a way to suck up to the coach. Maybe try to play for his club team. Or make a donation to the school. Join the booster club. Donate some money for new jerseys. Don't assume a high school team is a meritocracy, because the chances are it's not. So if you want to improve your standing in the court, be prepared to kiss the ring.
 
Feb 3, 2016
502
43
I get it for those on the school side of HS ball.
Can't imagine how bad it must suck with all the crying with every sport, and year after year.

I talk with current and former HS coaches (FP/BB) all the time. I hear from disgruntled parents too.

Yeah some teacher needs an extra grand or two and can figure someone's batting average. They're now the HC of insert school name here ____.
Seems like half the time they don't even want to be there. Some tell me it's only for the money period. Occasionally they get some athletes and some skilled players.

When AD's tells HC you must play Seniors who don't earn it. AD also tells the coach strictly because of parents influence that they will start certain players period.

Of course parochial schools have different rules and money always talks. Public schools have similar issues too. It's always seems to be the same story school after school.

I also know parents have no ability to see their DD's talent or ability for what it is.... But with 1000's of people with basically the same story year after year are they always wrong? Maybe, probably, or is the truth about HS ball showing?



Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
 
Oct 26, 2019
1,375
113
I get it for those on the school side of HS ball.
Can't imagine how bad it must suck with all the crying with every sport, and year after year.

I talk with current and former HS coaches (FP/BB) all the time. I hear from disgruntled parents too.

Yeah some teacher needs an extra grand or two and can figure someone's batting average. They're now the HC of insert school name here ____.
Seems like half the time they don't even want to be there. Some tell me it's only for the money period. Occasionally they get some athletes and some skilled players.

When AD's tells HC you must play Seniors who don't earn it. AD also tells the coach strictly because of parents influence that they will start certain players period.

Of course parochial schools have different rules and money always talks. Public schools have similar issues too. It's always seems to be the same story school after school.

I also know parents have no ability to see their DD's talent or ability for what it is.... But with 1000's of people with basically the same story year after year are they always wrong? Maybe, probably, or is the truth about HS ball showing?



Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
I have never met an AD who told any head coach who to play and where to play them. Certainly none of the ADs I work with where I live. There are definitely coaches who aren’t very good in HS. I have ran into many in travel who aren’t very good either. The answer to me is pretty clear. HS is the first time many girls sit the bench. Self awareness is not a strength kids or parents have - it MUST be someone else’s fault my kids not playing because it CANT be my kids fault.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
HS ball - P.U.N.C.H., Don't drink that kool-aid.

Politics
Un-earned spots
Not playing the best nine players
Clicks
HC's who don't know the game

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
I guess I have been punched. LOL

To the OP, read your post again. You really don't know much at all and are relying on your emotional ties and a second or third hand interpretation of a conversation. Now, where did I put that boxing headgear?
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,132
113
Dallas, Texas
we only had 2 good outfielders this year - one is a senior and one pitches so I guess OF positions are up for grabs. So basically he's talking bad about any one else who played OF this year.

This is a little tough love... The point of sports is to teach life lessons, not simply how to hit a yellow ball.

Your DD plays on a travel ball team where she gets to play X innings no matter how well she plays. On her travel team, playing time is given to her. So, she really doesn't know how to earn playing time.

Somewhere along the line, you and her decided that every coach she meets owes her playing time. Guess what? He doesn't owe her anything.

Instead of saying "poor, poor baby, the coach is so unfair to you," you should be asking your DD, "What can you do to get more playing time?"

Earning playing time is real simple: She has to be a lot better than anyone else on the team. She has outperform every one at every practice. Then, during a game, she has to be better than everyone else. She then makes it impossible for him not to play her. (Assuming she doesn't get into other trouble.)
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,132
113
Dallas, Texas
If you want to make a change in your daughter's standing next yer, find a way to suck up to the coach. Maybe try to play for his club team. Or make a donation to the school. Join the booster club. Donate some money for new jerseys. Don't assume a high school team is a meritocracy, because the chances are it's not. So if you want to improve your standing in the court, be prepared to kiss the ring.
Funny...my kids didn't do any of that. DD#1 started every game her junior and senior years. DD#3 started every game from the middle of her sophomore year.

Maybe it was politics...or maybe it was DD"#1's 14 strikeouts a game and .450 batting average, or DD#3' 20 points a game and 10 rebounds a game.
 
Apr 20, 2015
961
93
I completely agree with the watered down travel comment. In my area everyone is under the impression that all travel softball is the same level. Many parents have never seen a PGF contender team of all D1 prospects play the game so they just have no idea. They ask me all the time why my dd plays for a team so far away....

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
I get it for those on the school side of HS ball.
Can't imagine how bad it must suck with all the crying with every sport, and year after year.

I talk with current and former HS coaches (FP/BB) all the time. I hear from disgruntled parents too.

Yeah some teacher needs an extra grand or two and can figure someone's batting average. They're now the HC of insert school name here ____.
Seems like half the time they don't even want to be there. Some tell me it's only for the money period. Occasionally they get some athletes and some skilled players.

When AD's tells HC you must play Seniors who don't earn it. AD also tells the coach strictly because of parents influence that they will start certain players period.

Of course parochial schools have different rules and money always talks. Public schools have similar issues too. It's always seems to be the same story school after school.

I also know parents have no ability to see their DD's talent or ability for what it is.... But with 1000's of people with basically the same story year after year are they always wrong? Maybe, probably, or is the truth about HS ball showing?



Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk
I was ok with my one post here until I read the bold. The Truth is that there are "experts" out there charging fees for lessons, coaching travel ball teams, ... who don't know their rear from a hole in the ground. It goes both ways and yes, there are poor HS coaches. However, if you are from some softball hotbed then I'd suggest that many if not most of those coaches are hired because they are qualified. In my area, if you don't know what you are doing, you'll be gone fast. We have several posters from my area and I believe that they will verify that. Per parents and the suggestion that you need to kiss their rear. If you do, your dd isn't as good as you think. On the diamond, PLAYERS stand out and will be on that starting lineup.

I have shared this so many times before but I'll bore some of you one more time. When I was the HC, we had a group of freshmen moms (with their main spokes mom) step up right after tryouts to let me know that their dds were superstars and had won so many tournaments in our area. In fact, they knew that some of the varsity players didn't play summer ball at all since they had not seen them in the area and they were not on local teams. I called my dd over and asked her how many local tournaments had she played that summer. She said one. I then asked her how many states had she played in that summer. She said 7. I asked how many games she played and she said over 100 but she was not sure. I then thanked the mom and told her that I appreciated her help and that we would not have another conversation for the next 4 years.
 
Aug 25, 2019
1,066
113
Funny...my kids didn't do any of that. DD#1 started every game her junior and senior years. DD#3 started every game from the middle of her sophomore year.

Maybe it was politics...or maybe it was DD"#1's 14 strikeouts a game and .450 batting average, or DD#3' 20 points a game and 10 rebounds a game.
Bad example, brother Slugger. Sounds like your kids are great, and greatness will trump all sorts of B.S in high school sports. Like alot of cats here, I've watched Softball through DD for 8 years, but I've also coached 3 years (yeah it was rec ball) and I've umpired over over two years now, so I've seen alot of softball, and I've also seen in school ball real good players getting benched over mediocre players for no reason at all (not problem child or academics) but for B.S reasons, maybe because the school-only mediocre players sucked up to the coach or booster club, while the real good travel player did not. So like I said, unless your kid is a superstar, I agree with what whiporee said.
 
Aug 10, 2016
686
63
Georgia
This is a little tough love... The point of sports is to teach life lessons, not simply how to hit a yellow ball.

Your DD plays on a travel ball team where she gets to play X innings no matter how well she plays. On her travel team, playing time is given to her. So, she really doesn't know how to earn playing time.

Somewhere along the line, you and her decided that every coach she meets owes her playing time. Guess what? He doesn't owe her anything.

Instead of saying "poor, poor baby, the coach is so unfair to you," you should be asking your DD, "What can you do to get more playing time?"

Earning playing time is real simple: She has to be a lot better than anyone else on the team. She has outperform every one at every practice. Then, during a game, she has to be better than everyone else. She then makes it impossible for him not to play her. (Assuming she doesn't get into other trouble.)

Yes it's been rare for DD to ever sit. I honestly do not even have a problem with her sitting if it was because everyone was much better than her. It just seems a little odd for a coach to tell a player that their team only had 2 good outfielders - and it was the player who told DD - not her mom.

About her trying to be better than everyone else, etc - it doesn't actually matter. For the first 8 games - 2 of the perm starters had not even gotten 1 hit. For the majority of the season, DD had more hits than one of them with 1/2 the PAs.

The people he decides to start really have NEVER sat before. There is literally nothing they could do that would make him sit them. That's why we are upset about it. And he's not one to be very personable or open to questions so it's not even worth asking him. I feel like if we did, he would just perm sit her.

And it's not even just my DD. We are actually lucky she does play as much as she does and we probably shouldn't complain really. There are tons of juniors who have barely played.

Anyway - I think you did get a little rude here w/o even knowing me and deciding how I am actually feeling but that's cool. I've never decided that she deserves her playing time - I think she has to work for it and pretty much every coach she's ever had has liked her. She goes out and gives 100% at practice and games - doesn't cry when she doesn't get a hit (like the girls who start all the time) - doesn't have an attitude with any coaches or players. I think the coach is pretty unfair to 1/2 of the team - not just DD. Please don't put words in my mouth without knowing the full story.

Thank you to those who gave advice :)
 

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,478
Members
21,445
Latest member
Bmac81802
Top