Swapping Teams

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Feb 7, 2020
25
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The parents are the worst. When I played if you didn’t make the team your butt went home and practiced harder. That way when tryouts came back up you were mentally and physically ready. Not these days parents will just go to the next travel tryouts until there kid got picked up.
I agree it's all the parents. Here in Ontario Canada I find girls just want to play as a rule and the parents are the ones trying to position the kids to be on "the team" most likely for bragging rights.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
You know... we don't have this issue really in our org. Sure players come and go - as is their right - but our retention rate is really high. You know why...

Because we don't worry about this; we realize we don't 'own' any player or their family, We concentrate on putting the best program/organization together and for the most part, people want to stay. Or join. We don't burn bridges when players leave - and many come back.

You can't look back to the imaginary 'it was better in my day' - it isn't coming back. And it wasn't btw - it was just different. Frankly, I like that many of the 'old boys networks' have been broken and gone and you don't have to be in the 'in-crowd' to get access anymore. We adapted and flourished - the whiners and complainers are or have been bypassed and yearn for the 'old days'.

Parents make the best decision they can for their kid - right or wrong. You make the decision as hard as possible and wish them luck if they believe they find the right situation somewhere else. Be happy you were part of a kid's development for even a short period of time and be willing to welcome them back if they want to come back.
 
Mar 28, 2014
1,081
113
The parents are the worst. When I played if you didn’t make the team your butt went home and practiced harder. That way when tryouts came back up you were mentally and physically ready. Not these days parents will just go to the next travel tryouts until there kid got picked up.
Isn't the whole idea of Travel Ball to let your kid play ball for more than a 3 month rec season? Do you really expect kids to just tryout for one team and if they don't make it, sit out a whole year to "practice harder"? Practicing on your own is great but there is no replacement for practicing with a team. And the games are the fun part for them. No team = no games. Are you supposed to deny your kid a chance to do what she loves because she didn't make the first team she tried out for? Come on now.

I get the team jumping aspect of things and agree that it gets out of hand but I can't go along with your idea that if she doesn't make the first team she tries out for that she should go home and practice, practice, practice. This isn't life or death here. The kid just wants to play softball games. Is it really so bad to take her to enough tryouts until she eventually reaches her goal of making a team so she can play the game she loves?
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
With regards to actual thread title (team swapping), and not with kids trying out for multiple teams (which I have no isse with), the main issue with TB is the money the parents are spending and the expectations that brings. Parents are spending money on private instructors and travel ball is expensive as it is so if they are not seeing a "return on their investment" they bolt. Most parents would be better served buying two buckets of balls and a L-screen and heading to the local field vs. heading to the next TB team
 
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Jun 8, 2016
16,118
113
Isn't the whole idea of Travel Ball to let your kid play ball for more than a 3 month rec season? Do you really expect kids to just tryout for one team and if they don't make it, sit out a whole year to "practice harder"? Practicing on your own is great but there is no replacement for practicing with a team. And the games are the fun part for them. No team = no games. Are you supposed to deny your kid a chance to do what she loves because she didn't make the first team she tried out for? Come on now.
OP was about jumping teams. In that case, IMO, you leave a team if the coaching sucks or if your DD has outgrown the level they are playing at. If you are on a team with good coaches and you are not playing as much as you want to then you work harder.

There is also the issue of a parent doing their due diligence in placing a kid on a team which somewhat fits their skill level and coaches being honest upfront with the parent about playing time. If a coach tells a parent that their kid is going to be the 12th player on the team (out of 12) and they choose the team then they cannot be upset when this is what happens. If the coach isn't honest with them than that (imo) falls under the "coaching sucks" umbrella in my first paragraph.

With regards to bold, if we are talking about skill development(fielding,hitting,throwing) I would disagree assuming the individual practice is with someone who knows what they are doing. You get many more reps on your own.
 
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TMD

Feb 18, 2016
433
43
I'm of two minds about all of this. It really all comes down to motivation and opportunity.

The Motivation for moving teams, in my opinion, is usually parent-driven. There does exist the parent who through genuine objectivity sees a high ceiling (or actual skill) in their daughter and is always looking for a way to put her in the best position to reach her full potential. There also exist many a parent with an exquisitely fine-tuned pair of rose-colored glasses who know that Muffin is better than her current situation and won't sit idly by while that potential is wasted.

Without Opportunity, however, it's hard to act on that motivation...and that opportunity has increased by an order of magnitude over the last several years due to the addition of more and more "elite", "gold", "better than elite and gold" travel teams. Jump on your local fastpitch forum and you will always see teams looking to add players. That is the opportunity to act on the motivation.

My own daughter played her entire travel career, from 8U to 18U, with the same organization. The opportunity was certainly there to jump teams during those years, but the motivation was not. She was happy with her teammates, was playing at a high enough level that both challenged her athletically and gave her the exposure she wanted, and was ultimately able to land her where she currently is, playing in college while earning her degree.

"Softball the game" is and always will be a team game..."Softball the journey", however, is very much an individual game.
 
Nov 18, 2015
1,585
113
"Softball the game" is and always will be a team game..."Softball the journey", however, is very much an individual game.
Thanks TMD - You just summarized, in one line, what is probably the underlying motivation for most of us on DFP:
"how do I help my daughter love the game, and become a better player?"

If every coach and parent better understood not only the different goals for each side of this equation (team vs. individual), but the roles they both have (on both sides), the "Softball Discussions" forum would be a whole lot quieter (and much less interesting!).
 
Mar 28, 2014
1,081
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With regards to bold, if we are talking about skill development(fielding,hitting,throwing) I would disagree assuming the individual practice is with someone who knows what they are doing. You get many more reps on your own.
This is the assumption that I was not willing to make in my post. I've talked to enough Mom's and Dad's by now to know that the ones that know what they're doing are few and far between so I made a blanket statement that covers about 95% of the situations out there based on my rough estimation.
 
Mar 28, 2014
1,081
113
I will add this. As someone alluded to earlier, any coach or organization that is losing a ton of players to other teams may want to look in the mirror first before pointing fingers at parents. That's the easy thing to do. Pile on the parents. Just saying, self-evaluation is always a good idea but it's even a better idea if something you are in charge of is losing members, whether that be a softball team or a country club. The good teams/organizations around here have no problems attracting and keeping players and the bad ones are constantly looking for replacements And the good coaches have no problems either while the bad ones are constantly looking. There's a reason for that which goes beyond the parents looking for greener pastures.
 

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